Comment from rama devi

Excellent

I enjoyed the tone, imagery, lazy-gentle pacing and serenity in this fine free verse. The flow is excellent read aloud but I did stumble on first read because of not knowing where pauses should be, since there are so many line wiht enjambment and no line breaks for breathing effect. I only got the rhythmic cadence of this on second read, reading aloud. Thus, I suggest you might consider using line breaks and indent to sculpt the rhythms and highlight pauses (breaths).

Example (how I personally 'hear' your poem)

I love my home in Ireland
where the beauty of nature
is all around

I see the green fields and
rolling cliffs

primroses bloom
in spring
the weeds
the flowers
that wild hedges camouflage
bird's nests

where butterflies flutter and dance
adorning dandelions and daffodils
where the bees sleep on a thistle

the wind whispers to me
as glistening leaves are
gently swaying

thrilling sunsets
give evening glow
my spirit lifts
from astounding beauty

as I walk the quaint village
there are no strangers
I know where I belong

for me
Time stands still


Love the closing note of timelessness.

Richly written!

Love, rd

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2016

Yes, I do agree with you, it is better the way you suggest, Thanks for the helpful review as usual. Mary

reply by rama devi on 02-Nov-2016

So glad you liked the idea...this device of using line breaks and indents really suits longer free verse style, I think. :-)))

Comment from winnona

Excellent

A well written free verse poem contest entry. your words flow together easily combining and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork completed the piece

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thanks winnona for your encouraging review

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

A wonderful free verse about your home land Ireland. Sounds like a wonderful place. thanks for the share and good luck on this. have a good day.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thanks William for your excellent review.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written free verse poem about your homeland Ireland and the things you find beautiful and comforting about your home country. We all have our special features we love about our own countries. A great unfinished painting.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thanks Sandra for your wonderful review

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Very nice image; I assume the painting is yours?
-Good presentation, as well.
-Excellent imagery and description
of the things you love about Ireland.
-There is a lot to see in nature:
from fields and cliffs to flowers and butterflies.
-I like these lines:
"the wind whispers to me
as glistening leaves are
gently swaying"
-As you get to the end of the poem,
you show how Ireland is where you belong.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016

Thank you so much for an encouraging review.

reply by Pam (respa) on 31-Oct-2016

You are very welcome.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

This sounds like a picture postcard of Ireland and certainly a place I would love to visit someday. Your camera records all the natural pleasures of your homeland and draws the reader in.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016

Thanks for your encouraging review, much appreciated