A Broken Heart
Kyrielle Sonnet26 total reviews
Comment from Lu Saluna
What a beautiful poem of healing one's self of a broken heart. You have done a lovely work for the Kyrielle SONNET contest entry and have followed the Kyrielle pentameter perfectly. Such a lovely rhyme and rhythm, like water flowing smoothly through a soft brook washing round the rocks in time with the cool breeze.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2016
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What a beautiful poem of healing one's self of a broken heart. You have done a lovely work for the Kyrielle SONNET contest entry and have followed the Kyrielle pentameter perfectly. Such a lovely rhyme and rhythm, like water flowing smoothly through a soft brook washing round the rocks in time with the cool breeze.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2016
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lufoster,
Thank you for your review, very kind comments and best wishes. This is the first time I have penned a Sonnet of any kind. I am not sure if I got the meter just right. Thanks you for your support my friend. Blessings...........Portia
Comment from joannakruk
A poem that seems to express the subjects hope that she can forget the sensation of love once had for another. Purge is such a strong term and repeated emphasizes the deep want of separation. Yet the reader also questions whether the subject is actually trying to convince herself that this is the best outcome. Seems to be a battle, head vs heart.
Great lines:
Tears flow from my eyes, as I make a pledge
to purge, the love for you out of my heart.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2016
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A poem that seems to express the subjects hope that she can forget the sensation of love once had for another. Purge is such a strong term and repeated emphasizes the deep want of separation. Yet the reader also questions whether the subject is actually trying to convince herself that this is the best outcome. Seems to be a battle, head vs heart.
Great lines:
Tears flow from my eyes, as I make a pledge
to purge, the love for you out of my heart.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2016
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Thank you for your review and comments they are greatly appreciated. You are correct my friend its a battle, head vs heart. Blessings............................Portia
Comment from Quantum Traveler
An Excellent Joining of Canvas Art Work and Written Art Work with the cohesion of a Cold Stone Ledge and the Purging of the Heart.
The Imagery and Writing paints a well written story.
I was told that when the Heart is Broken it Lets the Sun Shine In.
Well Done...Portia...Well Done...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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An Excellent Joining of Canvas Art Work and Written Art Work with the cohesion of a Cold Stone Ledge and the Purging of the Heart.
The Imagery and Writing paints a well written story.
I was told that when the Heart is Broken it Lets the Sun Shine In.
Well Done...Portia...Well Done...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Phil,
Thanks so much for your very kind review. I think this is more of an Ekphrastic poem, more so than a Kyrielle Sonnet. This is my first attempt at trying to pen a Sonnet of any kind. I am so out of my comfort zone. I have worked on trying to get the meter as required then I finally decided to let it stay as it is. Your kinds words made me feel that it not all bad. I really appreciate your kind words and support. Still, I think I will stay within my comfort zone. Blessings my friend.........Portia
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For me Portia it was a very good write.
This painting and writing looked to be in a pretty good comfort zone for me.
Your Spirit Portia chimes in well with any of your writings...Q.T...Phil.
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Thanks Q.T., you are a good friend! Get a good night's sleep.
Portia
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Thank you Portia Sleep Well and Have Awesome Dreams...Q.T.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good Kyrielle poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and good imagery. Good luck in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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This is a very good Kyrielle poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and good imagery. Good luck in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Teri,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings............Portia
Comment from LIJ Red
I did not look up the Kyrielle sonnet, to inspect every rivet in this poem, I will vent my opinion on the meter and rhymes and refrains...excellent.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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I did not look up the Kyrielle sonnet, to inspect every rivet in this poem, I will vent my opinion on the meter and rhymes and refrains...excellent.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. This is my first try at penning a sonnet so thank you for your opinion. Blessings my friend................Portia
Comment from Janet Foor
A beautiful, heartfelt and emotional Kyrielle sonnet.
Excellent rhyme and vivid imagery.
Good Kyrielle style repeating lines.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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A beautiful, heartfelt and emotional Kyrielle sonnet.
Excellent rhyme and vivid imagery.
Good Kyrielle style repeating lines.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Janet,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. Blessings..............Portia
Comment from Irish Rain
Awwww....so sadly pretty. Some people are addictive, but like tobacco and drugs....poison. Once we've purged them out of our hearts, systems...we can't figure out WHY we wasted so much time on them. GREAT poem, blessings....
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Awwww....so sadly pretty. Some people are addictive, but like tobacco and drugs....poison. Once we've purged them out of our hearts, systems...we can't figure out WHY we wasted so much time on them. GREAT poem, blessings....
