A Lotus Can Grow
With a little sunshine11 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
Congratulations on your win, June. Indeed the lotus is a potent symbol of beauty arising from darkness, a theme you highlight throughout the poem.
I did wonder if the third stanza perhaps contradicted the message of the other two to some extent. here you are saying a child (or adult) needs someone to care for and nurture them if they are going to reach their potential. Is that not a bit different from the teen who improves his life despite 'crushing poverty and abuse'?
Lovely piece, though.
Steve
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Congratulations on your win, June. Indeed the lotus is a potent symbol of beauty arising from darkness, a theme you highlight throughout the poem.
I did wonder if the third stanza perhaps contradicted the message of the other two to some extent. here you are saying a child (or adult) needs someone to care for and nurture them if they are going to reach their potential. Is that not a bit different from the teen who improves his life despite 'crushing poverty and abuse'?
Lovely piece, though.
Steve
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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appreciate your insights and suggestion. will review and possibly revise. always room for improvement. thanks!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
What an encouraging poem about a spiritual flower -- the lotus -- which can grow in the worst conditions.
The fact that children can do the same, sort of "bloom where they are planted" is a great way to characterize their ability to overcome odds.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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What an encouraging poem about a spiritual flower -- the lotus -- which can grow in the worst conditions.
The fact that children can do the same, sort of "bloom where they are planted" is a great way to characterize their ability to overcome odds.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for your insightful review!
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
This is a beautiful, inspiring poem. I very much enjoyed the read. You met the guideline requirements perfectly. The poem is not only heart touching but it offers lots of food for thought. Thanks for sharing your optimistic viewpoint. So positive. Wish I still had a 6 to send your way. All the best to you, Aggie
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is a beautiful, inspiring poem. I very much enjoyed the read. You met the guideline requirements perfectly. The poem is not only heart touching but it offers lots of food for thought. Thanks for sharing your optimistic viewpoint. So positive. Wish I still had a 6 to send your way. All the best to you, Aggie
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you !
Comment from winnona
This is a well-written contest entry. Your well-chosen words flowed line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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This is a well-written contest entry. Your well-chosen words flowed line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thank you very much!
Comment from RYME4U
I like the sentiment and feelings you have expressed here. The message is uplifting and the rhymes are well chosen. I like the lotus metaphor, too, Very well done.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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I like the sentiment and feelings you have expressed here. The message is uplifting and the rhymes are well chosen. I like the lotus metaphor, too, Very well done.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much for your kind comments!
Comment from cflorian8
Very beautiful and very true. Too many children and teens have wrongly stereotyped a riffraff based on where they grow up. Instead, young people deserve a chance to be something more than what society perceives them to be. Every youngster is a special lotus flower that wants to soak up the knowledge this world offers. All they need is a chance.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Very beautiful and very true. Too many children and teens have wrongly stereotyped a riffraff based on where they grow up. Instead, young people deserve a chance to be something more than what society perceives them to be. Every youngster is a special lotus flower that wants to soak up the knowledge this world offers. All they need is a chance.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for your insightful review and high rating!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written repeating poem. A Lotus can grow to a most beautiful flower from the darkest muddiest water.
Prosperous New Year to you and your family.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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A very well-written repeating poem. A Lotus can grow to a most beautiful flower from the darkest muddiest water.
Prosperous New Year to you and your family.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your kind comments!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Your choice of repeated line is simply lovely. It speaks to hope with such subtle imagery and is really quite haunting as it stays with the reader. The piece is very well constructed and reads beautifully aloud. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Your choice of repeated line is simply lovely. It speaks to hope with such subtle imagery and is really quite haunting as it stays with the reader. The piece is very well constructed and reads beautifully aloud. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Comment from EricBrady
A great entry for the contest. Great aabb rhyming and excellent age progression through the stanzas. Excellent flow and a wonderful message. If we focus on achieving our dreams and apply the effort, then they can become reality, even in the darkest and murkiest situations. Best wishes in the contest and have a wonderful New Year.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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A great entry for the contest. Great aabb rhyming and excellent age progression through the stanzas. Excellent flow and a wonderful message. If we focus on achieving our dreams and apply the effort, then they can become reality, even in the darkest and murkiest situations. Best wishes in the contest and have a wonderful New Year.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your kind review!
Comment from rama devi
I love the Lotus flower metaphor, as it is one my guru uses often in her talks. This is a touching poem...inspired.
From the darkest waters a lotus can grow
Around the rocks a river can flow
I like the pairing of these two images of overcoming obstacles and adjusting ourselves always in a positive direction. Well voiced!
Fine flow and rhyming.
Thoughtful work and lovely presentation. Enjoyed.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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I love the Lotus flower metaphor, as it is one my guru uses often in her talks. This is a touching poem...inspired.
From the darkest waters a lotus can grow
Around the rocks a river can flow
I like the pairing of these two images of overcoming obstacles and adjusting ourselves always in a positive direction. Well voiced!
Fine flow and rhyming.
Thoughtful work and lovely presentation. Enjoyed.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your encouraging review. After reading an article on kids who beat the odds to improve their lot in life, I felt this was an appropriate metaphor.
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:-)))