Reviews from

The Amazing Heist

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Discovery"
A team of six plan their final heist.

5 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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This is getting good. Henry is quite brilliant. Things are almost too easy. I hope theyt don't become overconfident. It could be a case for Murphy's Law. The reader will worry too.

 Comment Written 04-May-2022


reply by the author on 05-May-2022
    Thank you so much Liz for reviewing and your fantastic comments.
reply by Liz O'Neill on 05-May-2022
    You're welcome
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Oh, with this discovery, will they no longer need to do the heist? Maybe they can just get their money programmatically? Maybe they can have the banks give money to the homeless shelter anonymously. Lol.

They had all awaken feeling (awakened, feeling)

meet with Paul and I (me) But no one follows this grammar rule anymore so I guess you can keep it, if it feels more natural to you.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
    Thank you so much, Helene for reviewing and your great comments. Those things are fixed. Mmm a homeless shelter, sorry, not likely. It's called 'get a job'. Blessings, hugs n smiles!




reply by lyenochka on 15-Apr-2022
    Well, a lot of shelters do provide employment training if the people are willing. Maybe then to an orphanage...
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
    Okay I will go with an orphanage, lol. (SMILE)
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Alie,

Looks like the plans continue to unfold with great success. Nice! A few notes, though, for you:

1.) With the ease of his expertise slipping into the site. It was as if belonging there and had been there for forever.
--> neither of those is a complete sentence. Need to be corrected, please

2.) that by clicking on one of the routes (he could) gain access to the computer records

Thanks!


 Comment Written 16-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
    Thanks Robyn for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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I love these guys whose conversation jumps from a wages heistb to a fruit loaf in one easy bound. Are companies involved in security really likely to leave open access to their business in this way? I is almost unbelievable but then people do the silliest things with computers take Hillary Clinton for example.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
    Thanks Pantygnt for reading and reviewing, I am glad that this is at least providing you some entertainment. It was actually the stupidity of Hillary that gave me the idea. Sort of a blind trust in the computer gurus, if they say it is good or guaranteed then by George it is. I do so hope to keep entertaining you. It may not be perfect but for me it is fun and for you and other readers at least enjoyable. Again thanks.
Comment from Sixty70
Good
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Henry's story is the focus here. He has discovered that the armored car companies use the same program, or almost the same program, to note their pickup companies. The security for these programs is nonexistent.

I have to say, this strains credulity. Businesses that touch finances have regulations they must follow, including security of programs accessible on the Internet. Consider doing more research to make this part of the story more realistic.

I'd also suggest you read your piece out loud before posting. Following are some difficulties that might have been picked up and corrected in this way:

"They had all awaken feeling recharged.." 'They had awakened...' You can use 'all' but it's unnecessary.

"With breakfast completed and the dishes done he was eager..." You need a comma after 'done'.

"With the ease of his expertise slipping into the site." Try instead: 'With expert ease, he slipped into the site.' Or 'He slipped into the site with expert ease.'

Best to you!

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate your comments and suggestions. I guess we can all dream of or count on one's dumb luck or even stupidity.
reply by Sixty70 on 16-Feb-2017
    Ah, the Forest Gump syndrome. But I think that was written with arrant stupidity for success as the message. Best to you!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
    ?The Forest Gump Syndrome?
reply by Sixty70 on 16-Feb-2017
    Maybe you've never seen the movie Forest Gump (Tom Hanks - I think). He is slow, to say the least, and ends up rich and famous.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
    Ahaa now I understand, yes I have seen it- at least 3 times- a great movie. And now I see the connections- sorry I have slow days.