Eternal Life
Wrapped Refrain16 total reviews
Comment from crybry67
This is beautiful from start to finish. I love your message, I love the way it flows as well. Great use of rhyme and rhythm. Wonderful use of your talent to glorify Him.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016
This is beautiful from start to finish. I love your message, I love the way it flows as well. Great use of rhyme and rhythm. Wonderful use of your talent to glorify Him.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016
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Thank you for such an outstanding review and the six star rating, your very kind comments are greatly appreciated. It is all about giving God the praise. Blessings my friend......................Portia
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written wrapped refrain poem. Eternal life is what we all seek. Very little people find the way to eternal life. When they realize they were wrong it is too late.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2016
A very well-written wrapped refrain poem. Eternal life is what we all seek. Very little people find the way to eternal life. When they realize they were wrong it is too late.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2016
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Sandra,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings...............Portia
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a very well written spiritual and inspiring piece. I enjoyed reading and re-reading it.
There are some meter issues, however, and some lines are more than 8 syllables long (Each stanza of a wrapped refrain is supposed to consist of 4 lines of 8 syllables long and two lines of 12 syllables long - see contest example. )
Rather than going line by line, I'd like to offer my suggestions already incorporated:
What lies ahead, is life for all
just take one step, obey God's call
It won't take much, as you will see
to live life everlastingly...
Our Savior Christ had died for all...don't be misled
If you choose Christ, eternal life will lie ahead
God's Word reveals nothing but truth
...this I was taught when in my youth
One day I know I will meet death
...an empty frame is all that's left
...truth of His word is what the heart does really feel
You can have everlasting life...God's word reveals
Don't die in sin, face Christ today
He is the truth, the life... the way
Salvation's free...to one and all
why not accept Him, when He calls
Look 'round and grasp the problems that this world is in
choose wisely... everlasting life - don't die in sin
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016
This is a very well written spiritual and inspiring piece. I enjoyed reading and re-reading it.
There are some meter issues, however, and some lines are more than 8 syllables long (Each stanza of a wrapped refrain is supposed to consist of 4 lines of 8 syllables long and two lines of 12 syllables long - see contest example. )
Rather than going line by line, I'd like to offer my suggestions already incorporated:
What lies ahead, is life for all
just take one step, obey God's call
It won't take much, as you will see
to live life everlastingly...
Our Savior Christ had died for all...don't be misled
If you choose Christ, eternal life will lie ahead
God's Word reveals nothing but truth
...this I was taught when in my youth
One day I know I will meet death
...an empty frame is all that's left
...truth of His word is what the heart does really feel
You can have everlasting life...God's word reveals
Don't die in sin, face Christ today
He is the truth, the life... the way
Salvation's free...to one and all
why not accept Him, when He calls
Look 'round and grasp the problems that this world is in
choose wisely... everlasting life - don't die in sin
Comment Written 01-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016
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ytbard,
Thanks so much for your very kind , thorough and honest review. I appreciate the time you took to give me these great suggestions. I have made the corrections and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness. Blessings and have a wonderful day.
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You are very welcome. It was my pleasure.
Comment from robyn corum
Pharp:
This was a wonderful reminder of the state we're in and what God offers for us. I appreciate your wonderful words.
Favorite lines:
Look around and grasp the problems this world is in
choose wisely... life everlasting - don't die in sin
Thanks!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
Pharp:
This was a wonderful reminder of the state we're in and what God offers for us. I appreciate your wonderful words.
Favorite lines:
Look around and grasp the problems this world is in
choose wisely... life everlasting - don't die in sin
Thanks!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Robyn,
Thank you for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings and have a wonderful day.......Portia
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a flowing and emotional spiritual poem that shows the way of faith. It shows the strength and hope faith brings.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
This is a flowing and emotional spiritual poem that shows the way of faith. It shows the strength and hope faith brings.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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dragonpoet,
Thank you for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings..............Portia
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No problem, Portia.
Joan
Comment from William Ross
very good on the rapped refrain, when writing about the Lord one never runs out of good material. nicely done, good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
very good on the rapped refrain, when writing about the Lord one never runs out of good material. nicely done, good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you for your review, very kind comments and best wishes. Blessings................Portia
Comment from amada
Congratulations in writing this poem. The Wrapped Refrain seems like a mouthfull to me...but we did a great job with it. My fave line "Knowing one day I will meet death..."
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
Congratulations in writing this poem. The Wrapped Refrain seems like a mouthfull to me...but we did a great job with it. My fave line "Knowing one day I will meet death..."
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Amada,
Thank you for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.............Portia
Comment from Lu Saluna
Outstanding entry for the Wrapped Refrain contest. Syllable count perfect, the rhyme pattern bang on. The meter of this entry is very impressive and your poem flows beautifully. The message you are sending one of hope to help save people from themselves is sent loud and clear. Your presentation is very serene and lovely.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
Outstanding entry for the Wrapped Refrain contest. Syllable count perfect, the rhyme pattern bang on. The meter of this entry is very impressive and your poem flows beautifully. The message you are sending one of hope to help save people from themselves is sent loud and clear. Your presentation is very serene and lovely.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Lu,
Thank you for your review, very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.........Portia
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Portia,
You did a super job with the format of this style--the wrapped refrain. Your words read smoothly with an awesome message. The presentation is great--the color scheme, the image,& the overall message of salvation. Great job.
Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
Portia,
You did a super job with the format of this style--the wrapped refrain. Your words read smoothly with an awesome message. The presentation is great--the color scheme, the image,& the overall message of salvation. Great job.
Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
Comment Written 30-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Jan,
Thanks so much for who you are. Your sweet and gentle spirit always shine in your very kind reviews. I appreciate your continued support and kindness. Thanks for such an outstanding review. Blessings..................Portia
Comment from Irish Rain
Amen Miss Portia. A most lovely faith filled poem, and so true. I especially identified with the phrase...'Look around and grasp the problems this world is in'...SO VERY TRUE. I know the world has always had problems, wars, immorality....but not like this. No one seems to care anymore. I think man's time is soon to be over....choose wisely indeed. Blessings...
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
Amen Miss Portia. A most lovely faith filled poem, and so true. I especially identified with the phrase...'Look around and grasp the problems this world is in'...SO VERY TRUE. I know the world has always had problems, wars, immorality....but not like this. No one seems to care anymore. I think man's time is soon to be over....choose wisely indeed. Blessings...
Comment Written 30-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Irish Rain,
You are always so kind, thank you for such an outstanding review, six star rating and very wise comments. Blessings my friend...........Portia
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You are most welcome, Happy Halloween!!