Memorial Wall
a satirical fable10 total reviews
Comment from hvysmker
As could be expected, Braden was awed by the height of the Washington Monument and the size of Lincoln sitting in his chair.
*** Actually, Lincoln's famous chair was showing wear and Buddhist graffiti back in 2023. It was secretly replaced by a new one the next year, leased from Trump & Sons Inc.
Your mother was one or two.
*** One or two Whats? If years old, say so. If one of two Trump supporters left ... don't.
Man had less than one term and no major accomplishments except for a wall he had built on our side of the Mexican border."
"Americans living there finally got smart and tore it down. Remembered what this country was founded on: freedom to come and go. We're a country of immigrants, Braden. Always have been, always will be. Those Martians who arrived last week would never have been allowed in if Trump were still president.
Fortunately, he got impeached and kicked out of the White House."
*** I think "was" would work better.
"Lies. Too many. Got caught but bought his way out of a prison term."
*** Show me a president that HASN'T lied to the public. I've been around since FDR and he often lied.
"If he was a bad man, who built that monument?"
Once upon a time that wall was bigger.
*** longer and larger?
After he died, his sons, daughter let it deteriorate.
*** ....sons and daughter let....."
Didn't want to be reminded of who their father was, I guess . . . But they're all broke now since Daddy never paid his taxes and the IRS took everything."
"Good. Obscurity is what that man deserves."
*** Him and Georgie "the Shrub" Bush. The draft dodger that made Commander in Chief.
Charlie.
Note: I don't review poetry for two reasons. I'm not interested. Also, I don't know the rules or types and am not interested to learn. No. I'm strictly prose.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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As could be expected, Braden was awed by the height of the Washington Monument and the size of Lincoln sitting in his chair.
*** Actually, Lincoln's famous chair was showing wear and Buddhist graffiti back in 2023. It was secretly replaced by a new one the next year, leased from Trump & Sons Inc.
Your mother was one or two.
*** One or two Whats? If years old, say so. If one of two Trump supporters left ... don't.
Man had less than one term and no major accomplishments except for a wall he had built on our side of the Mexican border."
"Americans living there finally got smart and tore it down. Remembered what this country was founded on: freedom to come and go. We're a country of immigrants, Braden. Always have been, always will be. Those Martians who arrived last week would never have been allowed in if Trump were still president.
Fortunately, he got impeached and kicked out of the White House."
*** I think "was" would work better.
"Lies. Too many. Got caught but bought his way out of a prison term."
*** Show me a president that HASN'T lied to the public. I've been around since FDR and he often lied.
"If he was a bad man, who built that monument?"
Once upon a time that wall was bigger.
*** longer and larger?
After he died, his sons, daughter let it deteriorate.
*** ....sons and daughter let....."
Didn't want to be reminded of who their father was, I guess . . . But they're all broke now since Daddy never paid his taxes and the IRS took everything."
"Good. Obscurity is what that man deserves."
*** Him and Georgie "the Shrub" Bush. The draft dodger that made Commander in Chief.
Charlie.
Note: I don't review poetry for two reasons. I'm not interested. Also, I don't know the rules or types and am not interested to learn. No. I'm strictly prose.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Charlie, for taking the TIME to read and review my satirical story. I truly enjoyed your comments and suggestions. Rod
Comment from Thesis
I enjoyed your story. I was surprised that there was still a USA after his presidency though.
Good use of truth and some tongue-in-cheek words. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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I enjoyed your story. I was surprised that there was still a USA after his presidency though.
