The Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Letter - Part Five"...a family saga
47 total reviews
Comment from royowen
What a satisfying end to a great little story. It's hard to write unless we're actually in a situation familiar to us, and although your characters were fictional, you alluded to being well aware of dysfunctionality, and have probably played out these scenes. But still it takes great skill to play out in words the perceived imaginary on paper. So well done, I enjoyed these episodes, and really the creative ending episode. And apart from Agnes, they were unrepentant, well done, Patty. Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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What a satisfying end to a great little story. It's hard to write unless we're actually in a situation familiar to us, and although your characters were fictional, you alluded to being well aware of dysfunctionality, and have probably played out these scenes. But still it takes great skill to play out in words the perceived imaginary on paper. So well done, I enjoyed these episodes, and really the creative ending episode. And apart from Agnes, they were unrepentant, well done, Patty. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi Roy; thank you so much for the wonderful review. I appreciate the EXCEPTIONAL rating on this piece and your kind words about the entire saga. This was such a fun write - I got to play out the scenes the way I'd always imagined!
Your encouragement and support means a great deal to me,
~patty~
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Well earned and welcome
Comment from kathleenspalding
Hoho! I bet there are plenty of families who'd like to see this happen in real life! Great chapter and nice to see everyone get 'what they deserved'.
...her heart (beating rapidly - pounding? fluttering?)
Need a scene break between Caressa and Agnes pov.
(Re: What it took to get them together) Yeah, news of her death and a hundred grand, LOL!
Last sentence - maybe delete '''and into their future"? (more dramatic?)
Great story! I enjoyed it very much. Hope you have developed a thick skin to protect you from your in-laws! All the best.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hoho! I bet there are plenty of families who'd like to see this happen in real life! Great chapter and nice to see everyone get 'what they deserved'.
...her heart (beating rapidly - pounding? fluttering?)
Need a scene break between Caressa and Agnes pov.
(Re: What it took to get them together) Yeah, news of her death and a hundred grand, LOL!
Last sentence - maybe delete '''and into their future"? (more dramatic?)
Great story! I enjoyed it very much. Hope you have developed a thick skin to protect you from your in-laws! All the best.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for your thorough and concise review. You know, since I haven't been around my in-laws for over fifteen years, I haven't had to develop thick skin. Now, it only the check for a hundred grand would show up!
I'm glad you enjoyed the saga through to the end,
~patty~
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Hahaha! It would be fun to spend - I hope your novel brings it in for you!
Comment from Asem.inspirations
This was an exceptional story, Patty. I really enjoyed reading it and I am so relieved that Jane told her pitiful children off and expressed her gratitude for Kathy and Doug.
I have lived this story minus the money. My mother-in-law did not bite her tongue about how much more she appreciated me and the help that I gave her. Her children could not stand me or the fact that i was so important to their mother but we were so important and necessary for each other.
I think anyone who reads this story will love it as much as I did. Wonderful...and yes, it deserves a six star as it is extraordinary.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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This was an exceptional story, Patty. I really enjoyed reading it and I am so relieved that Jane told her pitiful children off and expressed her gratitude for Kathy and Doug.
I have lived this story minus the money. My mother-in-law did not bite her tongue about how much more she appreciated me and the help that I gave her. Her children could not stand me or the fact that i was so important to their mother but we were so important and necessary for each other.
I think anyone who reads this story will love it as much as I did. Wonderful...and yes, it deserves a six star as it is extraordinary.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi Tier; thank you so much for the lovely review of this final part of the saga. I'm so glad you were with me through to the end, and I especially appreciate the lovely stars.
You have made my day, and I hope you will follow my next offering (of which I have NO idea.)
~patty~
Comment from lyenochka
Great story, Patty! I knew it had great promise from the beginning. I know families who are much more dysfunctional. I think the mother's condemnation of her daughters should have focused much more on their hatefulness rather than their lifestyle or their disorganization or poor laundry habits.
minor points:
"that were of the upmost interest." (utmost) see http://grammarist.com/usage/upmost-utmost/
appaling (appalling)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Great story, Patty! I knew it had great promise from the beginning. I know families who are much more dysfunctional. I think the mother's condemnation of her daughters should have focused much more on their hatefulness rather than their lifestyle or their disorganization or poor laundry habits.
minor points:
"that were of the upmost interest." (utmost) see http://grammarist.com/usage/upmost-utmost/
appaling (appalling)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. I'm glad you enjoyed this saga - Jane was a strange combination of my own mother and mother-in-law. They were both far more interested in housekeeping and appearances than the hatefulness in the hearts of their children.
