2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "senryu (minuscule)"A collection of Japanese poetry
35 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh, my yes. We are all so very important. From the blade of grass blowing on the prairie, to the prisoner waiting on death row. No one is without purpose, if not found in this life, surely in the next. Beautiful, blessings...
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
  |
Oh, my yes. We are all so very important. From the blade of grass blowing on the prairie, to the prisoner waiting on death row. No one is without purpose, if not found in this life, surely in the next. Beautiful, blessings...
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :)
Gypsy
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello, my friend, this is well written I think you used 16 syllables but not sure of the pronunciation of some words this poem to me has a spiritual feel although about nature beautifully presented well-done regards Jill
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
Hello, my friend, this is well written I think you used 16 syllables but not sure of the pronunciation of some words this poem to me has a spiritual feel although about nature beautifully presented well-done regards Jill
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :)
Gypsy
Comment from Sanku
True .Seas and oceans have this kind of effect on me too.I feel very small and the question of my significance comes up in my mind.In "Moby Dick"there is a scene where Captain Ahab standing on the deck and staring into the sea feels one tear drop running down his cheek and falling into the ocean.he despairs that he to the Universe is this tear to the ocean.I read the book (or rather ploughed through it ) decades back and this scene remains in my mind still.
good presentation.it did evoke memories in me
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
True .Seas and oceans have this kind of effect on me too.I feel very small and the question of my significance comes up in my mind.In "Moby Dick"there is a scene where Captain Ahab standing on the deck and staring into the sea feels one tear drop running down his cheek and falling into the ocean.he despairs that he to the Universe is this tear to the ocean.I read the book (or rather ploughed through it ) decades back and this scene remains in my mind still.
good presentation.it did evoke memories in me
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :) I am happy we connected with this poem and you can relate.
Gypsy
Comment from Rasmine
Very good haiku. I feel this way, too. I love the ocean. I really miss going there. When I was a child I used to collect all the tiny shells and play with them. Did you do that, too?
Marival, is that your name? It's not Gypsy :P is it? :p I'm just trying to be funny. Are you going to the club tonight? If no one goes I rather just write, but I love to talk with people, so if you go let me know. Or I'll go anyhow just to see who shows up or maybe I'll forget--sorry just talking on and on.
You TC :)
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
Very good haiku. I feel this way, too. I love the ocean. I really miss going there. When I was a child I used to collect all the tiny shells and play with them. Did you do that, too?
Marival, is that your name? It's not Gypsy :P is it? :p I'm just trying to be funny. Are you going to the club tonight? If no one goes I rather just write, but I love to talk with people, so if you go let me know. Or I'll go anyhow just to see who shows up or maybe I'll forget--sorry just talking on and on.
You TC :)
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. Douglas and I will probably be in the club if you drop by. We don't have meetings anymore, nobody shows up. It was supposed to be yesterday at 4 pm so we decided to just invite people to come by when they want to, no set schedule. My real name is MariVal :) Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :)
Gypsy
Gypsy
-
I totally forgot Tuesday, so I'll just drop in sometime if I get the time. I'm sorry I forgot.
Comment from dragonpoet
This senryu tells of the importance of small things, like babies. They may be small but they teach you to love wholly. Also the importance of the small things in nature that need to be nurtured to keep us alive.
Keep writing
dragon
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
This senryu tells of the importance of small things, like babies. They may be small but they teach you to love wholly. Also the importance of the small things in nature that need to be nurtured to keep us alive.
Keep writing
dragon
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :)
Gypsy
-
No thank necessary.
Joan
Comment from Sis Cat
A fine shasei senryu. You gave me a new word to describe some of my waka sketched from life.
Your poem evokes the image (if one could see it with the naked eye) of plankton and krill in the hands of a mother holding see water. When I go to the ocean and feel the water, I sense the sentient beings in it but am unable to see them. I know they are there. I like your strong use of "minuscule." It shows the smallness of life, like the Lilliputians to Gulliver.
