It Began Poorly
The first impression sometimes is an alert20 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
She had no sense of humour, you say, but you definitely do. This is hilarious.
Personally I think the rhyme is perfect.
Thanks for sharing.
She had no sense of humour, you say, but you definitely do. This is hilarious.
Personally I think the rhyme is perfect.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-May-2017
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Ogden,
I'd say it sounds like you were incompatible from the beginning. At least she wasn't picking out China patterns and registering for your nuptials lol You did a good job and providing specific details, adding humor, and yes, all of your rhymes were fine. Good luck in the contest.
Kim
Hi Ogden,
I'd say it sounds like you were incompatible from the beginning. At least she wasn't picking out China patterns and registering for your nuptials lol You did a good job and providing specific details, adding humor, and yes, all of your rhymes were fine. Good luck in the contest.
Kim
Comment Written 01-May-2017
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Come on admit it. You miss her. You know you do. You'll always remember her as the one that got away. The fact that she won the lottery has nothing to do with it.
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
Come on admit it. You miss her. You know you do. You'll always remember her as the one that got away. The fact that she won the lottery has nothing to do with it.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
-
No, obviously the lottery thing didn't move me. I'm not suggesting it's the reason you appear to find her so appealing, Thomas, but apparently you found her description a turn-on, and I suspect you intend to pursue her. Help yourself. The truth will come out in the end.
Comment from Liberty Justice
SIX STARS to you, dear poet! Your poem so humorous funny and I love the way you describe a stalker. You sure have be careful about who you date as described in great details. liberty justice
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
SIX STARS to you, dear poet! Your poem so humorous funny and I love the way you describe a stalker. You sure have be careful about who you date as described in great details. liberty justice
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
-
Thank you so much for the compliments, Liberty Justice, and of course for backing them up with that splendid sixer!
Comment from JDRBAR
Your couplets DO rhyme. It isn't the word "her" you are rhyming, and your result is smooth rhyming rhythm. I wouldn't change a word. Good luck with this. I really like it.
Your couplets DO rhyme. It isn't the word "her" you are rhyming, and your result is smooth rhyming rhythm. I wouldn't change a word. Good luck with this. I really like it.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh wow....I hope this wasn't true, a date from hell, indeed!! The no sense of humor would have doomed it...I know people like that. BORING. Good luck in this contest, blessings...
Oh wow....I hope this wasn't true, a date from hell, indeed!! The no sense of humor would have doomed it...I know people like that. BORING. Good luck in this contest, blessings...
Comment Written 29-Apr-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a relationship that should be better not to start at all from the start. There are either an instant connection or it will take a long time to even get to a connection.
A very well-written poem about a relationship that should be better not to start at all from the start. There are either an instant connection or it will take a long time to even get to a connection.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
Comment from HarryT
Nice attempt at humor. Liked it. A fun read.
Wish you had continued the rhyming pattern. Her followed by her stopped me.
One suggestion in the last line I would suggest the word should instead of must. But, your preference as the author
Nice attempt at humor. Liked it. A fun read.
Wish you had continued the rhyming pattern. Her followed by her stopped me.
One suggestion in the last line I would suggest the word should instead of must. But, your preference as the author
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
Comment from His Grayness
This is a very clever work of writing that keeps the author interested from beginning to end. The dialog is certainly entertaining, and the overall packaging of the work is well done also. I give it five stars for it's entertainment value, which did the right work on me! Many thanks for a fun read. HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
This is a very clever work of writing that keeps the author interested from beginning to end. The dialog is certainly entertaining, and the overall packaging of the work is well done also. I give it five stars for it's entertainment value, which did the right work on me! Many thanks for a fun read. HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
Comment from kahpot
An excellent poem and read, with humor right from the beginning and keeping the reader interested all the way very well done and good luck in your competition ****kahpot
An excellent poem and read, with humor right from the beginning and keeping the reader interested all the way very well done and good luck in your competition ****kahpot
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017