The Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Letter - Part One"...a family saga
51 total reviews
Comment from Rlegel99
Interesting start to the story. Great attention grabber. The dialogue is believable and flows well. Like how you separated letter content and narrator thoughts by color.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017
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Interesting start to the story. Great attention grabber. The dialogue is believable and flows well. Like how you separated letter content and narrator thoughts by color.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad you have started the story, and I hope you will continue along with the saga. I just posted Part Four, and the story will conclude with Part Five.
~patty~
Comment from kathleenspalding
OOooo! Mysterious fun! I see you've avoided past perfect, which is a good thing considering how much you'd have to use it.
....peephole instead of keyhole
Pushing a (stylus instead of pen)...
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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OOooo! Mysterious fun! I see you've avoided past perfect, which is a good thing considering how much you'd have to use it.
....peephole instead of keyhole
Pushing a (stylus instead of pen)...
Comment Written 12-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi Kathleen; thank you for going back and reading the entire series. I appreciate your suggestions, and I've incorporated them into the story,
~patty~
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You're welcome :-)
Comment from thonnigford09
if I had the six stars left, you would receive one. exciting story. Sorry I read the second installment first. Did you mean 50 or 100K???? In the second chapter I think its 100K. Anyway, I would recommend this!!!! Good job. Theresa.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2017
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if I had the six stars left, you would receive one. exciting story. Sorry I read the second installment first. Did you mean 50 or 100K???? In the second chapter I think its 100K. Anyway, I would recommend this!!!! Good job. Theresa.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2017
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Hi. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I increased it to $100k and made a note in authors notes. I realized I needed more money to cover things.
I'm glad you liked the story.
-patty
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thx patty... I will try to read author's notes more carefully. thx again, theresa
Comment from frierajac
This is well done and reads as if it were a personal experience. I can identity with the protagonist easily and imagine this happening in my own life. I like the letter
and stamp illustration idea.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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This is well done and reads as if it were a personal experience. I can identity with the protagonist easily and imagine this happening in my own life. I like the letter
and stamp illustration idea.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for reading this crazy story. It only gets better from here, I promise,
~patty~
Comment from estory
This is kind of mysterious, especially in the beginning, and at the end we have to wonder why this woman behaved why she did, why did she have such a change of heart, and why is she so obsessed with this image of her family together at her funeral? This seems to be a case of someone who was not very emotionally attached during life and now regrets it at the end. but the questions are raised, we have to await the answers. estory
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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This is kind of mysterious, especially in the beginning, and at the end we have to wonder why this woman behaved why she did, why did she have such a change of heart, and why is she so obsessed with this image of her family together at her funeral? This seems to be a case of someone who was not very emotionally attached during life and now regrets it at the end. but the questions are raised, we have to await the answers. estory
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Hi estory; Part two is already posted and it may give you some answers, but everything will be clear by the time this 'mini series' is finished.
I appreciate your time to read and review,
~patty~
Comment from dweigt
Good work! I like how you describe her surprise and confusion, from the unexpected knock at the door to the surprising contents of the envelope.
A cashiers' check for fifty thousand dollars made out to me lay on top of the letter. -- I read the second part before this one, and saw in your comments you were changing this to $100,000.
But, she spent most of our time together putting me down. -- Do you need the "But" at the beginning?
The money I included for you is to make sure everyone can attend. I don't want money to be the reason someone can't come to the service. Buy airplane tickets and hotel accommodations. Pay for their meals, and nice clothes if they need them. (I want everyone to look nice.) Oh, and please have the photographer I've arranged for to get a nice family picture, and then make sure everyone gets a copy.-- Nice is used three times here. Normally I would say you should avoid the repetition, but maybe your character talks like that. Just pointing it out for your consideration.
I'm wondering about how the letter actually got sent. Obviously she didn't send it. Was it on file with her lawyer, or some friend? In that case, if it was in storage for some time, would the perfume still be strong enough to "assault" her? Maybe you explain this somewhere else.
Looking forward to more. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Good work! I like how you describe her surprise and confusion, from the unexpected knock at the door to the surprising contents of the envelope.
A cashiers' check for fifty thousand dollars made out to me lay on top of the letter. -- I read the second part before this one, and saw in your comments you were changing this to $100,000.
But, she spent most of our time together putting me down. -- Do you need the "But" at the beginning?
The money I included for you is to make sure everyone can attend. I don't want money to be the reason someone can't come to the service. Buy airplane tickets and hotel accommodations. Pay for their meals, and nice clothes if they need them. (I want everyone to look nice.) Oh, and please have the photographer I've arranged for to get a nice family picture, and then make sure everyone gets a copy.-- Nice is used three times here. Normally I would say you should avoid the repetition, but maybe your character talks like that. Just pointing it out for your consideration.
I'm wondering about how the letter actually got sent. Obviously she didn't send it. Was it on file with her lawyer, or some friend? In that case, if it was in storage for some time, would the perfume still be strong enough to "assault" her? Maybe you explain this somewhere else.
Looking forward to more. Keep writing!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for your thorough and concise review. I appreciate your questions and will attempt to answer them while not giving anything away; the continued 'nice' is part of the mother-in-law's vernacular. As far as the letter and its arrival, you will see more about this later,
~patty~
Comment from Leena
Quite an intriguing introduction to an amazing fiction in the making.. This I think is a sad state of affairs everywhere; people don't speak their minds or hearts in time...Sometimes it gets too late and the damage caused of silence can't be undone.. Great work dear!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Quite an intriguing introduction to an amazing fiction in the making.. This I think is a sad state of affairs everywhere; people don't speak their minds or hearts in time...Sometimes it gets too late and the damage caused of silence can't be undone.. Great work dear!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Hi again, Leena. There is a 'prequel' to the story. I entitle it 'The Old Lady,' and its still available in my portfolio. It will give you a better insight into the thoughts of the deceased.
Thank you so much for reading,
~patty~
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Oh yes I remember! 85 years old.. if I,m not wrong... I'll check again though on your portfolio.
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Yup! That's the one - it was the beginning of my thought process on this one,
~p~
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Yes I remember, you had mentioned about coming up with a fiction on that...I had reviewed that write up too.. found it pretty interesting! Great work..as always! Regards.
Comment from Teri7
This is the first chapter I am finally reading. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it very much! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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This is the first chapter I am finally reading. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it very much! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 06-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Hi Teri; thank you so much for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story line,
~patty~
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great story Patty, and I'm glad I'm behind in my reviewing that I can go straight to part 2.It's sad that Kathy didn't know how much Jane thought of her when she needed that support. Good human emotions at play here, and very believable.
Well done,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Great story Patty, and I'm glad I'm behind in my reviewing that I can go straight to part 2.It's sad that Kathy didn't know how much Jane thought of her when she needed that support. Good human emotions at play here, and very believable.
Well done,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 06-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Hi Valda; thank you so much for the lovely review. I hope you enjoy part two. I will get the series finished by the beginning of next week; I hope you will be willing to come along for the 'wild' ride,
~patty~
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Intriguing story, a mystery and I am about to read the next chapter in this story! I enjoyed your descriptions and the letter with your thoughts in between, very good, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Intriguing story, a mystery and I am about to read the next chapter in this story! I enjoyed your descriptions and the letter with your thoughts in between, very good, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Hi Dolly; thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this part and went ahead to read along. There should be three more parts and then the tale will be told. I hope you enjoy it,
~patty~
