Wise owlish Muse
Senryu You !4 total reviews
Comment from MLEaton
I like this very much and it is an interesting idea. Your first two lines are superb. But I have just noticed that you haven't kept to the syllable count. I know it can be altered slightly, but my instinct is that the final line is too long and doesn't quite work with the rest.
Well done, though!
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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I like this very much and it is an interesting idea. Your first two lines are superb. But I have just noticed that you haven't kept to the syllable count. I know it can be altered slightly, but my instinct is that the final line is too long and doesn't quite work with the rest.
Well done, though!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading & critique zanya
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Wise Owlish Muse, uses sixteen syllables to create the metaphor of the nocturnal Muse seeking those elusive ideas, like apt words, pregnant pauses, and just the tone to add brilliance to the night's work.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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This senryu, Wise Owlish Muse, uses sixteen syllables to create the metaphor of the nocturnal Muse seeking those elusive ideas, like apt words, pregnant pauses, and just the tone to add brilliance to the night's work.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading & critique zanya
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
My wise owlish Muse<>alights at dead of night,eyes<
seek poetic prey
the phrase composition is problematic
try something like this
wise owlish Muse
alights at dead of night,
eyes seek poetic prey
you don't have to have exactly 17 syllables, it is more important that your poem makes sense and flows well.
Good job, my friend,
Gypsy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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My wise owlish Muse<>alights at dead of night,eyes<
seek poetic prey
the phrase composition is problematic
try something like this
wise owlish Muse
alights at dead of night,
eyes seek poetic prey
you don't have to have exactly 17 syllables, it is more important that your poem makes sense and flows well.
Good job, my friend,
Gypsy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Much appreciated -yes the syllable count can take over the show sometimes !! zanya
Comment from kahpot
A fantastic choice of artwork to open your words, an owl looking, choosing then deciding on his meal excellent good luck and thank you for sharing****kahpot
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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A fantastic choice of artwork to open your words, an owl looking, choosing then deciding on his meal excellent good luck and thank you for sharing****kahpot
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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And thanks for reading zanya
