Comment from Hayley Solomon

Excellent

:lovely story and lucky son to have a mum who cared and ke him on the straight and narrow, unlike is jail bound friend.
parenting is both a gift and art and you have done well. Lovely poem.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi Haley, Thanks for your lovely review and yes he did stay on the straight and narrow. His childhood friend Is in and out of jail very sad. Glad you liked the story Cheers

Comment from KL Williams

Excellent

Great poem! I thought it flowed and rhymed very well. I also thought it had a great message! This should be a children's book that every child should own. ;)

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi KL Williams. Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem for this contest. Yes it was a good lesson and my son and me often have a laugh about this. a book thats a thought Cheers

Comment from Monz1

Excellent

Well done on a very clear and precise retelling of your son ( and friend's) misdemeanours.I enjoyed your backstory too. I am glad this was a lesson gently learned but obviously saw your son in good stead from that point.
It's not only a moral for children but a lesson to parents to consider carefully the chosen crowd our children 'hang' with and get to know them.
As an aside, I have also entered this comp with my entry 'Who Stole the Cookies?' - would love to have your feedback if poss, Cheers

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi Monz1 Yes it was a lesson learn't for my son? They were only little kids and in primary school amd didn't remain friends after school ended. But I do take your point I am luck with my three they all have good friends .Cheers

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Great entry for this contest, also would have been perfect for 'Share a Story in a Poem.' I LOVE the lesson here!! Shame about the other boy, the way he turned out. Blessings...

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi Irish Rain, A true story so it was easy to relate I smiled while I wrote this in memory of the two in my car driving to the ' Police Station with me trying not to laugh out loud and keeping my serious side until lesson learnt. One good thing at least my son shared the $100 LOL Cheers for your review

Comment from Mustang Patty

Good

thank you for sharing this poem about a lesson well taught. (Its a shame about the other boy.) You did a good job with the poetry, but you need to work on the use of punctuation marks.

There are missing marks, and some that are misplaced. When a character speaks, the words they are speaking are enclosed in quotations, and the 'tags' are left alone. When you change from one speaker to another, new quotation marks need to be put in place.

~patty~

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 Comment Written 07-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017

Hi Patty Thanks for your review and I have revised the punctuation I hope it is in better form now. Yes it is a shame about the other boy. It my son learnt from this episode Cheers for your constructive review

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Lesson learned, indeed. Any child or adult would enjoy this poem. Simultaneously, the child learns right from wrong, and the consequences that follow when someone commits a wrong.

Your son can now share this story with his children. The lesson will be passed on from generation to generation.

Good luck in the contest.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017

Hi Poetic friend, Thanks for your review and Yes one day I hope he may share with his children Only just engaged LOL Cheers