haiku suite--burning warehouse traps
Haiku Club Challenge # 1 fire76 total reviews
Comment from ciliverde
This is most excellent, and moving in various ways - grief for the lost friend, horror at the smell of ashes, the charred Shiva...so much here that is difficult, emotional, and real. I love what you've done, and while each haiku can stand alone, together the suite forms a gestalt.
Carol
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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This is most excellent, and moving in various ways - grief for the lost friend, horror at the smell of ashes, the charred Shiva...so much here that is difficult, emotional, and real. I love what you've done, and while each haiku can stand alone, together the suite forms a gestalt.
Carol
Comment Written 25-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2016
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Yes, Carol, thank you for your generous, heartfelt review. The whole experience of losing so many artists has been hard on all of us here in the Bay Area and throughout the world. I did the best I could to channel my grief into art as a tribute to these talented people who had their whole lives ahead of them. Thank you for your review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I like your series of Haikus linked together to add to your original memorial for the people who were killed in the fire. I did read your last one, and was touched by the pain and horror you felt. I'm glad you continued on so people won't forget.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I like your series of Haikus linked together to add to your original memorial for the people who were killed in the fire. I did read your last one, and was touched by the pain and horror you felt. I'm glad you continued on so people won't forget.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Yes, Rhonda, I continued on so people won't forget. I attended a poetry reading-fundraiser for the fire victims last night. I performed my "Ghost Ship" poem while others performed their own "Ghost Ship" poem. We poets are determined not to let the world forget who died. Thank you for your generous review.
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I'm sure it was a stirring tribute, and it's great that you were able to be a part of it!
Comment from sunnilicious
Wonderful haiku suite. Sorry to find out that it's based upon true happenings, especially around the holiday season. Well thought out and nicely written poem. Very sad. Nice work. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Wonderful haiku suite. Sorry to find out that it's based upon true happenings, especially around the holiday season. Well thought out and nicely written poem. Very sad. Nice work. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Yes, sunnilicious, this will be a somber holiday for many in the Bay Area effected by this tragedy. Thank you for your review and condolences.
Comment from Aussie
A story poem that wrenches the heart. People simply enjoying a night of music and fun. Dreadful fire took so many and nothing to do. Interesting that a charred carving of Shiva survived the holocaust. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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A story poem that wrenches the heart. People simply enjoying a night of music and fun. Dreadful fire took so many and nothing to do. Interesting that a charred carving of Shiva survived the holocaust. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Yes, Aussie, I was surprised to see that charred Shiva sculpture inside the entrance way. There were other carvings that survived, too, of elephants. These all must have been near the main door through which the firefighters sprayed water. It was a dreadful, heart wrenching tragedy. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from lancellot
This is very well crafted. I read several articles about that incident. I thought it was very telling when a council member suggested removing people from another illegally occupied warehouse that is also not up to code (by the people squatting in it). That council member was harassed and attacked.
It was tragic, but what can you do when people openly defy the laws and move into places that they don't own.
It is scary. In some states, people can break into your home, hurt themselves and then they can sue you for their injuries. And lawyers will help them.
Thought provoking work, Sis Cat.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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This is very well crafted. I read several articles about that incident. I thought it was very telling when a council member suggested removing people from another illegally occupied warehouse that is also not up to code (by the people squatting in it). That council member was harassed and attacked.
It was tragic, but what can you do when people openly defy the laws and move into places that they don't own.
It is scary. In some states, people can break into your home, hurt themselves and then they can sue you for their injuries. And lawyers will help them.
Thought provoking work, Sis Cat.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Lancellot, and the ironic thing is that out of the thirty-six people who died, only one was a resident of the warehouse. The other thirty-five were guests of the concert party who did not know the layout of the building or that there was an open kitchen window on the second floor BEHIND the movie screen. With the exception of one, all of the residents of the warehouse got out, grabbing pets, and artwork, while the guests got lost in the maze or crowded on the staircase made from pallets. This was tragic.