I have made the edits you pointed out - thank you for your invaluable input,
~patty~
Comment from Lindagail Hall
I have to give you six stars I rarely do this unless I read something great. I thought she Jane hadn't died but I kept loosing my comment page, one tad thing I thought maybe jane would have said " you knew I didn't take fools lightly that's how we say it in uk I thought you planned out this plot very tightly that's a good thing. I really did enjoy these episodes and still think you should make this into book form I was taught in school a story should always have three parts the start, the middle and an end you made all three. Great job.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I have to give you six stars I rarely do this unless I read something great. I thought she Jane hadn't died but I kept loosing my comment page, one tad thing I thought maybe jane would have said " you knew I didn't take fools lightly that's how we say it in uk I thought you planned out this plot very tightly that's a good thing. I really did enjoy these episodes and still think you should make this into book form I was taught in school a story should always have three parts the start, the middle and an end you made all three. Great job.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I am truly honored that you chose to give me a six star rating - especially when you rarely do. This saga was one of those stories that was a great deal of fun to pen, and I worked much harder on it than I have on some of my other stories.
I am taking your advice, as well as a few others, to turn this into a novel. I will probably post it on FanStory when I'm finished with it. It probably won't be for two years, so I can revive the existing chapters, though they will be greatly expanded.
Thank you so much for your support of my writing,
~patty~
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Enjoyed all segments and real life is like these characters of yours, I've heard some shocking stories when someone's parents die the arguments and greed sad to see. I'll be holding you to account on the full novel in two years time.
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Challenge ACCEPTED!
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Lol. I'll keep you to that. I know you can do it.
Comment from Teri7
Patty, This was very well written. You used very good descriptive wording and dialogue. I felt as if I was there each time I would read what someone had said. Great job. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Patty, This was very well written. You used very good descriptive wording and dialogue. I felt as if I was there each time I would read what someone had said. Great job. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi Teri; thank you so much for the lovely review. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this saga, and I think I have gotten over my fear of dialogue! I appreciate your continued support of my work,
~patty~
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello there friend I really enjoyed reading this piece it is beautifully written and the irony is with me because I feel like I know these characters are that these characters have been in part of my life thank you so much for sharing this
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hello there friend I really enjoyed reading this piece it is beautifully written and the irony is with me because I feel like I know these characters are that these characters have been in part of my life thank you so much for sharing this
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi there; it isn't surprising to me that so many people expressed the thought that this could be the family they are surrounded by. I'm glad you enjoyed the story line and I hope my next project will be as widely accepted.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful review,
~patty~
Comment from Bichon
What an interesting piece. Due to my absence on Fanstory, I am very behind and have not read the past four pieces. I will catch up very soon, can't wait to read the rest.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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What an interesting piece. Due to my absence on Fanstory, I am very behind and have not read the past four pieces. I will catch up very soon, can't wait to read the rest.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi Chloe; I'm glad you caught this part. Part Four is still promoted, but the first three parts aren't. I think you will enjoy the family saga.
Hope your tests are going well,
~patty~
Comment from doggymad
You have done great work with this Patty. I think many people would like to stage their own funeral for just this reason.
Looking forward to your next work already
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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You have done great work with this Patty. I think many people would like to stage their own funeral for just this reason.
Looking forward to your next work already
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi Freda; thank you so much for continuing to read the saga through the end of the story. I think it would be wonderful to stage a funeral - imagine the looks on peoples' faces when they realize you are alive and you heard everything that was said!
Your support during this project was greatly appreciated,
~patty~
Comment from dovemarie
Dear patty, What a great story and saga! I enjoyed reading every bit of it. I don't have a family myself, my sister and brother blamed me for everything and stopped speaking to me years ago. What a surprising ending - that "Jane" was still alive and she arranged her own funeral so that she could see all the family and "sock it to them." Dove
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Dear patty, What a great story and saga! I enjoyed reading every bit of it. I don't have a family myself, my sister and brother blamed me for everything and stopped speaking to me years ago. What a surprising ending - that "Jane" was still alive and she arranged her own funeral so that she could see all the family and "sock it to them." Dove
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi Dove; thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and giving me great support during this process.
I'm glad you enjoyed the ending and I understand where you are with your family - I'm right there with you!
~patty~
