The Amazing Heist
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Thinking"A team of six plan their final heist.
8 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Some of the reader will smile at this sentence: "Changing from the super large machines that needed a whole floor at least to house the equipment to the current day laptops and tablets." I took lessons for an old kind, whose name I can't remember. We made learning games on cassette tape for students. I later realized, we were doing primitive programming. We are curious now.
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
  |
Some of the reader will smile at this sentence: "Changing from the super large machines that needed a whole floor at least to house the equipment to the current day laptops and tablets." I took lessons for an old kind, whose name I can't remember. We made learning games on cassette tape for students. I later realized, we were doing primitive programming. We are curious now.
Comment Written 04-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
-
Thank you so much Liz for reviewing and your amazing comments.
-
I love how you reflect on our past. It must puzzle the millennials
-
I really enjoyed writing this one, perhaps it did puzzle the millennials?
-
lol
Comment from lyenochka
Computers have changed our lives so dramatically in the last thirty years. We can't keep doing life the way we used to and so businesses cannot be negligent about their computer systems, just as we found out with all the hackers lately. Seems like Abby knows how to make this weak link a key part of her plan!
One suggestion:
Programmers were being given out by colleges, (Since the colleges don't give away people, I would suggest "computer programming degrees" instead of "Programmers.")
In the US, we call the C.S. degrees. Unfortunately, during the 2000s, we hired programmers in other countries instead of hiring our own. Hope they fixed that labor shortage problem!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
|
Computers have changed our lives so dramatically in the last thirty years. We can't keep doing life the way we used to and so businesses cannot be negligent about their computer systems, just as we found out with all the hackers lately. Seems like Abby knows how to make this weak link a key part of her plan!
One suggestion:
Programmers were being given out by colleges, (Since the colleges don't give away people, I would suggest "computer programming degrees" instead of "Programmers.")
In the US, we call the C.S. degrees. Unfortunately, during the 2000s, we hired programmers in other countries instead of hiring our own. Hope they fixed that labor shortage problem!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
-
Thank you so much Helene for reviewing and your amazing comments. I fixed the suggestion before I answered this. Thanks.
Comment from BeasPeas
I haven't read all your chapters, as generally I read mostly poetry, but I do like to tap in from time to time. Your writing is clear and interesting. Well thought out. Length is good. Nicely done. Marilyn
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
|
I haven't read all your chapters, as generally I read mostly poetry, but I do like to tap in from time to time. Your writing is clear and interesting. Well thought out. Length is good. Nicely done. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
-
Thanks Marilyn it is greatly appreciated
Comment from Mabaker
Alie have you been naughty and not told me about a chapter or two?I get so involved with what I am trying to do and survive I forget at times other wonderful people are doing thier thing as well. Just give me a jolt at times darling girl I do love your writing and Heist is a fantastic story. Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
|
Alie have you been naughty and not told me about a chapter or two?I get so involved with what I am trying to do and survive I forget at times other wonderful people are doing thier thing as well. Just give me a jolt at times darling girl I do love your writing and Heist is a fantastic story. Love U Anne.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
-
Mmmm my bad I just forgot. Sometimes I just get sidetracked. Sorry I will try to be better luv you
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an extremely short chapter. When you develop this into a full book you will probably decide on a single chapter called "Preliminary Planning" or something in which all these little gems, here set out as chapters, will be placed separated by a row of stars ********* thus. They are rather short as full chapters.
"She, like Henry, thought it was rather careless (on) of the business." I think this should be "of" and not "on".
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
|
This is an extremely short chapter. When you develop this into a full book you will probably decide on a single chapter called "Preliminary Planning" or something in which all these little gems, here set out as chapters, will be placed separated by a row of stars ********* thus. They are rather short as full chapters.
"She, like Henry, thought it was rather careless (on) of the business." I think this should be "of" and not "on".
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing, I can see where you are coming from with your suggestion and it makes a great deal of sense. Oh and the correction has been taken care of. Again thanks.
-
Don't alter it for FS though. We reviewers like the short bits. Lol.
