Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Bonanza Gold"A short autobiography
18 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Good work again, mate. I like real stories even with lousy rewards hehe. No spags as far as I can tell. Hope you got away. Interesting picture you chose as well. Hope the knife has not cut you.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Good work again, mate. I like real stories even with lousy rewards hehe. No spags as far as I can tell. Hope you got away. Interesting picture you chose as well. Hope the knife has not cut you.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Brett,
This was a great follow-up to the previous chapter. You described the action of finding the knife in great & interesting detail.
I like how you wee able to include the Sword of Damocles in your story.
The action is intensifying & I am looking forward to the next installment. Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Brett,
This was a great follow-up to the previous chapter. You described the action of finding the knife in great & interesting detail.
I like how you wee able to include the Sword of Damocles in your story.
The action is intensifying & I am looking forward to the next installment. Jan
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from BeasPeas
Kids can get themselves into so much danger. Sometimes they realize it and sometimes they don't until years later. You, of course, were in a situation not of your own making--a kid on his own. As always your writing is clear and interesting. Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Kids can get themselves into so much danger. Sometimes they realize it and sometimes they don't until years later. You, of course, were in a situation not of your own making--a kid on his own. As always your writing is clear and interesting. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Always appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from JDRBAR
Okay, you kept me reading, and now I'm hooked. Your narrative is a little overboard at times but if that's all I can complain about, you're doing great. Look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Okay, you kept me reading, and now I'm hooked. Your narrative is a little overboard at times but if that's all I can complain about, you're doing great. Look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
More to come and I do invite you to follow along.
Comment from bookishfabler
It is amazing how one grows up. What amazes me, is how educated and well read you are. I have read many of your articles. Your dad had a great impact on you. Good for us.
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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It is amazing how one grows up. What amazes me, is how educated and well read you are. I have read many of your articles. Your dad had a great impact on you. Good for us.
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Yes, my Dad had a tremendous impact on me. So very true.
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
More to come and I invite you to come along for the ride.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Another interesting and tightly written chapter in your autobiography. It sounds like a lonely life for a little boy - but, it was also full of opportunities to live in a way few people ever experience.
Well plotted and highly entertaining,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Another interesting and tightly written chapter in your autobiography. It sounds like a lonely life for a little boy - but, it was also full of opportunities to live in a way few people ever experience.
Well plotted and highly entertaining,
~patty~
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come and I do invite you to come along for the ride.
Comment from Bill Schott
Your life of crime seems to stem from the desparate need to survive. That is what survivors do. As I read I noted some punctuation choices that you'll see upon another review need to be removed or corrected. One phrase I saw was "questionable countenances". If you're talking about the look on passersby's faces, I think it would be "questioning countenances".
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Your life of crime seems to stem from the desparate need to survive. That is what survivors do. As I read I noted some punctuation choices that you'll see upon another review need to be removed or corrected. One phrase I saw was "questionable countenances". If you're talking about the look on passersby's faces, I think it would be "questioning countenances".
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come and I do invite you to come along for the ride.
Comment from country ranch writer
Luckily the avoiding the hazards of rifling a poor mans pack reaped him a reward of the knife he has. The needles in stuff could have had dire con quenches if stuck. Luck was on his side I say off handily.escaping the law was another.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Luckily the avoiding the hazards of rifling a poor mans pack reaped him a reward of the knife he has. The needles in stuff could have had dire con quenches if stuck. Luck was on his side I say off handily.escaping the law was another.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come and I do invite you to come along for the ride.
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Will be waiting
Comment from Spitfire
Yuck! I can't imagine all those germs in the tramp's bag, but desperation overcomes any fear. Your story pulls me in with these details. Excellent use of dialogue to break up the narration.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Yuck! I can't imagine all those germs in the tramp's bag, but desperation overcomes any fear. Your story pulls me in with these details. Excellent use of dialogue to break up the narration.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come and I do invite you to ride along.
Comment from pome lover
Brett,
this is another well told addition to your story. Fascinating reading and always my amazement at your mental ascendancy in your life.
I think perhaps you don't like my suggestions, never-the-less I feel the need to say, in your first sentence, it would be better to say, "my primary target lay in...
and later, "his left cheek rested on his folded hands." Just suggestions.
I have been writing and critiquing for 20 years, so I tend to read as a "critiquer."
As I am a fan of yours, I read all your posts, which are wonderful. I know you write professionally, but I hope you will accept my input.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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Brett,
this is another well told addition to your story. Fascinating reading and always my amazement at your mental ascendancy in your life.
I think perhaps you don't like my suggestions, never-the-less I feel the need to say, in your first sentence, it would be better to say, "my primary target lay in...
and later, "his left cheek rested on his folded hands." Just suggestions.
I have been writing and critiquing for 20 years, so I tend to read as a "critiquer."
As I am a fan of yours, I read all your posts, which are wonderful. I know you write professionally, but I hope you will accept my input.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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Always appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Second suggestion noted and I did change to your recommendation.
My question about "lay": In order to keep the tense of the paragraph past, why would I use one present tense word "lay"?
I am receptive to an answer about that.
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lay is past tense. Lie is present.
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PS
thanks for your nice response!