Replacing Gwen
A writer seeks new Editorial Assistant4 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
This piece flows well. Your use of dialogue is stellar, and I envy you. John Sinclair is an intriguing character, and I can see why he is so reluctant to lose Gwen. Thank you for sharing this well penned story,
~patty~
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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This piece flows well. Your use of dialogue is stellar, and I envy you. John Sinclair is an intriguing character, and I can see why he is so reluctant to lose Gwen. Thank you for sharing this well penned story,
~patty~
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thanks Patty. John is a lucky guy. Gwen's replacement will also be memorable. Thanks for the great comments.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Very interesting, hot and sweet, lively and realistic, theme is so orderly in progression thru the plot, sense of humour, respect for women, creative skill practice, all expressed well like the real dialogues; I liked the opening and ending catches.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Very interesting, hot and sweet, lively and realistic, theme is so orderly in progression thru the plot, sense of humour, respect for women, creative skill practice, all expressed well like the real dialogues; I liked the opening and ending catches.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for reading and for the wonderful comments.
Comment from dmt1967
The story, on the whole, was good. My problem is, it didn't go anywhere. A shorter version of a story going nowhere would have been better, in my opinion. Half narrative and half dialogue would have been better for me, but an almost all dialogue that doesn't go anywhere doesn't do it at all, in my opinion. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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The story, on the whole, was good. My problem is, it didn't go anywhere. A shorter version of a story going nowhere would have been better, in my opinion. Half narrative and half dialogue would have been better for me, but an almost all dialogue that doesn't go anywhere doesn't do it at all, in my opinion. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Hmmm, sounds like a re-read on my part is necessary. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I'm sure this is intentional but the all dialogue way you are writing this kind of puts your characters at a distance. It's an excellent story and the dialogue is fantastic. But I wonder why you don't have descriptions and internal thought. Very creative though and I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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I'm sure this is intentional but the all dialogue way you are writing this kind of puts your characters at a distance. It's an excellent story and the dialogue is fantastic. But I wonder why you don't have descriptions and internal thought. Very creative though and I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thanks Michael, good observation. I'll work no that.
