Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Ambush"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
28 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day again, again, Sis.
Lets get back on with reading this scary stuff.
"At first he was disoriented, the effects of a lifetime of living in the city," ( I am the opposite!)
"Sani reached out a hand and restrained Archie from rising to his feet. He pointed upward. "Don't say a word," he mouthed. "Cougar Kin." (Shit! Well placed sis, I didn't see that coming at all. It hits the reader very dramatically.)
QUESTION: Do the Cougars have guns?
"the protective grass mat was jerked off their enclosure, and two brawny men dropped inside." (Ouch!)
"Archie heard a thunk, saw Ayala with the Humanity Project book held high, and then watched as the guard dropped to the ground." (Hahahahaha! Talk about karma.)
"Whack... the second man went down. This time it was Sani who stood behind him, his knapsack still in motion." (I would have used the spade.)
"they fell in behind Sani like desperate little ducklings following their mother to life-giving water." (Nice analogy.)
"It was in the book. You should have finished reading it like I did." (How good is that!)
"The best way to defeat an enemy is to know his heart and intentions. The book was all full of both." (Correct! It is also the best way to find food... meat... in the desert. Study your prey and learn his habits, is what I was taught.)
Fabulous and thrilling work. This is very readable and one of those books that "are hard to put down," as they say.
Every chapter brings a new scene and new mysteries and that is important.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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G'day again, again, Sis.
Lets get back on with reading this scary stuff.
"At first he was disoriented, the effects of a lifetime of living in the city," ( I am the opposite!)
"Sani reached out a hand and restrained Archie from rising to his feet. He pointed upward. "Don't say a word," he mouthed. "Cougar Kin." (Shit! Well placed sis, I didn't see that coming at all. It hits the reader very dramatically.)
QUESTION: Do the Cougars have guns?
"the protective grass mat was jerked off their enclosure, and two brawny men dropped inside." (Ouch!)
"Archie heard a thunk, saw Ayala with the Humanity Project book held high, and then watched as the guard dropped to the ground." (Hahahahaha! Talk about karma.)
"Whack... the second man went down. This time it was Sani who stood behind him, his knapsack still in motion." (I would have used the spade.)
"they fell in behind Sani like desperate little ducklings following their mother to life-giving water." (Nice analogy.)
"It was in the book. You should have finished reading it like I did." (How good is that!)
"The best way to defeat an enemy is to know his heart and intentions. The book was all full of both." (Correct! It is also the best way to find food... meat... in the desert. Study your prey and learn his habits, is what I was taught.)
Fabulous and thrilling work. This is very readable and one of those books that "are hard to put down," as they say.
Every chapter brings a new scene and new mysteries and that is important.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the sixes you've gifted me with!! I appreciate the starts the so helpful comments.
I'm glad the continuity is working as they were often posted a week or more apart, and you are the only one who's read it straight through this way.
The spade was a good idea, maybe from one of the youngsters. I'm not sure Sani could wield it, but it would definitely be a good twist to it.
The Cougars do have guns, and you'll see that later, but I should have probably brought that up at this time. I like it.
Thanks for letting me know what works well. I tried to channel you while writing this part. haha. Should be Feral and not Sani!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, hurry, hurry. I hope they make it to the highway in time. A good chapter full of action and emotion. Of course, the protagonists cannot have an easy time of it or there would be no story. You build the tension well.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Oh, hurry, hurry. I hope they make it to the highway in time. A good chapter full of action and emotion. Of course, the protagonists cannot have an easy time of it or there would be no story. You build the tension well.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thank you for another review. You're right about the heroes not getting off easily, or there would be no tale to tell. Thank you for taking the time to read!!
Rhonda
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A well written chapter, my friend.
A note on the purpose of the animal DNA discovery. This book is intended to be Science Fiction and Fantasy, but it has an underlying theme. There have been groups of people throughout time that have been treated as less than human, even experimented on in some cases. it's also to bring up any discrimination against other groups of people. It happened in the past, and is still happening today. The poor, ethnic groups, sexual orientation, mental illness, people from other countries, etc. There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. It is my intention to use a fantasy environment to teach cultural tolerance, while telling a yarn. Thank you to those of you who look beyond the story.
How very true and so very sad. I like how you are approaching this, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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A well written chapter, my friend.
A note on the purpose of the animal DNA discovery. This book is intended to be Science Fiction and Fantasy, but it has an underlying theme. There have been groups of people throughout time that have been treated as less than human, even experimented on in some cases. it's also to bring up any discrimination against other groups of people. It happened in the past, and is still happening today. The poor, ethnic groups, sexual orientation, mental illness, people from other countries, etc. There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. It is my intention to use a fantasy environment to teach cultural tolerance, while telling a yarn. Thank you to those of you who look beyond the story.
How very true and so very sad. I like how you are approaching this, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much, Debbie. At first I thought you were going to say you thought it inappropriate to bring up during a sci-fi story. I was glad to see you liked it.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from ciliverde
Cultural tolerance seems to be diminishing these days, rather than increasing - at least in the US. I agree with you that it's important, and in fact, probably critical to survival of the human race. You end the chapter on a cliff hanger - will they make it across the highway and escape the Cougar clan? This is such a fascinating story, I really love the concept of it, and am enjoying your chapters.
