Wonder of Nature
...calmness fills the air4 total reviews
Comment from suep
You paint a serene scene with your words and enhance it with your presentation. Great artwork choice to complement your work. Nice alliteration with 's'. An enjoyable read. Best wishes in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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You paint a serene scene with your words and enhance it with your presentation. Great artwork choice to complement your work. Nice alliteration with 's'. An enjoyable read. Best wishes in the contest! :)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. Blessings....Portia
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork and background color completed the piece very well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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A well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork and background color completed the piece very well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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Winnona,
Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and best wishes....Blessings
Comment from marybell1
A beautifully written sedoka. with the two contrasting stanzas, and following the
5-7-7 rule. I paints a lovely picture.
Congratulations.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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A beautifully written sedoka. with the two contrasting stanzas, and following the
5-7-7 rule. I paints a lovely picture.
Congratulations.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments.........
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You're welcome
Marybell1.
Comment from rama devi
What wonderful artwork! I enjoyed your poem's simplicity and sincerity as well as the medley of consonance S, Soft C and P...giving hushed phonetics that match the theme and tone.
Love this line best:
transporting silence and peace
Read the above aloud thrice!
This line:
...serenity fills the air
irked me slightly because I found the ellipses preceding it distracting. Suggest using a dash after the previous line instead.
transporting silence and peace -
serenity fills the air
I also found the ellipses here and imprecise choice (in my opinion):
Clouds cover the sky...
standing strong in formation -
suggest:
Clouds cover the sky,
standing strong in formation -
Your syllable count is correct.
The phonetics are wonderful. Nice imagery.
Good luck~!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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What wonderful artwork! I enjoyed your poem's simplicity and sincerity as well as the medley of consonance S, Soft C and P...giving hushed phonetics that match the theme and tone.
Love this line best:
transporting silence and peace
Read the above aloud thrice!
This line:
...serenity fills the air
irked me slightly because I found the ellipses preceding it distracting. Suggest using a dash after the previous line instead.
transporting silence and peace -
serenity fills the air
I also found the ellipses here and imprecise choice (in my opinion):
Clouds cover the sky...
standing strong in formation -
suggest:
Clouds cover the sky,
standing strong in formation -
Your syllable count is correct.
The phonetics are wonderful. Nice imagery.
Good luck~!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 10-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and suggestions. I made the changes, I really appreciate your kindness and help........Blessings..............
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So happy to be of help. Thanks for your kind response.
Blessings, rd
