The Spirit and the Tide
Describing the ups and downs of life.20 total reviews
Comment from royowen
An excellent work, using the surge of tide and the irrepressible fluid metaphor for the recurrence of the tidal forces to reinforce one's helplessness of life's circumstance. Beautifully written in very descriptive imagery, expressed in articulate free verse, poetically well crafted and scribed presentation, well done, blessings, Roy
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An excellent work, using the surge of tide and the irrepressible fluid metaphor for the recurrence of the tidal forces to reinforce one's helplessness of life's circumstance. Beautifully written in very descriptive imagery, expressed in articulate free verse, poetically well crafted and scribed presentation, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, ironically we have something in common, Alice.
I too am a lover of life and poetry, not necessarily in that particular order.
But, I guess that's why we're both here.
It truly is a small, small world, isn't it?
And just before he breaks her,
he will once again spit her back onto the lonely beach.
Rise and fall, hope and fear, peace and pain,
these are the rhythms of her spirit. ... Lovely poem.
Best of luck on all of your future writing endeavors.
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Hey, ironically we have something in common, Alice.
I too am a lover of life and poetry, not necessarily in that particular order.
But, I guess that's why we're both here.
It truly is a small, small world, isn't it?
And just before he breaks her,
he will once again spit her back onto the lonely beach.
Rise and fall, hope and fear, peace and pain,
these are the rhythms of her spirit. ... Lovely poem.
Best of luck on all of your future writing endeavors.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
I think the "her" in this is the ocean and the tides are a different personification. This is actually quite a difficult concept to grasp as the tides are only manifest to use by reference to the ocean.
The resultant turmoil in the reader's mind is perhaps what the poet intended here. To mimic the turmoil at the water's edge where the effect of the tide, to the landsman at least is most apparent. The sailor sees things so differently. To him the tide is merely a form of current that pulls him in one direction, usually for six hours and then in the opposite direction for the next six hours.
Another possibility is that the spirit is that of the land in its struggle with thev seas attempts to inundate it and then to leave it high and dry. The struggle is apparent and graphically so, I just wish the dichotomy were sorted out.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
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I think the "her" in this is the ocean and the tides are a different personification. This is actually quite a difficult concept to grasp as the tides are only manifest to use by reference to the ocean.
The resultant turmoil in the reader's mind is perhaps what the poet intended here. To mimic the turmoil at the water's edge where the effect of the tide, to the landsman at least is most apparent. The sailor sees things so differently. To him the tide is merely a form of current that pulls him in one direction, usually for six hours and then in the opposite direction for the next six hours.
Another possibility is that the spirit is that of the land in its struggle with thev seas attempts to inundate it and then to leave it high and dry. The struggle is apparent and graphically so, I just wish the dichotomy were sorted out.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
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I could not agree with you more. I felt the same way after writing the poem, but I couldn't figure out who to fix it because it came out so quickly and exactly. I think it is flawed. I can tell by your review that you have a very amazing writing brain. Thank you for the honest and insightful critique as well as your compliments.
Comment from Janet Foor
A well written and emotional poem. Perfect picture to accompany this piece.
An excellent analogy with vivid imagery and display of feelings.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
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A well written and emotional poem. Perfect picture to accompany this piece.
An excellent analogy with vivid imagery and display of feelings.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
Comment from Ann Philips
This poem is disquieting. The sense of being torn and the ebb and flow of peace and violence is demonstrated in both the words and construction of the poem. Many lines seem angry and harsh which certainly is an image the ocean can offer. The human struggle being symbolized is what makes it so disquieting.
The words indicating violence and struggle are much stronger than those suggesting peaceful moments.
The line,"whispering rhythmically in her ear", is the only soothing moment. You've created a very emotionally demanding poem.
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This poem is disquieting. The sense of being torn and the ebb and flow of peace and violence is demonstrated in both the words and construction of the poem. Many lines seem angry and harsh which certainly is an image the ocean can offer. The human struggle being symbolized is what makes it so disquieting.
The words indicating violence and struggle are much stronger than those suggesting peaceful moments.
The line,"whispering rhythmically in her ear", is the only soothing moment. You've created a very emotionally demanding poem.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
Comment from Kerry Foley
This is an awesome poem, my friend. I can totally relate to it. you have so many wonderful lines. I would have to say my favorites are, "With cadence, the pulsing waters creep back into the distance", and ' rip her into his wild, rushing waves.
He will crash her against his rocks", it is just so dramatic. ~Kerry
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This is an awesome poem, my friend. I can totally relate to it. you have so many wonderful lines. I would have to say my favorites are, "With cadence, the pulsing waters creep back into the distance", and ' rip her into his wild, rushing waves.
He will crash her against his rocks", it is just so dramatic. ~Kerry
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
Comment from estory
I liked how the language kind of rose and fell in swells through the lines of this piece, how the waves of sounds crashed against rocks and threw themselves on the sand, breaking up the spirit and reassembling it. you get a sense of that endless contrast between reaching out and pulling away, the approaches of relationships and the distances in them, and the metaphor of the sea and the land was good for that. interesting estory
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I liked how the language kind of rose and fell in swells through the lines of this piece, how the waves of sounds crashed against rocks and threw themselves on the sand, breaking up the spirit and reassembling it. you get a sense of that endless contrast between reaching out and pulling away, the approaches of relationships and the distances in them, and the metaphor of the sea and the land was good for that. interesting estory
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
Comment from dmt1967
I like the picture of the waves as they lap towards a beach or some rocks and the soft poem that accompanied the picture. This poem is written for this picture. Thank you for sharing.
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I like the picture of the waves as they lap towards a beach or some rocks and the soft poem that accompanied the picture. This poem is written for this picture. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
Comment from Rasmine
Very good poem. Is this a special format, like a prose poem? If not, could I suggest that you break it into stanzas so it is easier to read? For example:
With cadence (comma) the pulsing waters creep back into the distance, each hissing lunge of the nautical hand a little less frightening than the last, until the roll of the cowering tide becomes a metronome, whispering rhythmically in her ear.
With cadence, the pulsing water
creep into the distance
each hissing lunge of the nautical hand
a little less frightening than the last
until the roll of the cowering tide
becomes a metronome
whispering rhythmically in her ear.
(but it's your poem, and this is my favoritie part!)
TC
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Very good poem. Is this a special format, like a prose poem? If not, could I suggest that you break it into stanzas so it is easier to read? For example:
With cadence (comma) the pulsing waters creep back into the distance, each hissing lunge of the nautical hand a little less frightening than the last, until the roll of the cowering tide becomes a metronome, whispering rhythmically in her ear.
With cadence, the pulsing water
creep into the distance
each hissing lunge of the nautical hand
a little less frightening than the last
until the roll of the cowering tide
becomes a metronome
whispering rhythmically in her ear.
(but it's your poem, and this is my favoritie part!)
TC
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
Comment from June Sargent
A lovely and profound statement on the rhythm of life - with all its ups and downs. We do not have control of events in our lives - anymore than we can control the tides. But we can find its rhythm, go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Well done.
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A lovely and profound statement on the rhythm of life - with all its ups and downs. We do not have control of events in our lives - anymore than we can control the tides. But we can find its rhythm, go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
