Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hi what a nice peom! I am awed by how you nailed the style and structure and yet keep it so full of life. I have so much trouble with form...well done

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for your gracious review!

Jeni

Comment from johnwilson

Excellent

Thank you for posting this beautiful elegy to your son! I wasn't on the site then; however, your writing abilities are clear to me. This needs nothing but to be read. I appreciate the lack of punctuation. (I love the music you listen to as well. They are my favorites)

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for your review! Glad you weren't put off by the lack of punctuation, some were. So we have music in common!

jeni

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Uhm ... sounds dreamy. Your excellent use of words and phrases work to create a certain mood that takes the reader to a place that should be pleasant and relaxing. That is where I was transported to and I enjoyed the trip thoroughly. very good writing.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for the kind review. I'm honored.

jeni

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This tri-fall poem, Dreamy, has all the syllables and rhyme right, and it carries a message of love and connection with all of our influencers.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Bill, thanks so much for your kind and encouraging review.

jeni

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Lovely meditative adn reflective write, dear Luna. Fine flow and unique style wiht minimal punctuation and no caps, which suits the tone and tenor of your theme well and delivers a smooth flow too. Sounds nice read aloud--like a lullaby.

NOTES:


Love this line:
breathe peace deep inside your stillness

and these too:
rest your head in clover
hear the hum
of nature in her sleepiness



I tihk the dashs work well, but wonder if line breaks for pause effect might work better? Just a thought...as I do try to avoid using too many dashes in one poem...but these are not too many quite yet. :)


Enjoyed this.

Lovely

Fine presentation too.


Hugs, rd

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Let me take a look at my work, rama, and I may adjust it according to your suggestion. I thank you for the nice review.

jeni

reply by rama devi on 16-Dec-2016

:-))))

Comment from angel123

Excellent

I love your spiritual poem. You should consider entering it into the love contest. I love your message of faith and love and I like the way your poem flows and the mood it infuses.

angel123

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for the kind review, I appreciate it!

luna

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

Lovely artwork choice. I enjoyed reading your poem.It is well thought out and nicely written. The visual imagery is so very pretty. I found it to be a very loving and spiritual poem. Nice work.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks, sunnilicious, for your kind and encouraging review. Have a great night!

Comment from amada

Excellent

Different styles are happening so fast in fanstory. This new style is delightful as well. Keeping up with creativity is inspiring and charming. Best wishes!

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

amada, I think you have inspired ME with this review. Thanks for giving a nod to creativity, that's the common spark in us all.

have a great night.

always,

jeni

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This free verse reads very well, and genuinely has the feeling of drifting from one realm to another, from day's reality to night's hush and dreamy shadows, well done, Luna, nicely concocted and like a refrains cocktail, mixed well, nicely composed, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thanks, Roy, for your kind and encouraging review. I enjoyed reading it. Have a great night!

always,

jeni

reply by royowen on 15-Dec-2016

Well done Jeni

Comment from dragonpoet

Good

This is a new form for me. It makes the meter a little jumpy. I think you are using the moon's light as a metaphor for a path through love.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Dear Joan, thank you so much for your kind yet honest review. It is hard to get a smooth flow with this format, I agree! I will keep writing, you do too!

always,

jeni

reply by dragonpoet on 15-Dec-2016

My pleasure, Jeni. I will keep writing.

Joan