The Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Letter - Part Five"...a family saga
47 total reviews
Comment from crich
Wouldn't we all like this kind of "instant karma" to rain down on our real-life adversaries! Unfortunately, we rarely get to see justice in our own families until long after the initial hurts- if ever. You did this situation justice by pointing out not only the perceived 'crimes' of each daughter, but the original judgement of the mother who set the gold standard for the judgements of her daughters and their judgements of Kathy. Self-righteousness is a bitter family trait that is hard to break!
Your writing was clear and the scene was visually illustrated with just the right words. I'm unclear about the designations of dashes and the @ symbols between the point-of-view changes. They were a distraction for the editor in me. The changes are clear with out them as the point of view of the narrator, however, you can easily fix that if you wanted to maintain Kathy's point of view as witness to their reactions. Just as you told us what was in each of their letters when they spoke up during the family portrait. All in all, I loved it!!!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Wouldn't we all like this kind of "instant karma" to rain down on our real-life adversaries! Unfortunately, we rarely get to see justice in our own families until long after the initial hurts- if ever. You did this situation justice by pointing out not only the perceived 'crimes' of each daughter, but the original judgement of the mother who set the gold standard for the judgements of her daughters and their judgements of Kathy. Self-righteousness is a bitter family trait that is hard to break!
Your writing was clear and the scene was visually illustrated with just the right words. I'm unclear about the designations of dashes and the @ symbols between the point-of-view changes. They were a distraction for the editor in me. The changes are clear with out them as the point of view of the narrator, however, you can easily fix that if you wanted to maintain Kathy's point of view as witness to their reactions. Just as you told us what was in each of their letters when they spoke up during the family portrait. All in all, I loved it!!!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for your thorough and concise review. I'm glad you appreciated the family dynamics and the mechanics I used to express the past. As for the point of view changes, I added them for the readers who expressed their trouble with the ever changing point of view. I, too, like the piece to stand on its own - I think I used the right language to switch between the characters.
Thank your for reading and your kind words of encouragement. I greatly appreciate it,
~patty~
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I agree - I had no problem with the changes in view!
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A great chapter. I'm amazed that you write without errors. My writing is so full of spags that it's practically unreadable until my readers correct it.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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A great chapter. I'm amazed that you write without errors. My writing is so full of spags that it's practically unreadable until my readers correct it.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Thomas; I do occasionally have spags - the first two readers (usually one of them is the G-Man) catch the nits and I edit them as soon as they are pointed out.
Thank you for the compliment though - I greatly appreciate it,
~patty~
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She had a beatific [beautiful]smile for the crowd.
This was a very interesting story Patty. This family was very dysfunctional. Every family has a little bit of jealousy but there is usually a certain amount of love too. The mother handled the situation with wisdom and grace. Well done my friend. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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She had a beatific [beautiful]smile for the crowd.
This was a very interesting story Patty. This family was very dysfunctional. Every family has a little bit of jealousy but there is usually a certain amount of love too. The mother handled the situation with wisdom and grace. Well done my friend. Nancy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Nancy; thank you so much for continuing to read the entire saga. I'm actually going to miss these characters, but I'm only putting them away until I have the time to expand this into a novel - there is so much more of the story and history of the family to tell!
~patty~
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Good, Sounds interesting.
Comment from His Grayness
Amazing indeed with such profound and complex twists of events and constant wonder draped over the reader from start to finish! I cannot suggest a single thing to improve this in any way and offer my best wishes and thanks to this author for a great read! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Amazing indeed with such profound and complex twists of events and constant wonder draped over the reader from start to finish! I cannot suggest a single thing to improve this in any way and offer my best wishes and thanks to this author for a great read! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Vance; oh, thank you so much for this lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I hope you will follow along when I get to my next project. (As of yet, I have zero ideas.)
You are one of my biggest fans!
~patty~
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! Loud applause! The audience rises to their feet! Superb ending to a terrific story. You brought the characters to life. The realism was at times hard to take, for those sisters were worse than Cinderella's step sisters. :)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Bravo! Loud applause! The audience rises to their feet! Superb ending to a terrific story. You brought the characters to life. The realism was at times hard to take, for those sisters were worse than Cinderella's step sisters. :)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Phyllis; thank you so much for this wonderful review. I so appreciate you reading through the entire saga and I came to rely on your words of encouragement.
I'm kind of sorry to say goodbye to these characters; they were so much fun to write!
~patty~
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I know what you mean. We all have favorite "people" in our books. :)
Comment from Rasmine
This was quite a ride, my dear! When I began reading, I had a feeling that the person in the wheelchair was her -- and I was right!
I can't wait to see what you come up with next. :)
Happy Father's Day to the fathers in your family. :)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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This was quite a ride, my dear! When I began reading, I had a feeling that the person in the wheelchair was her -- and I was right!
I can't wait to see what you come up with next. :)
Happy Father's Day to the fathers in your family. :)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for reading along with the saga, Rasmine. I appreciate your time and your kind words.
I'm kind of sorry to say goodbye to these characters; they were so much fun to write!
~patty~
Comment from JDRBAR
Fabulous conclusion. I only have one thing to say...Kathy went into the bathroom before the family ate, or went to the bar. When she came out, the mother was being wheeled in. Either Kathy was in the bathroom much longer than I thought, or you jumped the gun to get to Jane. Either way, I loved the story from beginning to end and will possibly send a copy to each of my remaining children to let them know what to expect from me if and when I ever die. I seriously doubt they'll even acknowledge my death.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Fabulous conclusion. I only have one thing to say...Kathy went into the bathroom before the family ate, or went to the bar. When she came out, the mother was being wheeled in. Either Kathy was in the bathroom much longer than I thought, or you jumped the gun to get to Jane. Either way, I loved the story from beginning to end and will possibly send a copy to each of my remaining children to let them know what to expect from me if and when I ever die. I seriously doubt they'll even acknowledge my death.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi; I do so appreciate your warm and encouraging review. I appreciate the support you gave me throughout the saga.
Did you read the argument that ensued in the lady's room? That was where Kathy was until she came back into the banquet room and found the veiled figure at the front of the room.
I'm sorry your children are so rude to you - sending them this story will do them good!
~patty~
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written finale. It is always a better option to be kind than to be rude and selfish. Our relationship with others and especially with our in-laws say a lot about our inner character.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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A very well-written finale. It is always a better option to be kind than to be rude and selfish. Our relationship with others and especially with our in-laws say a lot about our inner character.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Sandra; thank you so much for reading along with this story until the end. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and great support.
I'm kind of sorry to say goodbye to these characters; they were so much fun to write!
~patty~
Comment from smerryman3
A lovely ending! It was extremely satisfying to see all the characters get what they deserved. Also nice to see Jane taking responsibility for her part of the fiasco. I would love to read a full length novel of tjis story. I really enjoyed it!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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A lovely ending! It was extremely satisfying to see all the characters get what they deserved. Also nice to see Jane taking responsibility for her part of the fiasco. I would love to read a full length novel of tjis story. I really enjoyed it!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for seeing this saga all the way through to the end. Along with the other projects I've got in the works, I do believe I will put together a longer version of the story and build on these characters.
I do appreciate your review and comments,
~patty~
Comment from c_lucas
The mother got her what she wished for. She had put her children in their right places. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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The mother got her what she wished for. She had put her children in their right places. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading the saga all the way through. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I appreciate your kind words of encouragement,
~patty~
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You're welcome, Patty. Charlie
