Comment from Gaye Hemsley

Excellent

Hi Gypsy A very colourful Haiku. Lots of adjectives which I have been told to avoid the over use of adjectives in Haiku What are you thoughts? Cheers Gaye

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017

My thought about that is that many Americans are very a....l about haiku rules and miss the point.
Haiku is an intuitive visual poetry form. Grasping the essence of a moment in time it's the most important part. It should be as brief as possible but one must not sacrifice the words that matter. That is not an easy thing to do. As you know.

Thank you, sweetie pie. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review. :)

Comment from susan18

Excellent

Lovely!
Amazing how so few words can evoke such a beautiful image.
Love the use or hot colors like orange & tangerine--I can feel their warmth!

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

That is the beauty of haiku--few words huge meaning. : [)

Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

HI, MariVal,

I enjoyed this well written haiku and was also pleased to learn a new word--cerise. The haiku captures an observable moment in time (no desk haiku) and deploys excellent word economy and effectiveness. The satori is superb.

If I had any suggestion at all it would be to reduce the size of the appended artwork. For me, it overpowers the haiku. A more proportional balance between size of the artwork and the haiku would strike a nice balance.

Excellent writing.
Ray

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Thank you very much, Ray :) Your suggestion makes perfect sense. I will make the change. I am humbled by your review. I respect your opinion. Your haiku are some of my fanstory favorite haiku. *smiles*

reply by mountainwriter49 on 14-Jan-2017

Thank you, MariVal. You are so very kind. :-)
Ray

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

cerise somber dusk

veils placid Orange River --

sweet tangerine dreams

Gypsy,

I like the tight orangey imagery this poem has. I can see the poem in my mind without the photo/artwork. Thanks!

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Thank YOU sweetie pie :) You have a broad mind. LoL

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

'tangerine dreams'...oh my! Six virtual stars for that line alone!! How beautiful. I would love to see the Orange River...or any part of Africa. 'Cerise'...love that too....very original. One of your loveliest haiku's, blessings...

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Blessings back at ya' :)

Comment from Unspoken94

Exceptional

Even though I have reviewed countless haiku's (mostly yours)
I still appreciate your "Tips for review." This one is clearly
a classical one. Thanks. =Bill

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Wow! A six! Thank you :)) It's always so good to see your name in my review box, I hope you are doing well, Bill. Thank you. :)

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Beautiful picture you've used for your Haiku presentation and great description in your opening two lines. Love the way you've veiled the river in the sunset. Who wouldn't have sweet dreams after witnessing such a sunset. Beautiful all round.
cheers.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Thank you, your opinion matters to me and it's very helpful for my writing process. :)

Comment from djsaxon

Exceptional

Hi, Gypsy. Adherence to syllabic form (of course). It made me feel calm. It evoked memories of beautiful Australian sunsets. Grammatical connection is seamless. Gentle sartori. Cheers - DJ

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Hello, my friend, I haven't seen you 'round these parts for a while. Thank you very much for the lovely six stars.

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

HI Gypsy, I wish I were the one that took this picture...it's amazing...what wonderful dreams I would have...so very beautifully written my sweet friend...and your picture is amazing...love ya Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Luv ya

reply by l.raven on 14-Jan-2017

love ya too...xxoo love

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Vivid, descriptive and highly original. Love the phonetics (you know i love those S sounds with soft C too). Nice subtle consonance of M in somber and dreams as well and good consonance fo L in veils adn placid. Artsy presentation.

Love, rd

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

Thank you, sweetie rama devi

namaste
gypsy buddha blessings

reply by rama devi on 14-Jan-2017

:-))))))))))))) Sweetie Sister! Hugs!

reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017

:)

reply by rama devi on 14-Jan-2017

:)