The Old Man
A Pantygynt26 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Ford
I'm a bit late in reviewing this. So sorry. It's very well written, and I like the technique of indenting his responses, etc. I also appreciated the rhyming pattern and your ever-present steady meter. Well done.
Because of the work experiences I've had, which includes knowledge of the details of some children's suffering, I could take that old man--who is a criminal and should be spending his old age in prison--to a senior care home and leave him. No problem.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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I'm a bit late in reviewing this. So sorry. It's very well written, and I like the technique of indenting his responses, etc. I also appreciated the rhyming pattern and your ever-present steady meter. Well done.
Because of the work experiences I've had, which includes knowledge of the details of some children's suffering, I could take that old man--who is a criminal and should be spending his old age in prison--to a senior care home and leave him. No problem.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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I think I could take him there and walk away too. I wanted to kill him in the poem, but ended up not doing it. I sure hope our friend doesn't keep visiting him. But we have no control over that.
Thanks for the review!
Carol
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for the notes of additional context about this true story. Your friend acted out of true kindness. Your use of this form and its rhymes was very effective, although the account is depressing. Warm regards- Joan
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2016
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Thank you for the notes of additional context about this true story. Your friend acted out of true kindness. Your use of this form and its rhymes was very effective, although the account is depressing. Warm regards- Joan
Comment Written 25-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2016
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It's a tough subject, poor Will just spent the night with that old man last week. This JUST happened, and he told us all about the past of this family he married into. It's just how life is sometimes - monumentally unfair. Hugs,
Carol
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Fortunately, I've been spared such horrors. Here's to a serene weekend for you and yours- Joan
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Me too. But for some reason, the story has weighed on me. Maybe b/c the family is Italian, and my family is too, on my father's side.
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No wonder we're soul mates--my ancestors are 100% Italian--Venezia is my maiden name! Smiles- Joan
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Really??! How wonderful! What a beautiful name! Venezia is Venice, right? My maiden name is Ciliberti - I gave it up for Smith, lol, can you believe it?
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Yes--Venice, but no American could pronounce it when I was growing up. I gave it up for Stern! lol- Joan
Comment from misscookie
I behind on my list due to doctors visits and thanksgiving please for give me
Your artwork captured my attention from the start.
it is a perfect match..
thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2016
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I behind on my list due to doctors visits and thanksgiving please for give me
Your artwork captured my attention from the start.
it is a perfect match..
thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 25-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2016
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Thank you my dear, I hope your doctors visits went well for you, and that you had a happy Thanksgiving. Hugs,
Carol
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Thank you for asking the visit went well and i had a blessed Thanksgiving.
Cookie
Comment from Ulla
Deare me, Carol, this is hard and poignant. I read your beautifully written poem and couldn't quite take in the disgust that shined through. Until I read your notes. Dear God. What can I say. I'm appalled. Why didn't anybody speak up? Don't answer, it's not my station to be judgemental. All the best. Ulla
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Deare me, Carol, this is hard and poignant. I read your beautifully written poem and couldn't quite take in the disgust that shined through. Until I read your notes. Dear God. What can I say. I'm appalled. Why didn't anybody speak up? Don't answer, it's not my station to be judgemental. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 24-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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I know, right? It's kind of hard to take in, I still can't really believe it, and yet it's all true. Our friend sat in our living room, with a beer in his hand, before he went to spend the night with the old uncle. I guess they didn't know until fairly recently - so I heard when I asked my husband about it again - and when one person spoke up, others said he'd abused them too. What secrets people hide, when they should speak out...
Thanks for reading, sorry I know it's a tough one.
Carol
Comment from barkingdog
How horrible that this evil old man lives on. I can see why the speaker would wish he were dead after all that he had done, but to murder him would only end up in going to jail. These old pervs were allowed to continue. Their crimes overlooked because they were family. That's never made any sense to me. By covering for him, the crimes become the family's crimes. I'm all for excising the cancer and recovering.
Fine Pantygynt, Carol. The more of this form you write, the more I'm becoming atuned to it. It's rhyme and format is really quite catchy.
