One man's journey to get clean
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Rehab for Gary"Getting clean from meth isn't easy
22 total reviews
Comment from Mary Wakeford
You've written this non-fiction piece with clarity and with compassion and understanding, Patty. Addiction is tough enough to beat without the added burden of bipolar and personality disorder. My nephew, no longer with us, struggled with bipolar and schizophrenia, so I understand the struggle and identified with Gary's challenges having witnessed it first hand with my nephew. There is a great book written by Lori Schiller I believe is her name. It is called The Quiet Room. Lori suffers from schizophrenia and details the up and down road that addiction follows, taken by many to stifle the voices in their head.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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You've written this non-fiction piece with clarity and with compassion and understanding, Patty. Addiction is tough enough to beat without the added burden of bipolar and personality disorder. My nephew, no longer with us, struggled with bipolar and schizophrenia, so I understand the struggle and identified with Gary's challenges having witnessed it first hand with my nephew. There is a great book written by Lori Schiller I believe is her name. It is called The Quiet Room. Lori suffers from schizophrenia and details the up and down road that addiction follows, taken by many to stifle the voices in their head.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and the thoughtful review. Though based on my hopes for my own son dealing with drug addiction, Gary's story is fiction and continues to be my inspiration for prayer. I'm glad you've come along on Gary's journey.
~patty~
Comment from bookishfabler
I enjoyed reading your story. I found no nits or spags that I could see. That must be very traumatizing to find out you are mentally ill. My mother was, and I dealt with growing up, Not easy. I don't know who Gary is. I hope he gets better. At least he has help. Never mind I see it's fiction.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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I enjoyed reading your story. I found no nits or spags that I could see. That must be very traumatizing to find out you are mentally ill. My mother was, and I dealt with growing up, Not easy. I don't know who Gary is. I hope he gets better. At least he has help. Never mind I see it's fiction.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and your thoughtful review. Gary's story is fiction, but it is loosely based on my own hopes and prayers for my son who battle drug addiction. (I believe he has underlying mental issues, but I have yet to see any proof.)
~patty~
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
It appears that you have a dual diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar II. We need to start you on some meds."
I suffer from these conditions and I am thrilled that there is good, no great writer such as yourself prepared to tackle these hard issues face on in such a perfectly and intelligently written way. You keep it interesting and absorbing, I think you have done a stellar job, I feel like you are helping people like me and your work is fantastic. Thankyou Patti, I have no sixes left but I will certainly save one next week or you. Love Meia xx
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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It appears that you have a dual diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar II. We need to start you on some meds."
I suffer from these conditions and I am thrilled that there is good, no great writer such as yourself prepared to tackle these hard issues face on in such a perfectly and intelligently written way. You keep it interesting and absorbing, I think you have done a stellar job, I feel like you are helping people like me and your work is fantastic. Thankyou Patti, I have no sixes left but I will certainly save one next week or you. Love Meia xx
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm honored that you feel the piece deserves six stars. The glitter is merely icing on the story in this one. I hope I can help others that suffer from mental illness and self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
~patty~
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes my friend this is well written when a person is an addict and have other problems it is probably harder for them to come to terms with, so much to take in at once with illnesses that they probably don't understand well done on this write regards Jill
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Yes my friend this is well written when a person is an addict and have other problems it is probably harder for them to come to terms with, so much to take in at once with illnesses that they probably don't understand well done on this write regards Jill
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for stopping by, Jill. As always, your reading and reviewing of my work is greatly appreciated.
~patty~
Comment from doggymad
Thoroughly enjoyable read. Descriptive passages very true to life. Glad to be coming in at the start of this and I look forward to following it as time permits
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thoroughly enjoyable read. Descriptive passages very true to life. Glad to be coming in at the start of this and I look forward to following it as time permits
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your kind words, and hope I don't mess up the telling of this character's story.
~patty~
Comment from nancy_e_davis
You should add ...To be continued...
I have seen a lot about this problem on TV. I wonder why people don't take warning when they see those stories. Drugs can totally ruin your life. Good job. Nancy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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You should add ...To be continued...
