Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter Acht part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
36 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I like the way you have the characters listed at the end and a bit about their parts in the story. It helps keep track and make the characters more familiar.
Interesting chapter part where the story begins to develop, and we get a bit of a mystery about what they are talking about.
Shana seems to be getting great treatment while hiding from her pursuers.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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I like the way you have the characters listed at the end and a bit about their parts in the story. It helps keep track and make the characters more familiar.
Interesting chapter part where the story begins to develop, and we get a bit of a mystery about what they are talking about.
Shana seems to be getting great treatment while hiding from her pursuers.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving the kind review.
Comment from fafa
The romanticism always pleases, defines sensations, anticipates reactions, makes us sometimes discovered before the emotion, I have read this chapter and have felt every word greetings and very good chapter
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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The romanticism always pleases, defines sensations, anticipates reactions, makes us sometimes discovered before the emotion, I have read this chapter and have felt every word greetings and very good chapter
Comment Written 26-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving the kind review.
Comment from Rasmine
That photo is making me hungry. How are you doing? I'm good, but hungry now. LOL! You should have entered this in the food contest.
I hope you have a nice week and keep writing!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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That photo is making me hungry. How are you doing? I'm good, but hungry now. LOL! You should have entered this in the food contest.
I hope you have a nice week and keep writing!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
Good chapter.
Well-written.
Nicely polished.
Good artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Good chapter.
Well-written.
Nicely polished.
Good artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 26-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving the kind review.
Comment from padumachitta
hi I enjoyed this wee chapter. I am just back from being ill, well still illl, so may not have the energy to back read. But, it is good when a chapter gets me to read all the way through and yours did that.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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hi I enjoyed this wee chapter. I am just back from being ill, well still illl, so may not have the energy to back read. But, it is good when a chapter gets me to read all the way through and yours did that.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barbara. Your story continues to evolve with impending action versus the mafia imminent it seems. Your detail is good in this chapter but I am not sure what this is about? ""Thank you." Shana chewed on her lower lip." (If this is meant to show she is nervocus I would use something else. this is a bit over the top, I believe.
Good job. Blessings, Bob
ps. My last five chapters are reviewable if you are so inclined even if you think you remmeber the outcome of the story. If not, I will also stop reviewing your work until my book is done which will be shortly. Time is the thing. Hope you understand. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Hi, Barbara. Your story continues to evolve with impending action versus the mafia imminent it seems. Your detail is good in this chapter but I am not sure what this is about? ""Thank you." Shana chewed on her lower lip." (If this is meant to show she is nervocus I would use something else. this is a bit over the top, I believe.
Good job. Blessings, Bob
ps. My last five chapters are reviewable if you are so inclined even if you think you remmeber the outcome of the story. If not, I will also stop reviewing your work until my book is done which will be shortly. Time is the thing. Hope you understand. Bob
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving the kind review.
Comment from Cmelton
I have only read this one part of the story but I like it. I see a definite problem that needs to be solved and i can tell the character is under duress. I think the dialogue has a great flow as well. Nothing makes a story move better than dialog. Great job.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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I have only read this one part of the story but I like it. I see a definite problem that needs to be solved and i can tell the character is under duress. I think the dialogue has a great flow as well. Nothing makes a story move better than dialog. Great job.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dweigt
Another good chapter! The dialogue is natural and smooth, and you are moving the story along nicely.
"There everybody should be happy." -- I think you may need a comma, or even a period after "There" to indicate a pause.
who has Intel about the Russian Mafia -- I don't think "Intel" should be capitalized here. Makes it look like the computer chip company.
It usually means cruelty and rage or the one who makes ordered physical executions happen. -- I read this a couple of times, and the last bit seems off. ...one who makes ordered physical executions happen.
What happens next? ;-)
Keep writing!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Another good chapter! The dialogue is natural and smooth, and you are moving the story along nicely.
"There everybody should be happy." -- I think you may need a comma, or even a period after "There" to indicate a pause.
who has Intel about the Russian Mafia -- I don't think "Intel" should be capitalized here. Makes it look like the computer chip company.
It usually means cruelty and rage or the one who makes ordered physical executions happen. -- I read this a couple of times, and the last bit seems off. ...one who makes ordered physical executions happen.
What happens next? ;-)
Keep writing!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for kind review and I will check that area.
Comment from bookishfabler
Great chapter.
Philip raised his fork. "I bet you can't get sausage gravy like this anywhere else in New York." (I'm not sure you can even get sausage gravy in New York. I'm from there and never heard of it until I moved south. Along with grits. I knew what Collard greens were but never made them until I moved here.)
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Great chapter.
Philip raised his fork. "I bet you can't get sausage gravy like this anywhere else in New York." (I'm not sure you can even get sausage gravy in New York. I'm from there and never heard of it until I moved south. Along with grits. I knew what Collard greens were but never made them until I moved here.)
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving the kind review.
Comment from light
Barbara, this is quite revealing. I had no idea that Russian mafia had gang tattoos. It will be interesting to learn more about them. Another good chapter.
Elaine
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Barbara, this is quite revealing. I had no idea that Russian mafia had gang tattoos. It will be interesting to learn more about them. Another good chapter.
Elaine
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.