Reviews from

symphony

a 5 7 5 nature

4 total reviews 
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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A well-written contest entry. Your well-chosen words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork completed the piece.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2016

reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
    Thanks for the review, cheers, j
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This 5-7-5 about nature, Symphony, has the idea of harmony of movement and bird calling blended with a bright, opening forest scene to drive the notion of symphony home to the reader. Nice.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
    Thanks for the insightful review. I love the sounds of the forest and have season's tickets to this symphony. Cheers, j
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Fine entry for the contest and nice presentation.

I love the music of nature Enjoyed the medley of S sounds in all lines as well as the alliteration of B., The imagery is good. I recommend making birdsong one word. Also recommend not using a period, especially without caps. It would be fine to keep though, if you prefer.


Warmly, rd


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
    Thanks for the helpful review. Your suggestions always improve the poem. Did you take classes? I entered this one, then drew a complete blank. Namaste, j
reply by rama devi on 20-Dec-2016
    I took only one of the FS classes, many yeas back, which was offered to me for free by the teacher. It was in flash fiction. All peotry study has been independent and via writing sites like this one...no formal classes--not since high school, that is. :) Namaste, dear.

    Hugs, rd
Comment from RodG
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice focus on the musical (audio) images found in what could be a rain forest. This is enhanced by the soft S alliteration + consonance so we actually hear a symphony.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
    Thanks for the insightful review. Rama devi gives me such great guidance on my haikus, and reviews like yours are very encouraging. I learn so much from this site. Cheers, j
reply by RodG on 20-Dec-2016
    Glad I could be helpful. Rod
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
    Cheers, j