Carol
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2017
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Cultural tolerance seems to be diminishing these days, rather than increasing - at least in the US. I agree with you that it's important, and in fact, probably critical to survival of the human race. You end the chapter on a cliff hanger - will they make it across the highway and escape the Cougar clan? This is such a fascinating story, I really love the concept of it, and am enjoying your chapters.
Carol
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much, Carol. You seem to really get the point of the story. Yes, we must learn to get along. As the old song goes, "Peace on Earth, or the Earth in pieces."
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, well now what? They have run so far and seemed to having gone away with it, but it appears their luck has run out. I can't wait to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Hi Rhonda, well now what? They have run so far and seemed to having gone away with it, but it appears their luck has run out. I can't wait to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful six star rating, Ulla! Things are about to get pretty hairy for them... worse before better.
I appreciate your comments and support, my friend.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from Rasmine
This is very creative! Love that they are taught that animals are unclean while living in a house that is named after an animal. Sounds almost Native American--not the teachings, but the house names.
Your writing is very well done--your book summary is impeccable!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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This is very creative! Love that they are taught that animals are unclean while living in a house that is named after an animal. Sounds almost Native American--not the teachings, but the house names.
Your writing is very well done--your book summary is impeccable!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. There's more to the names of the animals then just the names. If you read the last chapter, you'll understand. Thank you for stopping by,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
A cry in the dark...
And so the action begins.
I guess no one thought to clamp a hand over Koko's mouth
before she woke her up. Sani is slipping.
It seems crossing the highway is like crossing a line drawn in the sand
crossing from from light to dark, into the forbidden zone
I didn't really picture the desert with bushes and boulders
large enough to hid the Cougars (but that's just me, lol)
Archie and the girls run, but Sani is not included in that sentence.
This may has sad implications for the next chapter.
Very well done.
You know Koko spelled backwards is ok ok,
so we'll all trust that everything will be ok
Well done, my friend.
Six boulders... to hide plot twists.
RS
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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A cry in the dark...
And so the action begins.
I guess no one thought to clamp a hand over Koko's mouth
before she woke her up. Sani is slipping.
It seems crossing the highway is like crossing a line drawn in the sand
crossing from from light to dark, into the forbidden zone
I didn't really picture the desert with bushes and boulders
large enough to hid the Cougars (but that's just me, lol)
Archie and the girls run, but Sani is not included in that sentence.
This may has sad implications for the next chapter.
Very well done.
You know Koko spelled backwards is ok ok,
so we'll all trust that everything will be ok
Well done, my friend.
Six boulders... to hide plot twists.
RS
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the six star review, and for the comments on confusing parts. I'll fix them. I originally had Ayala clamp her hand over Koko's mouth, but needed the sound to be loud enough to call the Cougars back. haha... That part of the desert actually does have boulders and brush. I traveled the area when writing the book. I'll make it sound better, though, thanks.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from LaRosa
Don't think I'll ever tire of this story line!
It's just enough suspense, tempered with filling-in of past to future possibilities between characters and.
Love it, Lady.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Don't think I'll ever tire of this story line!
It's just enough suspense, tempered with filling-in of past to future possibilities between characters and.
Love it, Lady.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much for the review and comments! Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Mabaker
Hi Rhonda, I have been reading chapters of the story and I must say it is a wonderful one. I wonder if you like myself suddenly find your story takes over? I started out with a retiring policeman and now thirty chapters later have a cast of X amount. Same here with this wonderful fanstay all the 'houses named after animals etc. Great writing. Sincerely Anne.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Hi Rhonda, I have been reading chapters of the story and I must say it is a wonderful one. I wonder if you like myself suddenly find your story takes over? I started out with a retiring policeman and now thirty chapters later have a cast of X amount. Same here with this wonderful fanstay all the 'houses named after animals etc. Great writing. Sincerely Anne.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Anne. You're right. Some stories you plan out really well, have an outline and all that, and others just take on a life of their own!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
After being discovered in their hidey hole, because Koko coughed, but they beat off the burly Cougars, and make a run for it, but Sani thinks they can escape by crossing the road, apparently if they do, considered fugitives and shot on sight, well done, dear Rhonda, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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After being discovered in their hidey hole, because Koko coughed, but they beat off the burly Cougars, and make a run for it, but Sani thinks they can escape by crossing the road, apparently if they do, considered fugitives and shot on sight, well done, dear Rhonda, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Roy! You are a wonderful source of support.
How are things going in your neck of the woods?
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
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It's fine, although another friend passed on, there's been a few this year, including my dear brother, always glad to help if I can Rhonda, you deserve it. Roy
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Sorry about your losses, they are hard to bear, even for the strongest of us!
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Thanks Rhonda, I guess it's to be expected in the ever advancing years, but still tough, you're a kind girl, Roy
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Yes, it does start happening! And you are a kind soul as well!
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Thank you Rhonda