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Irish Rain,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. This is my first time penning a sonnet, I am still not sure if the meter is just right... so your support and comments are greatly appreciated. Blessings...................Portia
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I'm no expert, for sure, but I liked it!
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Thanks, my friend!
Comment from frogbook
What a powerful image with the poem combined with the artwork. Sad and forlorn tone well portrayed in your phrasing and great description.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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What a powerful image with the poem combined with the artwork. Sad and forlorn tone well portrayed in your phrasing and great description.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. They are greatly appreciated. Blessings................Portia
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hello, Portia. I so loathe to write sonnets of ANY kind, and reading them is not much better for me. However, since this was yours I thought I would give it a go.
Not everyone who reads my work likes horror, either.
I realize it is permissible to use rhyming couplets in a Kyrielle sonnet, Portia, but it isn't as necessary as it would be in, let's say, a Shakespearean or English sonnet composition.
Having said that, the same leeway is not given as to the makeup of the meter that's being used. It "should" be in strict iambic pentameter throughout, although some metrical substitution is entirely permissible as well.
Feminine endings resulting in lines that are eleven syllables in length are also acceptable.
"you rushed in my life, deceit you did impart"
Feminine rhymes place the needed "stress (if you will) on the first syllable. The word "Impart" in the featured line above does just just the opposite. The natural stress is placed on the second syllable instead. There are a couple of places where the natural stress is off just a tad. For instance, tap with your fingers to the following line whenever you notice the stress occurring:
"Then left me alone, with tears in my eyes" ...
In the word "alone", the stress is placed on the second syllable, and not in the first, as required by the Kyrielle form..
These are easy fixes, and let me know when they are corrected and I will be sure to return the fifth star to you that I've held hostage.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Hello, Portia. I so loathe to write sonnets of ANY kind, and reading them is not much better for me. However, since this was yours I thought I would give it a go.
Not everyone who reads my work likes horror, either.
I realize it is permissible to use rhyming couplets in a Kyrielle sonnet, Portia, but it isn't as necessary as it would be in, let's say, a Shakespearean or English sonnet composition.
Having said that, the same leeway is not given as to the makeup of the meter that's being used. It "should" be in strict iambic pentameter throughout, although some metrical substitution is entirely permissible as well.
Feminine endings resulting in lines that are eleven syllables in length are also acceptable.
"you rushed in my life, deceit you did impart"
Feminine rhymes place the needed "stress (if you will) on the first syllable. The word "Impart" in the featured line above does just just the opposite. The natural stress is placed on the second syllable instead. There are a couple of places where the natural stress is off just a tad. For instance, tap with your fingers to the following line whenever you notice the stress occurring:
"Then left me alone, with tears in my eyes" ...
In the word "alone", the stress is placed on the second syllable, and not in the first, as required by the Kyrielle form..
These are easy fixes, and let me know when they are corrected and I will be sure to return the fifth star to you that I've held hostage.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Dean,
This is my first time trying to pen a Kyrielle Sonnet or any Sonnet for that matter. I knew when I took this challenge upon myself that I was going to have problems with the meter. Sometimes, only one side of by brain is working and this is that time. I have made some corrections and it appeared that I was about to do even more injustice to this Sonnet, so I decided to STOP! I could feel that I was still not getting the meter right. Thanks so much my friend for your honest, kind and helpful review. I think I will stick with what I know and do best. Blessings..................Portia
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No worries, Portia. It's much better to try and fail than to have never tried at all.
Good luck!
~Dean
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Thanks so much!
Comment from royowen
An excellent Kyrielle sonnet entry in this poetry contest Portia, the theme is great, the meter is fine, the language is excellent, and the rhyming is marvellous, apart from, "how" and "eyes", but up its still a well done entry to this contest, excellently done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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An excellent Kyrielle sonnet entry in this poetry contest Portia, the theme is great, the meter is fine, the language is excellent, and the rhyming is marvellous, apart from, "how" and "eyes", but up its still a well done entry to this contest, excellently done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Roy,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. Thanks for bringing the "how" and "eyes" to my attention because rhymes should have been there. This is my first time penning a Kyrielle Sonnet or any Sonnet for that matter. I have been changing makes changes, oh my goodness; I went completely out of my comfort zone. You are very kind and I appreciate your support and review. Blessings..................Portia
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You did well Portia, well done, my friend, Roy
