When fire challenges rain
How Fire Hates the Rain26 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
I always loved that Fire and Rain song. I heard that James Taylor wrote it after losing his wife in an airplane crash, if memory serves. Your poem is poignant and well panned. Great imagery and extended metaphor. Excellent random rhyme scheme and fresh rhyme pairs, especially:
The fire engines come too late
To make the folks appreciate
one optional suggestion here:
So Mother Nature wins again
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not again be near
Instead of using again two lines in close succession, if you shorten the first line to end on WINS, with still sounds like a slant rhyme with WITHIN. Just an idea:
So Mother Nature wins
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not again be near
Another option, though I like the above one best, is to remove the second AGAIN:
So Mother Nature wins again
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not be near
Enjoyed this, dear Vance. Fine presentation with the stunning photo.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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I always loved that Fire and Rain song. I heard that James Taylor wrote it after losing his wife in an airplane crash, if memory serves. Your poem is poignant and well panned. Great imagery and extended metaphor. Excellent random rhyme scheme and fresh rhyme pairs, especially:
The fire engines come too late
To make the folks appreciate
one optional suggestion here:
So Mother Nature wins again
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not again be near
Instead of using again two lines in close succession, if you shorten the first line to end on WINS, with still sounds like a slant rhyme with WITHIN. Just an idea:
So Mother Nature wins
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not again be near
Another option, though I like the above one best, is to remove the second AGAIN:
So Mother Nature wins again
As fire seeks to light within
A place where rain will not be near
Enjoyed this, dear Vance. Fine presentation with the stunning photo.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much Rama, your very insightful and helpful review. I appreciate your suggestions here and think they are indeed very wise. Always a pleasure to hear from you.....and always a delight to read your works! Vance
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:-)))))))))
Comment from Dawn Munro
Ha! This is very clever - indeed, fire WOULD hate rain, wouldn't it? Now wind, that's another matter altogether. I love the imagery this evokes, Vance - it's really quite easy to picture, and actually a little fun (if it's not a house it's destroying). :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Ha! This is very clever - indeed, fire WOULD hate rain, wouldn't it? Now wind, that's another matter altogether. I love the imagery this evokes, Vance - it's really quite easy to picture, and actually a little fun (if it's not a house it's destroying). :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Hi Dawn: this was an ODE contest entry and they used James Taylor's song "Fire and Rain as an example of how an ode should flow. So I simply re-wrote the lyrics to follow the same time and meter and came in third against a ghastly celebration of toilet paper that came in first....actually it was quite clever! Thanks for your comments as always. Vance
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A charming write and could have been a contest entry! Mother Nature is a force to be reckoned with, best wishes Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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A charming write and could have been a contest entry! Mother Nature is a force to be reckoned with, best wishes Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you sincerely Dolly's Poems, for your kind review. And yes, this actually was an ODE contest entry and placed third against a magnificent celebration of toilet paper that won the award! All the best and don't be a stranger! HIS GRAYNESS Vance
Comment from BeasPeas
Your fine ode poem about fire and rain brings to mind living in California where we were in a drought for so long. The threat of fire was a constant in the mountains. Nicely composed piece, especially the first four lines:
"Oh how the fire hates the rain
How it drives its brilliant embers
Down the drain
Turns its raging heat to cloudy steam."
Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Your fine ode poem about fire and rain brings to mind living in California where we were in a drought for so long. The threat of fire was a constant in the mountains. Nicely composed piece, especially the first four lines:
"Oh how the fire hates the rain
How it drives its brilliant embers
Down the drain
Turns its raging heat to cloudy steam."
Marilyn
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much BeasPeas, for your fine review and stars. This was a contest entry for an ODE writing (suggesting such meter as James Taylor's famous song lyric: "OH, I've SEEN FIRE AND I've SEEN RAIN, I've SEEN LONELY TIMES WHEN I COULD NOT FIND A FRIEND ..BUT I ALWAYS KNEW I'D SEE YOU AGAIN ETC.... so basically, I re-wrote the lyric but only made third place in the contest. Thanks for your kind message and review. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
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Yes, I sort of picked up the theme from reading yours. Congratulations for your win.