I have seen a lot about this problem on TV. I wonder why people don't take warning when they see those stories. Drugs can totally ruin your life. Good job. Nancy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and your thoughtful review. I will add the 'to be continued.' I'm not sure why folks don't heed the warnings we see all over. I truly believe many addicts are self-medicating for other issues, or running away from other problems.
Thank you for following Gary's journey,
~patty~
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
A well written and emotive piece. You did a good job drawing Gary's picture.
he was hooked through the bag. - never heard this expression before.
was just still leery of people - perhaps delete just from here. I don't think you need both just and still.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Hi there,
A well written and emotive piece. You did a good job drawing Gary's picture.
he was hooked through the bag. - never heard this expression before.
was just still leery of people - perhaps delete just from here. I don't think you need both just and still.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading, and as always a thoughtful review. I will make the small edit you suggested.
I appreciate you following Gary's journey,
~patty~
Comment from RGstar
A good continuous story, Patty.
Good use of personal pronoun 'he' in conjunction with the name, ''Gary''
I detected one place you could have perhaps used one less''he'' but very good interaction between the two, considering everything was around, and mostly about, him.
''He was either writhing in pain in the bed or on the floor.''
Here is a sentence we could look at, as could hold similar situations in the future.
Try not to use 'in' preposition so close in a sentence if it can be avoided. One could also take the 'determiner' 'the' away as you had not mentioned a bed before, and usually, one would mention the object before , if using 'the' to refer to it, yet, if it is expected a bed in a room, one can use it without mentioning before. Just be aware of using 'the' as determining the object if not before mentioned.
I might just do something like this, as a suggestion;
''He was either writhing with pain in bed or on the floor.''
''He was either writhing in pain on the bed or on the floor''
This way, we eliminate 'in' once, as well, ''the'' remains, in conjunction with 'bed'' as it is expected a bed there because of the location. Clinic...and a room.
PERIPHERY
One very important thing. This is something I give Bob 'Mastery' credit for over the years, as well a couple of authors who have stepped up after me badgering them.
It is so important to use the periphery, whilst staying to your main theme.
You see, you wrote brilliantly here but you did not use the periphery at all. This is why the senses work when watching a movie, we take in these things at random, and it is what locks us into the story-line.
Without using , we limit our story to more of a documentary.
The minds eye need your narrative of some the other things that surround, Gary. This helps us to view your narrative as if actually being there, at one with your subject.
What I mean by the periphery.
The room, the clinic...the grounds...noisy, quiet...the street outside his window.
The decor in his room...solitude, homely, clinical?
Sounds, material. Characters of nurses, therapist, description of what wearing to give the mind's eye a connection with characters, rather than just mentioning them in black and white.
The ''Group''
any special traits to any of the characters in the group that could define them and would help the reader to define Gary's plight...personalities of any. Such a group would be colourful, yet nothing was mentioned of them, where you could use this to your advantage for building out the story later.
The Periphery is very important. It is the readers link into getting lost in your story.
Now , the important thing, there must be a balance, so don't wonder off with the story writing a chapter on periphery, it has to come in naturally when needed to enhance or describe person or thing...or place.
I would like to see you do well.
Don't dwell on it, just have it in mind and you will soon warm to it.
Hope that helps, somehow.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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A good continuous story, Patty.
Good use of personal pronoun 'he' in conjunction with the name, ''Gary''
I detected one place you could have perhaps used one less''he'' but very good interaction between the two, considering everything was around, and mostly about, him.
''He was either writhing in pain in the bed or on the floor.''
Here is a sentence we could look at, as could hold similar situations in the future.
Try not to use 'in' preposition so close in a sentence if it can be avoided. One could also take the 'determiner' 'the' away as you had not mentioned a bed before, and usually, one would mention the object before , if using 'the' to refer to it, yet, if it is expected a bed in a room, one can use it without mentioning before. Just be aware of using 'the' as determining the object if not before mentioned.
I might just do something like this, as a suggestion;
''He was either writhing with pain in bed or on the floor.''