I only caution, Gypsy, that without your picture and author's notes, I would not know what you are talking about. I probably would write "minuscule plankton" just to set a concrete opening picture with the first line. This is only a suggestion.
Other news, reviewers have praised my tanka assignment and have expressed interest in either taking your class or writing tanka solo.
Thank you once again for sharing and inspiring.
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
A fine shasei senryu. You gave me a new word to describe some of my waka sketched from life.
Your poem evokes the image (if one could see it with the naked eye) of plankton and krill in the hands of a mother holding see water. When I go to the ocean and feel the water, I sense the sentient beings in it but am unable to see them. I know they are there. I like your strong use of "minuscule." It shows the smallness of life, like the Lilliputians to Gulliver.
I only caution, Gypsy, that without your picture and author's notes, I would not know what you are talking about. I probably would write "minuscule plankton" just to set a concrete opening picture with the first line. This is only a suggestion.
Other news, reviewers have praised my tanka assignment and have expressed interest in either taking your class or writing tanka solo.
Thank you once again for sharing and inspiring.
Comment Written 03-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Hello, Andre, I didn't mean my senryu the way you took it but that is okay. When I go to the ocean I feel very small and my problems seem insignificant. I also feel grounded and care for by Mother Nature.
Thank you for your review and kind words.
Gypsy
-
Yes, Gypsy, I feel minuscule, too, when I stand on the beach and look at the ocean. It is immense!
Comment from Lu Saluna
This is very pretty. Every little life form matters. Our world was in perfect balance. Even the extinction of a "minuscule" life form throws off the balance.
This is so lovely and thought provoking.
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
 |
This is very pretty. Every little life form matters. Our world was in perfect balance. Even the extinction of a "minuscule" life form throws off the balance.
This is so lovely and thought provoking.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Thank you, honey. How are you doing? I am happy you understand what I mean, not everyone is getting it. Thank you for reviewing me and for the generous six stars.
MariVal
-
I am still a little sore but mostly feeling tired.
It is perfectly obvious to me but then again, I pay close attention to nature. Look at how many mammals rely on those pesky little ants as food. What would happen to them if they were suddenly extinct? I leave the ants alone. If they get in the house, I sweep them up and put them outside. That usually does the job.
-
I guess I use the wrong word. I didn't mean physically minuscule, it's a metaphor. I would change it but it's on the front page, people like it, they just have the wrong idea... I am not sure what to do.
-
Well if people like it, leave it be. That is the nice thing about poetry, everyone interprets things differently based on their own perspective and life experiences. So "if it aint' broke, don't fix it".
-
yeah, I decided to leave it alone :)
Comment from amahra
First, let me say, this is a beautiful art work that you have chosen for this writing. I love the choice of words, and the rhythmic beat. Great job, my dear.
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
|
First, let me say, this is a beautiful art work that you have chosen for this writing. I love the choice of words, and the rhythmic beat. Great job, my dear.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
-
Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review me.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark Schardine
You obligated me to look up the word sentient (having the power of perception by the senses; conscious) and we know that the minuscule beings form an irreplaceable part of our world.
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
|
You obligated me to look up the word sentient (having the power of perception by the senses; conscious) and we know that the minuscule beings form an irreplaceable part of our world.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
-
I learned what sentient was when I studied Buddhism. It means all beings on earth, animals, people, plants, insects, etc... everything alive and conscious.
Thank you, my friend,
Gypsy
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
I love this a lot, "sentient beings in Mother's hands". It's true they are very much essesntial. Like we spent time with our family it's equally important we spare a little time to environment too. Have a great day. Namaste
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
|
I love this a lot, "sentient beings in Mother's hands". It's true they are very much essesntial. Like we spent time with our family it's equally important we spare a little time to environment too. Have a great day. Namaste
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
-
Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. :) Namaste
Gypsy hugs
