Custer's Last Stand
narrative poem about event June 25/187614 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an excellent poem with good internal and end rhyming. It's clear for the reader and well presented with the painting of the event. Well thought out and composed. Smooth with good flow. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
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This is an excellent poem with good internal and end rhyming. It's clear for the reader and well presented with the painting of the event. Well thought out and composed. Smooth with good flow. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing this and your extremely kind praise. Of all the kinds of poems out there, I prefer writing narrative poems the most. Rod
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Sometimes it's difficult to make historical events clear for the reader unless they are history buffs. (I wonder if they even teach history in school anymore. People seem to know so little about it.) Good job on this.
Comment from Pantygynt
As a British subject who has yet to visit the USA, it is not for me to testify to the accuracy or otherwise of the attributes or otherwise of George Custer. I have always thought of him as being somewhat akin to our Lord Cardigan, a pompous, self-important military idiot of undoubted courage and devotion to duty, who led the charge of the Light Brigade in the Crimean War. I don't believe I was wrong about Cardigan, but I could well be where Custer was concerned.
The rhyming and verse patterns of the Service poem are well suited to poetic descriptions of battle, the internal rhyme bolstering urgency of movement in the poem. Can one draw parallels with modern leaders. The gung-ho attitude seems to be reaping its own rewards in the upcoming administration as far as can be seen from this side of the pond.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016
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As a British subject who has yet to visit the USA, it is not for me to testify to the accuracy or otherwise of the attributes or otherwise of George Custer. I have always thought of him as being somewhat akin to our Lord Cardigan, a pompous, self-important military idiot of undoubted courage and devotion to duty, who led the charge of the Light Brigade in the Crimean War. I don't believe I was wrong about Cardigan, but I could well be where Custer was concerned.
The rhyming and verse patterns of the Service poem are well suited to poetic descriptions of battle, the internal rhyme bolstering urgency of movement in the poem. Can one draw parallels with modern leaders. The gung-ho attitude seems to be reaping its own rewards in the upcoming administration as far as can be seen from this side of the pond.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for sharing my poem and your very kind praise and comments. Custer was maligned for many years for blundering into this catastrophe, but recent evidence suggests his decisions weren't wrong, but that he received incorrect intelligence from his Indian scouts. When you're outnumbered 10-1, it's hard to look good in the outcome. Rod
Comment from Ella25
Little difficult to describe senseless wars such this one but you have done an excellent creative work. The image complements it all and it is nicely presented. Perhaps some words might be problematic for an average reader. Well done. Blessings, Ella
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016
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Little difficult to describe senseless wars such this one but you have done an excellent creative work. The image complements it all and it is nicely presented. Perhaps some words might be problematic for an average reader. Well done. Blessings, Ella
Comment Written 14-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for sharing my poem, Ella. Being a former teacher who taught reading skills to all levels of students, I am especially interested in your comments about problematic words for an average reader. I had hoped to reach a wide audience with this poem, but you might be right.
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You are more than welcome, Rod. Some words you are using in your poem might be difficult to understand for the reader. Perhaps, at the bottom, you could describe the word and what it means in more understandable English. It is what others poets do on FS. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or explanation. Blessing, Ella
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Good advice. Thanks again.
Comment from Thal1959
Excellently written. The subject of Gen Custer's last stand was interestingly rendered, if not entirely authentic. A very fine use of "internal" or "Leonine" rhymes. I personally employ a few more commas to keep the reader clued in to the beat, but in this work, they aren't necessary. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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Excellently written. The subject of Gen Custer's last stand was interestingly rendered, if not entirely authentic. A very fine use of "internal" or "Leonine" rhymes. I personally employ a few more commas to keep the reader clued in to the beat, but in this work, they aren't necessary. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for such great praise and those six bright stars. I am very pleased you like this historical narrative and my use of rhyme. Rod
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My pleasure.