''He was either writhing in pain on the bed or on the floor''
This way, we eliminate 'in' once, as well, ''the'' remains, in conjunction with 'bed'' as it is expected a bed there because of the location. Clinic...and a room.
PERIPHERY
One very important thing. This is something I give Bob 'Mastery' credit for over the years, as well a couple of authors who have stepped up after me badgering them.
It is so important to use the periphery, whilst staying to your main theme.
You see, you wrote brilliantly here but you did not use the periphery at all. This is why the senses work when watching a movie, we take in these things at random, and it is what locks us into the story-line.
Without using , we limit our story to more of a documentary.
The minds eye need your narrative of some the other things that surround, Gary. This helps us to view your narrative as if actually being there, at one with your subject.
What I mean by the periphery.
The room, the clinic...the grounds...noisy, quiet...the street outside his window.
The decor in his room...solitude, homely, clinical?
Sounds, material. Characters of nurses, therapist, description of what wearing to give the mind's eye a connection with characters, rather than just mentioning them in black and white.
The ''Group''
any special traits to any of the characters in the group that could define them and would help the reader to define Gary's plight...personalities of any. Such a group would be colourful, yet nothing was mentioned of them, where you could use this to your advantage for building out the story later.
The Periphery is very important. It is the readers link into getting lost in your story.
Now , the important thing, there must be a balance, so don't wonder off with the story writing a chapter on periphery, it has to come in naturally when needed to enhance or describe person or thing...or place.
I would like to see you do well.
Don't dwell on it, just have it in mind and you will soon warm to it.
Hope that helps, somehow.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and your very thoughtful and concise review. I can see where 'periphery' would indeed make the story richer and give it more depth. I will do another edit of the story and place my 'sights, sounds, and fringe characters' very carefully.
Thanks again,
~patty~
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If you plan to carry on with the story, just take the thought process to the next chapter. It is a good beginning.
Best wishes.
Take a look at one of Mastery's chapters,if you can, or even Ifawcus...Tony, so to strengthen the ideas of which I speak. I am sure you are going to do very well.
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:) Thank you again.
Comment from c_lucas
I remember the years when anything could be cured by the correct drug. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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I remember the years when anything could be cured by the correct drug. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and the thoughtful review. Gary's story continues to intrigue me and I hope I can bring the chapters to a logical conclusion. I'm glad you've come along on the ride.
~patty~
Comment from Mabaker
I was the result of spousal abuse, parental abuse and one screwed up life. I turned to Serepax mixed with alchole to dull the pain inflicted by a drunken husband and ended up talking about taking a box of sleeping pills.
I too ended up in de-tox did seven weeks drying out and attended two AA meetings a day. I too was diagonised with a mental problem called acute depression. I was transfered to the Mental Health Ward and assigned a case-worker how made me see what had been done to me and the scars left behind led me straight down the path of Prescription Drug abuse. I stayed with my case-worker on an outpatient basis for two full years. I would walk the three miles to her office rain, hail or blinding summer heat. She and AA and The Serenity Prayer saved my life. Now I write about how I came thrugh Hell. Regards Anne.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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I was the result of spousal abuse, parental abuse and one screwed up life. I turned to Serepax mixed with alchole to dull the pain inflicted by a drunken husband and ended up talking about taking a box of sleeping pills.
I too ended up in de-tox did seven weeks drying out and attended two AA meetings a day. I too was diagonised with a mental problem called acute depression. I was transfered to the Mental Health Ward and assigned a case-worker how made me see what had been done to me and the scars left behind led me straight down the path of Prescription Drug abuse. I stayed with my case-worker on an outpatient basis for two full years. I would walk the three miles to her office rain, hail or blinding summer heat. She and AA and The Serenity Prayer saved my life. Now I write about how I came thrugh Hell. Regards Anne.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate hearing about your story, and I sincerely hope the writing is good therapy for you. Gary's journey is fictional, but a hope for my son who battles addiction. (I can only use conjecture about his possible mental issues - I have Bi Polar and Borderline Personality Disorder, so he may have one or the other or possibly both.)
~patty~