Happy Turkey Day, my friend.
: ellen
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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How horrible that this evil old man lives on. I can see why the speaker would wish he were dead after all that he had done, but to murder him would only end up in going to jail. These old pervs were allowed to continue. Their crimes overlooked because they were family. That's never made any sense to me. By covering for him, the crimes become the family's crimes. I'm all for excising the cancer and recovering.
Fine Pantygynt, Carol. The more of this form you write, the more I'm becoming atuned to it. It's rhyme and format is really quite catchy.
Happy Turkey Day, my friend.
: ellen
Comment Written 24-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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He reminds me of the old Nazis that they keep rounding up. Old, frail and almost pitiful, but still retaining that horror. It doesn't make sense to me either - it makes me sick. Yes, the crime become the family's crime - they are in it together. And poor Will, who married into the family, is kind of a doormat and forced to deal with the old bastard.
On that note...Happy Turkey Day back at ya!
Carol
Comment from robyn corum
I think it's perfectly acceptable to 'leave him to his doom' - if not whop him upside the head before they go. I'd have a hard time to NOT whop him myself. But that's me. I'm a little different, I guess. Nice write. Beautifully done.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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I think it's perfectly acceptable to 'leave him to his doom' - if not whop him upside the head before they go. I'd have a hard time to NOT whop him myself. But that's me. I'm a little different, I guess. Nice write. Beautifully done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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I would personally not deal with him at all. Fortunately the horrid old bastard is not in my family. I did plan to kill him in the poem, but didn't do it - go figure. Thanks, Robyn,
Carol
Comment from amada
A very well composed verses. Sorry the content of the story, is so abusive, and sad. I feel sorry for the people he hurt in the past. I like these lines "to spend a night in trembling prayer,
the place so like a tomb."
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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A very well composed verses. Sorry the content of the story, is so abusive, and sad. I feel sorry for the people he hurt in the past. I like these lines "to spend a night in trembling prayer,
the place so like a tomb."
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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Thanks so much for the comments. I know the content is really horrible - haunting, really.
Carol
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
It is unfair for someone to do those things and be able to live their life without memory of it and blissful memorys instead of what happened. but then, to deprive them of the memories that kept them alive has to be punishment of ;some sort.
This is exceptionally done. perfect in every way. I am sorry I don't have a six
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
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It is unfair for someone to do those things and be able to live their life without memory of it and blissful memorys instead of what happened. but then, to deprive them of the memories that kept them alive has to be punishment of ;some sort.
This is exceptionally done. perfect in every way. I am sorry I don't have a six
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
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I'm not convinced he doesn't remember, but who knows? It's an awful story, isn't it? Thanks so much for the kind review,
Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Leave him to drown in his misery. He remembers and he is afraid of dying. This was very well written Carol. The Lord tells us to hate the crime not the person. He will pay, pity him. The form is fitting for such a tale. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
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Leave him to drown in his misery. He remembers and he is afraid of dying. This was very well written Carol. The Lord tells us to hate the crime not the person. He will pay, pity him. The form is fitting for such a tale. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
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I agree with you, he knows damn well what he did and now he's afraid of dying. What an old scoundrel. I'm sure the family will visit him in the home, I'm not sure if I would. Thanks so much, Nancy.
Comment from sandy montgomery
A tough situation your friend is in. My sister worked in nursing homes for decades. She always said that even the sweetest seeming people had a past. They were taught never to judge the family because they didn't know that persons history. Obviosly this case fits that scenario. Good job on the poem. It had a creepy feel to it. You captured your friends feelings very well. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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A tough situation your friend is in. My sister worked in nursing homes for decades. She always said that even the sweetest seeming people had a past. They were taught never to judge the family because they didn't know that persons history. Obviosly this case fits that scenario. Good job on the poem. It had a creepy feel to it. You captured your friends feelings very well. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2016
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Yes, everyone has a past. Some of them have pretty amazing, wonderful pasts, but not all...
Thanks for these comments, I agree it's creepy! I creeped myself out with this one,
Carol