Young love
Tyburn9 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I don't understand how these slipped by unless they were blind entries.
This is excellently done with the use of the words in the 5th through the 8th syllable place. Nicely worded sentences
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I don't understand how these slipped by unless they were blind entries.
This is excellently done with the use of the words in the 5th through the 8th syllable place. Nicely worded sentences
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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That answers a lot of questions 😊😊 This was a piece which someone reviewed and told me I did it all wrong. Glad I didn't change it.
Thanks for your assessment and rating
Comment from Bill Schott
This tyburn, Young Love, has the correct set up and takes us back to reflect on what we felt and thought we knew way back when as opposed or compared to how we see things now. Hope is that our feelings and aspirations endured and strengthened over time.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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This tyburn, Young Love, has the correct set up and takes us back to reflect on what we felt and thought we knew way back when as opposed or compared to how we see things now. Hope is that our feelings and aspirations endured and strengthened over time.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for your comparison. I think for many people those hopes are dashed (divorce rate !) However, I liked your review and am very grateful for your positive response and 5 stars.
Comment from winnona
a well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork completed the piece.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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a well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork completed the piece.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much. Even if it didn't win I had fun writing it. I appreciate your positive review and stars.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tyburn. Young lovers think love is only about the kissing and cuddling, the first problem they encounter can drive them miles apart, they don't know it is hard to work on a good relationship.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2016
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A very well-written Tyburn. Young lovers think love is only about the kissing and cuddling, the first problem they encounter can drive them miles apart, they don't know it is hard to work on a good relationship.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2016
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Well said ! Too many are married before they find out . Thanks so much for reviewing and the 5 stars,.
Comment from RChapman
Hi,
You have chosen a good topic and the end question doesn't even exist in a teenagers world, its only something we learn with experience!
I've only rated you a 3 as even though you have incorporated your initial four lines in the last 2 and made them rhyme, the question states that lines 1, 2, 3 & 4 must all rhyme with each other, so I think as it is now, your poem would be dismissed from the competition.....you have time to edit it though :)
Good luck with the competition!!
Rachel
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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Hi,
You have chosen a good topic and the end question doesn't even exist in a teenagers world, its only something we learn with experience!
I've only rated you a 3 as even though you have incorporated your initial four lines in the last 2 and made them rhyme, the question states that lines 1, 2, 3 & 4 must all rhyme with each other, so I think as it is now, your poem would be dismissed from the competition.....you have time to edit it though :)
Good luck with the competition!!
Rachel
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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I find your review confusing.
Giggling kissing, cuddling, caring "...............what does not rhym?
Please clarify.
Thanks for taking 3.stars worth time to read it
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I did read your poem and took the time to write you a reply which I assumed would be helpful to you. I am somewhat perturbed that your response is to suggest that I haven't spent any time reading it or that I have commented just to rubbish your work.
However, seeing as its Christmas day I will dismiss your comment above and explain with an example:
The words 'giggling kissing, cuddling, caring' all end with '-ing', however this does not mean that the rhyme.
Something that rhymes with each below:
Giggling - Wriggling
Kissing - Missing
Cuddling - Muddling
Caring - Sharing
If you read through these you will hear the rhyme clearly and notice that its not just the '-ing' that needs to be included in the sound of the word but also the preceding consonant and vowel, so for kissing you need to find a word that rhymes with the '-issing' part.
Anyway, I hope this is a bit clearer and you can now see where I was coming from, I was genuinely trying to offer you some advice.
Rachel
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Thank you for your help. I was disappointed being the first time for 3 stars
We'll see what happens
Comment from RodG
I don't know if one can accurately describe "young love" as it exists for today's generation, but you certainly have given this reader food for thought. I think this generation is very affectionate (kissing, cuddling) and often quite selfless (caring), but your real message comes through in your last two lines: HOW LASTING is their love for one another? Message nicely conveyed in this format.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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I don't know if one can accurately describe "young love" as it exists for today's generation, but you certainly have given this reader food for thought. I think this generation is very affectionate (kissing, cuddling) and often quite selfless (caring), but your real message comes through in your last two lines: HOW LASTING is their love for one another? Message nicely conveyed in this format.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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Thanks for your thoughts, review and stars
Comment from rjuselius
aawww. this is such a sweet piece of poetry dear anonymous! however, you haven't followed the rules in the second line. the descriptions should start at the fifth word, not the fourth. fix this and i'll fix my rating.
thanks for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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aawww. this is such a sweet piece of poetry dear anonymous! however, you haven't followed the rules in the second line. the descriptions should start at the fifth word, not the fourth. fix this and i'll fix my rating.
thanks for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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Thanks for helping. I think I fixed it now
Comment from Poetic Friend
In its brevity, you creatively described teen love. I enjoyed hearing and seeing the giggling and cuddling. This poem is universal, and probably will bring out nostalgic memories from readers.
Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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In its brevity, you creatively described teen love. I enjoyed hearing and seeing the giggling and cuddling. This poem is universal, and probably will bring out nostalgic memories from readers.
Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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A lovel review, and stars thanks
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a very funny little poem. It speaks of the happiness that teenagers find in everything (giggling), but also of the fleeting nature of their affections.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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This is a very funny little poem. It speaks of the happiness that teenagers find in everything (giggling), but also of the fleeting nature of their affections.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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Thanks for appreciating my poem ! Also the 5 stars are well received. Muchos gracias !!!
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No problem.