Comment from val fitchie
Most Unusual, Captain. the idea of a firetruck showing up simply to "show off" is an original thought indeed.... "How it drives its brilliant embers down the drain" and
"Oh those sparkling ashes disappear
Before they have delivered all their fear" cute and clever
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Most Unusual, Captain. the idea of a firetruck showing up simply to "show off" is an original thought indeed.... "How it drives its brilliant embers down the drain" and
"Oh those sparkling ashes disappear
Before they have delivered all their fear" cute and clever
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thanks Val...I wish I could reply to reviews without mucking up the website operations....if I do more than three or four in line, the website can't seem to handle a bundle and blows them all out.
Comment from I am Cat
lovely presentation and wonderful use of rhyme in this ode.
Oh yes, the fire... it is beautiful, but we must keep it contained.
And the rain, how lovely, and yet, it too can get out of control.
Moderation is key, I always say.
Well done in this ode, I'm not sure if it's an ode to rain or fire... perhaps both. A double whammy.
Hugs
Cat
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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lovely presentation and wonderful use of rhyme in this ode.
Oh yes, the fire... it is beautiful, but we must keep it contained.
And the rain, how lovely, and yet, it too can get out of control.
Moderation is key, I always say.
Well done in this ode, I'm not sure if it's an ode to rain or fire... perhaps both. A double whammy.
Hugs
Cat
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Thanks Cat, for the great review. My understanding of the contest guidelines is that an "ODE" Could be something akin to the lyrics of ie: James Taylor: ie: his hit song: Fire and Rain. I simply changed the lyrics (always loved that song too) but the contest instructions clearly puzzled a lot of the reviewers and I guess...me too! Thanks for the great review and always a delight to hear from you. HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment from strivinginsc
Well written and good format. The poem is very visible, you can follow the flames and the rain that puts it out. We are thankful for the fire department, but nothing beats mother nature when she steps in.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Well written and good format. The poem is very visible, you can follow the flames and the rain that puts it out. We are thankful for the fire department, but nothing beats mother nature when she steps in.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much strivinginsc for your kind review. It is much appreciated. Kind regards: HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment from Pantygynt
I am not familiar with this "famous song2 so I am unable to draw any parallels with it. I have produced a number of parodies in my time and always post the original in the notes for those unfamiliar with it to strike a comparison. You have to realise that Fanstorians are an international breed.
As a conflict between the two "elements" as they used to be called this is a neat little poem.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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I am not familiar with this "famous song2 so I am unable to draw any parallels with it. I have produced a number of parodies in my time and always post the original in the notes for those unfamiliar with it to strike a comparison. You have to realise that Fanstorians are an international breed.
As a conflict between the two "elements" as they used to be called this is a neat little poem.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much for your very informative and helpful review. Much appreciated! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment from azwildrosa
What a beautiful read. This is a great entry for this prompt. It flows beautifully with great images. I've truly enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes to you in the booth.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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What a beautiful read. This is a great entry for this prompt. It flows beautifully with great images. I've truly enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes to you in the booth.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review and good wishes for the contest. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from Irish Rain
Be nice if rain would always appear as fire broke out! This is a lovely ode, very nicely written. Good luck to you!!! I like that 'fire and rain' song by James Taylor too, good inspiration!!! Blessings...
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Be nice if rain would always appear as fire broke out! This is a lovely ode, very nicely written. Good luck to you!!! I like that 'fire and rain' song by James Taylor too, good inspiration!!! Blessings...
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much Irish Rain, for your lovely review and good wishes for the contest. Yes, I too am a lifelong fan of James Taylor and had great fun with this contest. All the best! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
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Love his song...'In my mind I'm going to Carolina'...have a great weekend!
