A Dirty Deadline
see notes for a word list26 total reviews
Comment from #Peace
Bravo! I am utterly amazed that you were able to create a comprehensive, cohesive, and colourful poem from those random words! What a challenge! Truly reflects on your talent poetess!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
Bravo! I am utterly amazed that you were able to create a comprehensive, cohesive, and colourful poem from those random words! What a challenge! Truly reflects on your talent poetess!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Thank you very much. I am glad you liked is so much. "Use these words" challenges are my favorite. They make you have to think about new kinds of uses for the words or new metaphors.
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Comment from Winslow
Dear Dragonpoet,
Good use of the words required to be included in this poem. If one doesn't zero in on what is needed in this world it can lead to an early grave.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
Dear Dragonpoet,
Good use of the words required to be included in this poem. If one doesn't zero in on what is needed in this world it can lead to an early grave.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Winslow, for the kind words and generous rating.
Joan
Comment from robyn corum
DP,
This was definitely a fun use of those words! It was creative and unusual and totally unexpected. *smile* I enjoyed the fun nature of the rhyming words at the end of each stanza. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
DP,
This was definitely a fun use of those words! It was creative and unusual and totally unexpected. *smile* I enjoyed the fun nature of the rhyming words at the end of each stanza. Nicely done!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Glad you thought it was fun. Thank you.
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Comment from Mark Valentine
Very creative weaving of the prompt words into the poem. I love the stand alone "oom" words - the fact that they stand alone adds to the drama and sense of urgency that the poem addresses. And the last stanza, of course, contains a lesson that many of us need to remind ourselves of daily.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
Very creative weaving of the prompt words into the poem. I love the stand alone "oom" words - the fact that they stand alone adds to the drama and sense of urgency that the poem addresses. And the last stanza, of course, contains a lesson that many of us need to remind ourselves of daily.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Glad you like the use of the words and the drama added by the single words. Thank you.
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Comment from sue133
Such a clever poem about all the things we worry about and maybe shouldn't. I really like the way you have composed it with the last word at the end of every line.
Susan
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
Such a clever poem about all the things we worry about and maybe shouldn't. I really like the way you have composed it with the last word at the end of every line.
Susan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the words of encouragement. This is now one of my favorite rhyme schemes. Though I try not to overuse it.
Joan
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem with a valuable lesson for all of us. We chasing deadlines for everything we do in our lives ibstead of just enjoy what we do.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
A very well-written poem with a valuable lesson for all of us. We chasing deadlines for everything we do in our lives ibstead of just enjoy what we do.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
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Thank you very much for the review and all the stars.
Joan
Comment from Dawn Munro
I think you did a commendable job with the words you were challenged to use - your poem's message is a powerful one. I especially liked the idea of zooming in on our views; that 'his is a shallow look at life' - too many views are just that!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
I think you did a commendable job with the words you were challenged to use - your poem's message is a powerful one. I especially liked the idea of zooming in on our views; that 'his is a shallow look at life' - too many views are just that!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the positive commets and high rating.
dp
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You're welcome.
Comment from Sixty70
I don't write or usually review poetry, but your title captured my attention. I lived for 15 years plus working to deadlines! I understand this was written for a contest, with words specified. The last line, single syllable, rhyming scheme is very strong. Liked it a lot. The meter that worked best for me was the first stanza - 5/4/5/4/1 - and I wondered if it would give this poem more pop to continue that meter throughout. In the third stanza, second line, I wasn't sure whether the word should be 'this' or 'his'. 'This' seemed to make more sense to me. I also wondered if using punctuation would enhance the meaning. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
I don't write or usually review poetry, but your title captured my attention. I lived for 15 years plus working to deadlines! I understand this was written for a contest, with words specified. The last line, single syllable, rhyming scheme is very strong. Liked it a lot. The meter that worked best for me was the first stanza - 5/4/5/4/1 - and I wondered if it would give this poem more pop to continue that meter throughout. In the third stanza, second line, I wasn't sure whether the word should be 'this' or 'his'. 'This' seemed to make more sense to me. I also wondered if using punctuation would enhance the meaning. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the thorough review. I will check the meter and the possible spelling error.
Glad you could relate.
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Comment from Dr. Nad
A Dirty Deadline Is a fun little poem that reminds us that there is something called the tyranny of the urgent. All of us. The come to the pressures of everyday life that call. Let us challenge us to respond quickly in order to avoid disaster. You remind us playfully that it could be fun or hard work that ultimately deprives us of the essence of enjoyable life. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
A Dirty Deadline Is a fun little poem that reminds us that there is something called the tyranny of the urgent. All of us. The come to the pressures of everyday life that call. Let us challenge us to respond quickly in order to avoid disaster. You remind us playfully that it could be fun or hard work that ultimately deprives us of the essence of enjoyable life. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the insightful and encouraging remarks. I appreciate the high rating.
dp
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You are welcome.
Embrace the love from above.
Comment from tfawcus
Rich onomatopaeic overtones to the rhyming end words. The allowed word choices predispose towards a poem somewhat on the dark side, as this is. You have some interesting use of enjambment here, especially with 'zoom / lens'. Good luck with your entry!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
Rich onomatopaeic overtones to the rhyming end words. The allowed word choices predispose towards a poem somewhat on the dark side, as this is. You have some interesting use of enjambment here, especially with 'zoom / lens'. Good luck with your entry!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
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Thanks for the thourouogh and encouraging review. I appreciate the high rating and good luck wishes.
Joan