The Amazing Heist
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Henry"A team of six plan their final heist.
6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is funny to read as a non-math person:
"There was a little disappointment in the depth of the challenge." This is some funny tongue-in-cheek humor: "Henry's habit of talking to himself while working on the computer was parching. " A fine irony: "armored trucks doing security service pick-ups and there is no security." The reader finds themselves rooting for & admiring Henry.
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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This is funny to read as a non-math person:
"There was a little disappointment in the depth of the challenge." This is some funny tongue-in-cheek humor: "Henry's habit of talking to himself while working on the computer was parching. " A fine irony: "armored trucks doing security service pick-ups and there is no security." The reader finds themselves rooting for & admiring Henry.
Comment Written 04-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Thank you so very much Liz for reviewing and your great comments.
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***smile***
Comment from lyenochka
It's great that they have Henry on the team. I liked the way you described his beer drinking and his viewing four monitors. It's true that many companies don't do enough security as they have found out with all these Russian hackers lately!
Suggestion:
'Take your time Frank, it's going to be a great evening.' He thought.
"Take your time, Frank. It's going to be a great evening,' he thought.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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It's great that they have Henry on the team. I liked the way you described his beer drinking and his viewing four monitors. It's true that many companies don't do enough security as they have found out with all these Russian hackers lately!
Suggestion:
'Take your time Frank, it's going to be a great evening.' He thought.
"Take your time, Frank. It's going to be a great evening,' he thought.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you for reviewing and your amazing comments, Helene. I will fix that in a moment. Blessings, hugs n smiles!
Comment from Mabaker
Well we had to have a computer geek. No good heist can go forward without one. I'd love to 'know' computers. They are such silent mysteries all boxed up saying nothing. So now I have caught up with each chapter, and looking forward to the rest of your great story. Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Well we had to have a computer geek. No good heist can go forward without one. I'd love to 'know' computers. They are such silent mysteries all boxed up saying nothing. So now I have caught up with each chapter, and looking forward to the rest of your great story. Love U Anne.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Awwww thank you so much Anne, it won't be until Monday that I post anything else. I am giving my brain a break LOL. I will keep you entertained for a little while. Luv U
Comment from Pantygynt
I am glad you had Henry actually talk to himself towards the end. He could have done that earlier. Like the previous episode this is short ort on show and too long on tell. Frankly I cannot believe a company involved in securely transferring cash would have no security on its computers.
At some stage you are going to have to befriend a computer nerd and have him help you blind us with the science of Henry's computer skills. Show us how he does it.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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I am glad you had Henry actually talk to himself towards the end. He could have done that earlier. Like the previous episode this is short ort on show and too long on tell. Frankly I cannot believe a company involved in securely transferring cash would have no security on its computers.
At some stage you are going to have to befriend a computer nerd and have him help you blind us with the science of Henry's computer skills. Show us how he does it.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Aha good points, I will definitely look at that idea, especially since this is a work in progress, I can change things around and create surprises. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Alie. Sorry I have missed so much. I am up to my neck in writing and reviewing as it is, but do miss your story.
I like some of your imagery in this chapter, like "He stretched for a moment to loosen up his shoulders, stood up and went to the fridge for a beer." (You just need more of it throughout for more natural sound, my friend.
Suggestions: " a whiz at fixing what some thought to be not fixable" Try thought to be irrepairable" or "what some thought "could not be fixed" Just sounds better, I think, Alie.
And: Eliminate the consistent use of the pronoun, "he" by using the name Henry from time to time like here: "He was not surprised that Abby had assigned. Instead say, (Henry was not surprised that Abby ,,,, etc etc."
And: "A deep swallow finished off the first beer..." don't you mean a"big" swallow?
Good job, my friend. Keep at it. Remember more detail makes a clearer picture to the reader. Blessings, Bob
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Hi, Alie. Sorry I have missed so much. I am up to my neck in writing and reviewing as it is, but do miss your story.
I like some of your imagery in this chapter, like "He stretched for a moment to loosen up his shoulders, stood up and went to the fridge for a beer." (You just need more of it throughout for more natural sound, my friend.
Suggestions: " a whiz at fixing what some thought to be not fixable" Try thought to be irrepairable" or "what some thought "could not be fixed" Just sounds better, I think, Alie.
And: Eliminate the consistent use of the pronoun, "he" by using the name Henry from time to time like here: "He was not surprised that Abby had assigned. Instead say, (Henry was not surprised that Abby ,,,, etc etc."
And: "A deep swallow finished off the first beer..." don't you mean a"big" swallow?
Good job, my friend. Keep at it. Remember more detail makes a clearer picture to the reader. Blessings, Bob
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Wow, thanks so much Bob, I really value your input. I like your ideas and they do make such sense. I feel honored that you were so busy but still took time to read this. Thanks again for making my day. Blessings Alie.
Comment from Sixty70
Again, you are moving forward. I'm glad beer and pizza will do it for Henry.
What exactly is he hacking into? Certainly not the armored car? Maybe the armored car company? And the companies only use one or two programs? What do the programs do? After reading, I have a lot of questions!
You write: "He had the equipment that was powerful enough to do so." What does this mean? Powerful enough to do what?
Consider some in-depth research so that you can give the reader enough details to not ask these types of questions. If your team consists of experts, they need to sound like they know whereof they speak!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Again, you are moving forward. I'm glad beer and pizza will do it for Henry.
What exactly is he hacking into? Certainly not the armored car? Maybe the armored car company? And the companies only use one or two programs? What do the programs do? After reading, I have a lot of questions!
You write: "He had the equipment that was powerful enough to do so." What does this mean? Powerful enough to do what?
Consider some in-depth research so that you can give the reader enough details to not ask these types of questions. If your team consists of experts, they need to sound like they know whereof they speak!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Gotcha and what you suggest makes sense. I do see where you are coming from. Thank you for following my endeavors, I really appreciate it.
