The Marketplace
Cacophony poem 12 lines15 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! This is an excellent cacophony poem. At first I was thinking Wall Street when I saw the title. But a typical marketplace is a perfect source of cacophony. I liked it that even with it closed, the storm makes noise. I particularly liked the "staccato bursts" of lightning which combines both an auditory adjective with a visual noun.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Wow! This is an excellent cacophony poem. At first I was thinking Wall Street when I saw the title. But a typical marketplace is a perfect source of cacophony. I liked it that even with it closed, the storm makes noise. I particularly liked the "staccato bursts" of lightning which combines both an auditory adjective with a visual noun.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for these thoughtful comments and Wallstreet would have been a great idea too.
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btw, you had my vote for the funny/not funny poem.
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Thank you so much!! JoAnn
Comment from Irish Rain
This the marketplace is awesomely loud!! A great entry in this contest. Children laughing, screaming, the weather, the bells, horses, you have it all here!!! Good luck, blessings...
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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This the marketplace is awesomely loud!! A great entry in this contest. Children laughing, screaming, the weather, the bells, horses, you have it all here!!! Good luck, blessings...
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your generous comments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You have painted a picture of the chaos in a market with lots of imagery and noise and then the silence of it being closed for a day, perfect! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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You have painted a picture of the chaos in a market with lots of imagery and noise and then the silence of it being closed for a day, perfect! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much!
Comment from Popcorn69
I was in a marketplace at Georgetown JA a few years ago and reading this brings back those memories. Your words help paint a visual and audio imagine of what life is like in the marketplace. Your picture and color scheme will enhance the presentation of this writing prompt entry. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I was in a marketplace at Georgetown JA a few years ago and reading this brings back those memories. Your words help paint a visual and audio imagine of what life is like in the marketplace. Your picture and color scheme will enhance the presentation of this writing prompt entry. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much-hope they were good memories.
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your cacophony poem. It had all the sounds of a busy market place. Your photo was a good choice as it added the colors. Your ending lines proved that of all the sounds at the market place. Mother Nature rules.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I enjoyed reading your cacophony poem. It had all the sounds of a busy market place. Your photo was a good choice as it added the colors. Your ending lines proved that of all the sounds at the market place. Mother Nature rules.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from nuthead
Great job describing the cacophony of a marketplace. Neat the way you ended with a turn from regular marketplace noise to nature's noise! Well done.
Love the alliteration in the first stanza:
"Squawking, screeching, shrieking, screaming, bellowing, blaring, blurting, beaming,"
You touched on every aspect of the marketplace ... all noisy! :)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Great job describing the cacophony of a marketplace. Neat the way you ended with a turn from regular marketplace noise to nature's noise! Well done.
Love the alliteration in the first stanza:
"Squawking, screeching, shrieking, screaming, bellowing, blaring, blurting, beaming,"
You touched on every aspect of the marketplace ... all noisy! :)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a really good entry into the cacophony contest. Loved the last couplet especially. Typo to fix for "lightening"--should be lightning. Otherwise no changes. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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This is a really good entry into the cacophony contest. Loved the last couplet especially. Typo to fix for "lightening"--should be lightning. Otherwise no changes. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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T^hanks much for this great correction and for reading.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
While most people neglect to add the sounds to their cacophony poems, you have sounds in spades. *smile* The problem is, you forgot the POEM part. I think you concentrated a bit too firmly on the sounds, to the detriment of your piece.
If you could have gotten your sounds to rhyme or added a couple of rhyming lines in between...? Using the same line (or slightly revised) about the 'marketplace' does not make it a poem. Sorry. I think you had a GREAT idea, but the execution wasn't seamless.
Luckily, I'll be the only one who thinks so! OR- you can do some quick editing? It's always okay to edit, even in the voting booth. (Tom says so!)
Much good luck! (And remember, this is only one person's opinion, and we all know what THOSE are worth!! *smile*)
Thanks for sharing!
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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Dear Mystery Writer,
While most people neglect to add the sounds to their cacophony poems, you have sounds in spades. *smile* The problem is, you forgot the POEM part. I think you concentrated a bit too firmly on the sounds, to the detriment of your piece.
If you could have gotten your sounds to rhyme or added a couple of rhyming lines in between...? Using the same line (or slightly revised) about the 'marketplace' does not make it a poem. Sorry. I think you had a GREAT idea, but the execution wasn't seamless.
Luckily, I'll be the only one who thinks so! OR- you can do some quick editing? It's always okay to edit, even in the voting booth. (Tom says so!)
Much good luck! (And remember, this is only one person's opinion, and we all know what THOSE are worth!! *smile*)
Thanks for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading and the ideas also.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This really did make you feel like you where in a market place, you painted such a true picture, loud, colourful, frantic.......loved the last stanza
Possibly a mis-spelt word...beak of glass.....was this meant to be ...break of glass?
Have a great evening
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2017
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This really did make you feel like you where in a market place, you painted such a true picture, loud, colourful, frantic.......loved the last stanza
Possibly a mis-spelt word...beak of glass.....was this meant to be ...break of glass?
Have a great evening
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2017
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Yes-thanks so much for the correction and for reading.
Comment from Ulla
You certainly adhere to the rules of using harsh words to produce sounds to a place. And yours certainly describe the multitude of noises at a marketplace. Well done and good luck. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2017
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You certainly adhere to the rules of using harsh words to produce sounds to a place. And yours certainly describe the multitude of noises at a marketplace. Well done and good luck. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much!