Thank you for your review of my "thought provoking work."
Comment from mbroyles2
A wonderful tribute poem to those who lost their lives in this tragic fire.
Wonderfully executed with each stage building on the next.
Terrific imagery displayed.
I can only imagine how you must feel.
Good job!
Michael
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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A wonderful tribute poem to those who lost their lives in this tragic fire.
Wonderfully executed with each stage building on the next.
Terrific imagery displayed.
I can only imagine how you must feel.
Good job!
Michael
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Michael, it was horrible. I attended a poetry reading-fundraiser for the fire victims last night and there were tears all around. Some poets wrote poems imagining how it was like for the victims last moments, knowing that they were going to die.
Thank you for your review of my tribute and for your condolences. I appreciate them.
Comment from mermaids
Your words are touching and feelings of loss and sadness come forth. Your haiku form appeals to the senses, the reader can see, smell and touch the experience of those lost in the fire. The last line "Christmas without friend" shows how many victims there are. Many are affected by the tragedy and the loss of life.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Your words are touching and feelings of loss and sadness come forth. Your haiku form appeals to the senses, the reader can see, smell and touch the experience of those lost in the fire. The last line "Christmas without friend" shows how many victims there are. Many are affected by the tragedy and the loss of life.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Yes, mermaids, I am amazed at how many people in my region were touched by the tragedy. I attended a poetry reading-fundraiser last night where several poets knew the victims, read poems from the victims, or had performed at the Ghost Ship earlier. I wrote haiku to appeal to the senses I felt, saw, and smelled when I visited the memorial outside the ruins. Thank you for your review and condolences.
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It is always so tragic to lose so many people who were artists. Elaine
Comment from robyn corum
What a sad and horrid commentary on life. This poem is so sad, Andre. It's devastating to think that so many people lost their lives in this way! Thanks for this reminder of them. Hugs-
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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What a sad and horrid commentary on life. This poem is so sad, Andre. It's devastating to think that so many people lost their lives in this way! Thanks for this reminder of them. Hugs-
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Yes, Robyn, this is sad, devastating. I performed at a poetry reading-fundraiser last night where people grieved through their poetry. Thank you for your review.
Comment from June Sargent
A fitting tribute to the tragic victims and their families. There is no excuse for such wanton acts of neglect. Your poem will keep their memories alive. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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A fitting tribute to the tragic victims and their families. There is no excuse for such wanton acts of neglect. Your poem will keep their memories alive. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thank you, June, for your review and condolences. I performed my earlier "Ghost Ship" poem at a poetry reading-fundraiser last and am impressed at the variety, depth, anger, and pain of the poems performed to ensure that we will keep alive the memories of the victims. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Joan E.
I read your previous work about the tragedy and admired your appeal to our sense of smell as well as sight in this haiku series, where each stanza stands alone as well as woven together as a group. The "Shiva" symbolism in the fourth haiku is quite memorable. Memorializing the poinsettias was very effective as well. Warm regards- Joan
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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I read your previous work about the tragedy and admired your appeal to our sense of smell as well as sight in this haiku series, where each stanza stands alone as well as woven together as a group. The "Shiva" symbolism in the fourth haiku is quite memorable. Memorializing the poinsettias was very effective as well. Warm regards- Joan
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Joan, for your review. I performed my "Ghost Ship" poem at a fundraiser last night for the fire victims. One upside to this tragedy is the sheer output of creativity from mourners. When I visited the ruins last Wednesday, mourners had left sculptures, tapestries, paintings, prints, poems, and drawings. I myself performed my "Ghost Ship" poem in front of the ruins and struggled against tears to make it to the end. I am glad you found my poem effective to convey this tragedy.
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I am glad you had the courage to perform your work. It is good to hear that mourners are uniting through art. Thank you again for sharing your tributes. -Joan
