Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This was a fine telling of what really happened to that scuff law, Goldilocks. It must have been rough on Baby Bear knowing he was the sole victim of the girls single unit crime wave. No food, busted chair, and a pee-stained mattress from a scared, sleeping housebreaker rudely awakened by bruins. Revenge served cold.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Don. I gotta say your story is awesome and it's not a wonder you should have won first place! It is inventive, funny as hell, and definitely comes with the crime don't pay stance. Don't worry I believe this and will never believe another version as long as I live! Thanks for a glorious story. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

This fun story read at a steady, jaunty pace. I didn't like the ending it delivered--yeah, yeah--I know. You can't please everyone.
I thought Goldilocks would suddenly get a bright idea and tell the bear that she was actually 'the tooth fairy'; give his tooth back with the bonus of the gold chain.
:)

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Thanks for your take on my Goldilocks, Curly Girly. I was afraid of that reaction, and I agree it may have been a bad decision.
I thought it made a funny, satori-like kicker.

Did you really want Goldilocks to tell such a big fib, and did you expect the bear to buy it after so many years? But considering the gold chain incentive, I guess maybe every bear has his price.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

I liked this piece and is a nice refreshing take on this old prompt.

There's a certain discord between saying Goldilocks had excellent genes and then branding her something of a dolt and dumb.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Hi Giraffmang, thanks for your take on the story. My Goldilocks is what you gather, but her professional success is thanks largely to her good looks (genes). Does that not work for you because you can't buy that unappealing combination of qualities?
I don't want her to be very likable to the reader, who I want to be amused by the way I dispatch her.

I'm interested in your opinion, and you do have me concerned. Thanks again.

reply by giraffmang on 29-Jun-2017

The discord I mention in that intelligence and 'smarts' can also be attributed to genes.

The story works, there's no worry there - I like it. I just thought the description of good genes is a little incongruent - it's not a big deal so I wouldn't worry. I don't think anyone else would even give it a second glance. I just mention things when they strike me.

reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017

Thanks for the reassurance! i breathe easier.