Good use of truth and some tongue-in-cheek words. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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I am so delighted you took this fable for what I intended--tongue-in-cheek commentary of our times. Thank you for sharing it and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from BeasPeas
Your piece is interesting and well written, although I don't agree with it at all. People can come, but like any good guest, they must be invited or ask permission to enter and be accepted. I guess you are unaware that Obama voted for the wall, too. The cost of the wall will pay for itself in not having to pay for education, medical, and social services. You may not remember, but immigrants used to have to be sponsored by a relative or friend and have a trade to sustain themselves before they could come into the country. This assured newcomers would not be a drain on the system. Not a bad thing. People think all this stuff is free, but that grandson you speak of will end up paying for it. Our grandkids are already on the hook for our self-indulgent overspending. Marilyn
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Your piece is interesting and well written, although I don't agree with it at all. People can come, but like any good guest, they must be invited or ask permission to enter and be accepted. I guess you are unaware that Obama voted for the wall, too. The cost of the wall will pay for itself in not having to pay for education, medical, and social services. You may not remember, but immigrants used to have to be sponsored by a relative or friend and have a trade to sustain themselves before they could come into the country. This assured newcomers would not be a drain on the system. Not a bad thing. People think all this stuff is free, but that grandson you speak of will end up paying for it. Our grandkids are already on the hook for our self-indulgent overspending. Marilyn
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Marilyn, for reviewing my fable. This contest has taught me to NOT write about politics in the future. Rod
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You are so right (no pun intended) that political writes are offensive to many people. One half of our audience will be ticked off and other half will applaud if preaching to the choir. Members on this site add plenty of fuel to the already out of control fire when we should be concentrating on unification.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
A very fine entry indeed for this competition. now if only this too comes to pass...
we studied about manyof the presidents- stick a space in there between many and of.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Hi there,
A very fine entry indeed for this competition. now if only this too comes to pass...
we studied about manyof the presidents- stick a space in there between many and of.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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My fable is not popular with some FanStorians. I am delighted you enjoyed it and appreciate your kind praise.
Comment from Margaret Ford
Great tale, and I hope it comes true. I think you'll do well in the contest.
One more thing:
You're missing a space between "many" and "of" in the following sentence:
"In my history class this year we studied about manyof the presidents."
Margaret
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Great tale, and I hope it comes true. I think you'll do well in the contest.
One more thing:
You're missing a space between "many" and "of" in the following sentence:
"In my history class this year we studied about manyof the presidents."
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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I, too, hope my fable comes true, but have been rebuked by some FanStorians. Thanks so much for sharing and your kind praise, Margaret.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a fable-like story with a moral that Americans will not be deceived for long; In the story, a grandson asks grandpa who is Trump; there is no good answer; grandson confirms in history book there is no mention of president Trump as there is no wall, no memorial; I liked.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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This speaks a fable-like story with a moral that Americans will not be deceived for long; In the story, a grandson asks grandpa who is Trump; there is no good answer; grandson confirms in history book there is no mention of president Trump as there is no wall, no memorial; I liked.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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I am delighted you like my satirical fable. Thanks for sharing.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Just think, one day your children will have the privilege of visiting the Trump monument. By that time, even you will admit what a great man he is. Happy visiting.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Just think, one day your children will have the privilege of visiting the Trump monument. By that time, even you will admit what a great man he is. Happy visiting.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Thomas, for sharing my fable.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a fable with a great moral and seems to be filled with the wisdom of the forefathers. You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can't pretend you're a President when you're clearly not.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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This is a fable with a great moral and seems to be filled with the wisdom of the forefathers. You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can't pretend you're a President when you're clearly not.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thank you for sharing my satirical fable, Bill. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Mustang Patty
So deserving of my last six for the week!!! Hurrah. A story I can get behind. A story that gives me hope. If only... Won't it be great to see it all come crashing down?
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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So deserving of my last six for the week!!! Hurrah. A story I can get behind. A story that gives me hope. If only... Won't it be great to see it all come crashing down?
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Ah, I am delighted my fable gives you hope, patty. Thanks for sharing it and your wonderful praise and those six bright stars.
Comment from emptypage
I love this story. No, really. I LOVE this story. You deserve a metal. I will vote for you. I'm not even going to post my own entry now. This is amazing. It is ... it should be everywhere.
I hope Braden gets to hear a very different story, but I think you've nailed it.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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I love this story. No, really. I LOVE this story. You deserve a metal. I will vote for you. I'm not even going to post my own entry now. This is amazing. It is ... it should be everywhere.
I hope Braden gets to hear a very different story, but I think you've nailed it.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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I am delighted you approve of my fable and think it deserves a medal. I appreciate your very kind praise and endorsement and love the bonus of those six stars.
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*medal* Ugh. I gotta stop these late-night reviews.