Comment from frierajac
I like the Robert Service touch with the story of Custer. Perhaps it would be possible to add on some of the back story with even more of the same, The back story is how the young Sioux defied Sitting Bull, etc. Constantly breaking treaties. And the discovery of gold in the Black Hills which required the Indians to be removed from their new reservation lands. I wish I had a 6 for you.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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I like the Robert Service touch with the story of Custer. Perhaps it would be possible to add on some of the back story with even more of the same, The back story is how the young Sioux defied Sitting Bull, etc. Constantly breaking treaties. And the discovery of gold in the Black Hills which required the Indians to be removed from their new reservation lands. I wish I had a 6 for you.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for your very kind praise of this poem. You might enjoy a flash-fiction story about Sitting Bull I wrote sometime back titled "Vision." It's on page 4 of my profile. Rod
Comment from Bill Schott
This story poem, Custer's Last Stand, written in the Service format, harkens me back to my dad's recital of these very same Service poems. Yours, about the Little Big Horn massacre, easily fits into this fun-to-read category. Nice job.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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This story poem, Custer's Last Stand, written in the Service format, harkens me back to my dad's recital of these very same Service poems. Yours, about the Little Big Horn massacre, easily fits into this fun-to-read category. Nice job.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Hi, Bill. So pleased I could provide a nostalgic remembrance with this poem. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi
A great poem about Custards last stand. A very good contender in the contest. Whether it is 1876 or 2016 war is an unnecessary evil
Not dreaming
Men are bawling
Too many have fallen
Loyal to their calling
Not just a dream
It's a reality
War causes great calamities
And Gross fatalities
well done Mary
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Hi
A great poem about Custards last stand. A very good contender in the contest. Whether it is 1876 or 2016 war is an unnecessary evil
Not dreaming
Men are bawling
Too many have fallen
Loyal to their calling
Not just a dream
It's a reality
War causes great calamities
And Gross fatalities
well done Mary
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind praise, Mary, and a bonus of a poem. I like it!
Comment from Cass Carlton
There are so many legends and half truths about Custer and his
death in battle, but the Indians who fought there knew the true story. they did tell the truth, but were silenced by the government of the day. The treatment of the Indian people was shameful , with treaties broken by the White men and leaving the Indians no choice but to revolt and fight for their rights. The Indian people were not illiterate. They had written records going back for ages. In signs and symbols they wrote down everything that happened and kept it in a safe place. When it was discovered , the White men destroyed everything they found, so nothing was saved, except for the
oral tradition of story telling. If you want to know the truth about General Custer's death ask the Indians. A good poem Well written with a good rhyme scheme and rhythm. cheers Cass
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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There are so many legends and half truths about Custer and his
death in battle, but the Indians who fought there knew the true story. they did tell the truth, but were silenced by the government of the day. The treatment of the Indian people was shameful , with treaties broken by the White men and leaving the Indians no choice but to revolt and fight for their rights. The Indian people were not illiterate. They had written records going back for ages. In signs and symbols they wrote down everything that happened and kept it in a safe place. When it was discovered , the White men destroyed everything they found, so nothing was saved, except for the
oral tradition of story telling. If you want to know the truth about General Custer's death ask the Indians. A good poem Well written with a good rhyme scheme and rhythm. cheers Cass
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and comment. Indeed, as I said in my notes, much new evidence has come to light, much of it Native American first-hand testimony. Much has been interpreted from symbols; even more from interviews with some of the Indian leaders. More and more Native Americans are historians and have researched and written. Many thanks for your kind praise.
Comment from royowen
A nicely written poem in a story, the narrative has been told many times, but I've never seen it in poetic form before, so well done, my friend, an excellent presentation of this tragic but famous legend of the battle of Little Big Horn. Where Chief Sitting Bull, defeated and massacred the pride of the seventh cavalry. Well done, written in rhyming couplets,good luck blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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A nicely written poem in a story, the narrative has been told many times, but I've never seen it in poetic form before, so well done, my friend, an excellent presentation of this tragic but famous legend of the battle of Little Big Horn. Where Chief Sitting Bull, defeated and massacred the pride of the seventh cavalry. Well done, written in rhyming couplets,good luck blessings, Roy
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much, Roy, for your kind comments. I have written prose stories about the event, but wanted to put it into poetry, too. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Well done
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An excellent contest entry. It's too bad the army was in the wrong on this one. It may have been a happy ending if the Indians were slaughtered but for who? Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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An excellent contest entry. It's too bad the army was in the wrong on this one. It may have been a happy ending if the Indians were slaughtered but for who? Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Thomas, for sharing my poem.and your best wishes.