-
LOL, have no fear I understood and I like you and perhaps many others enjoy the short stuff.
Comment from royowen
I know that in their planning to carry out the plans to carry out the business of creating a plan for the most clever of all heists. I spoke with a friend of mine on that very area of comparable time honed technical computers, that needed blocks to hold and compute information, whereas one tiny chip serves the same purpose, well done, great scribing blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
|
I know that in their planning to carry out the plans to carry out the business of creating a plan for the most clever of all heists. I spoke with a friend of mine on that very area of comparable time honed technical computers, that needed blocks to hold and compute information, whereas one tiny chip serves the same purpose, well done, great scribing blessings, Roy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
-
Thank you ever so much Roy for reading and taking the time to review. I really appreciate your comments. I am so glad that your friend was able to assist. Again thanks.
-
Well done
-
: )
Comment from Sixty70
Getting the team on the same page, great. I wonder whether the tech part of this will stand up to scrutiny. Without spending a lot of time, I did a fast Google search for software and armored vehicles. Oddly enough, what came up was a 1977 Standards for Armored Car and Armed Courier Services, on a .gov site. I've included the URL: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/Digitization/43348NCJRS.pdf.
Wait for it to come up, it takes a while to load.
My guess is that the information about what software security (and possibly physical security) isn't readily available because of the association with military. It would help the credibility of your story to get even ten year old information about tech, and that includes the onboard tech as well as that for dispatchers.
SPAG:
The word itself would make an ass out of u and me' This is a cliché. I think it's okay to sue clichés from time to time, but this one is really old.
like candy at a Halloween party. Do you produce candy at a Halloween party? I wonder if this metaphor misses the mark.
and answer any You need an 's' at the end of 'answer' for the singular verb tense
"She like him thought..." You need a comma after 'she' and after 'him' and I think 'him' should be 'he'. Although I would probably say 'They both' to avoid all the commas and the pronoun weirdness.
"currant day" 'current-day'
Best to you!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
|
Getting the team on the same page, great. I wonder whether the tech part of this will stand up to scrutiny. Without spending a lot of time, I did a fast Google search for software and armored vehicles. Oddly enough, what came up was a 1977 Standards for Armored Car and Armed Courier Services, on a .gov site. I've included the URL: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/Digitization/43348NCJRS.pdf.
Wait for it to come up, it takes a while to load.
My guess is that the information about what software security (and possibly physical security) isn't readily available because of the association with military. It would help the credibility of your story to get even ten year old information about tech, and that includes the onboard tech as well as that for dispatchers.
SPAG:
The word itself would make an ass out of u and me' This is a cliché. I think it's okay to sue clichés from time to time, but this one is really old.
like candy at a Halloween party. Do you produce candy at a Halloween party? I wonder if this metaphor misses the mark.
and answer any You need an 's' at the end of 'answer' for the singular verb tense
"She like him thought..." You need a comma after 'she' and after 'him' and I think 'him' should be 'he'. Although I would probably say 'They both' to avoid all the commas and the pronoun weirdness.
"currant day" 'current-day'
Best to you!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
-
Thanks you so much for reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate your comments and suggestions and have taken care of them. Again thanks.
-
I hope it helps and doesn't seem too critical.
-
Yes it does help and no it does not seem critical. When I first joined I literally got torn apart, so first I got tougher then I got smarter LOL
Comment from F. Wehr3
I think this is the first part of your story I've read, but I enjoyed what you had here. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Listen can you and Billy give Henry a call?--Suggest a comma after listen.
We are all working together, we are family." --Recommend two sentences
She like him thought it was rather careless on the business.--Suggest offsetting commas around like him.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
|
I think this is the first part of your story I've read, but I enjoyed what you had here. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Listen can you and Billy give Henry a call?--Suggest a comma after listen.
We are all working together, we are family." --Recommend two sentences
She like him thought it was rather careless on the business.--Suggest offsetting commas around like him.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
-
Thank you so much Russell for reading and then taking the time to review, I really appreciate your comments and suggestions and have made the changes. Again thanks.
