Claire's Mistake
Maybe she shouldn't have...10 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Awww, Her hubby had killed her. How sad. I guess Steve was bored as well. I couldn't help but wonder if her lover had killed her, but why would he? Where was he? She made it home only to discover her husband was guilty.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
Awww, Her hubby had killed her. How sad. I guess Steve was bored as well. I couldn't help but wonder if her lover had killed her, but why would he? Where was he? She made it home only to discover her husband was guilty.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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Thanks for reading, Nancy.
Comment from frogbook
Great story and a great idea for the person telling the story to be the ghost. Good ending too. A couple of very small suggestions: First, "Funnily" sounds a bit weird-maybe "Oddly?" 2nd-when she looked around the room, it didn't "sound" familiar-maybe didn't "seem?" excellent job-best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
Great story and a great idea for the person telling the story to be the ghost. Good ending too. A couple of very small suggestions: First, "Funnily" sounds a bit weird-maybe "Oddly?" 2nd-when she looked around the room, it didn't "sound" familiar-maybe didn't "seem?" excellent job-best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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Thanks for your review. I've already made the changes you suggested.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Maria Jose. Wow so it was her husband Steve who'd shot her. A very good take on this story where she turns in to a ghost. I liked it a lot. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
Hi Maria Jose. Wow so it was her husband Steve who'd shot her. A very good take on this story where she turns in to a ghost. I liked it a lot. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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I'm glad you did. Thanks for reading.
Comment from MTF1955
That was great and I wasn't expecting that ending. Reads like one of those dateline mysteries which I love watching. There's nothing like a good ghost story. Mary
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
That was great and I wasn't expecting that ending. Reads like one of those dateline mysteries which I love watching. There's nothing like a good ghost story. Mary
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Duck. A very good story. Told from a spider on the wall perspective. So did Steve shoot her? I think so. A good contest entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
Duck. A very good story. Told from a spider on the wall perspective. So did Steve shoot her? I think so. A good contest entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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He did indeed! He found out about the affair and was jealous. Thanks for reading.
Comment from royowen
What a fascinating story my friend. An excellent entry in this contest. Our heroine had died in a seedy hotel room at the hand, who knows? She had been having a mini affair with somebody, and had woken up dead. As a ghost she had made her way home to discover she had been killed by her own husband! Well written, and a very ironic and entertaining parody, well written with no typos, it was well done, good characters, a unique plot. great story, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
What a fascinating story my friend. An excellent entry in this contest. Our heroine had died in a seedy hotel room at the hand, who knows? She had been having a mini affair with somebody, and had woken up dead. As a ghost she had made her way home to discover she had been killed by her own husband! Well written, and a very ironic and entertaining parody, well written with no typos, it was well done, good characters, a unique plot. great story, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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Thanks so much for your review, Roy. You always look at the positive points of what I write.
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Most welcome
Comment from Heidi M
What a twist at the end! Your story kept me engaged from start to finish. It had shock effect when I realized she was dead. The shock factor grew with your last line of your story.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
What a twist at the end! Your story kept me engaged from start to finish. It had shock effect when I realized she was dead. The shock factor grew with your last line of your story.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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Thanks for the read, Heidi.
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. I think you have completed the challenge for this contest very well. Your well-chosen words tell a realistic story and the detail brings it to life well done.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
A well-written contest entry. I think you have completed the challenge for this contest very well. Your well-chosen words tell a realistic story and the detail brings it to life well done.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
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Thanks, Winnona. You're very kind.
Comment from William Ross
Excellent, great job on the ghost story, did not expect the ending on this one. Nice write, nice job, This should do well, good luck and have a great day
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
Excellent, great job on the ghost story, did not expect the ending on this one. Nice write, nice job, This should do well, good luck and have a great day
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
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Thanks so much for your review, William.
Comment from mfowler
Oh, boy, you made us wait for that twist in the tail. And like every good flash fiction, it was a great and moving finish to a story that engaged from the beginning.
Your tale explores not only the realm of ghosthood, but the emotional response to realising you're dead and that there's nothing you can do about it. Luckily we can suspend most rational thought when we take on the supernatural and you handled that perfectly.
Your heroine, though dead and recently ghosted, takes on a true personality and her life is exposed in her thinking. Enough anyway to make the reader care for the final outcome.
Very well composed and nicely scribed. A great entry for this contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
Oh, boy, you made us wait for that twist in the tail. And like every good flash fiction, it was a great and moving finish to a story that engaged from the beginning.
Your tale explores not only the realm of ghosthood, but the emotional response to realising you're dead and that there's nothing you can do about it. Luckily we can suspend most rational thought when we take on the supernatural and you handled that perfectly.
Your heroine, though dead and recently ghosted, takes on a true personality and her life is exposed in her thinking. Enough anyway to make the reader care for the final outcome.
Very well composed and nicely scribed. A great entry for this contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
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I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.