Comment from Kelly2

Excellent

I'm not sure if I've read anything of yours before, but this poem is so awesome! I loved the whole first stanza:

Lying in this casket as dead as can be
Oh my! I see everyone looking down at me
Here comes Sally Sue dressed in black
wearing dark shades she's finally off crack (LOL) Seriously this made me laugh.

It all flows so well, and I love the mystery aspect, too.

The last line is great: this body must return to dust from where it came.

Really great work! I loved it.

Kelly

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016

Kelly2,

Thanks so much for giving this a review. I am glad it made you laugh and that you enjoyed the read...I really appreciate your review and very kind comments. Blessings..............Portia

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Wow! This was compelling... fast paced, well written, and a bit on the macabre side! I loved it. Great job with this, lovely lady!
And congratulations on your win! ;)
Hugs and love,
Cat

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016

Cat,
Thank so much my fear friend for this great review and the congratulations. Sending a Big Hug your way! Love you.......Portia

Comment from crybry67

Excellent

I really liked your poem, it flowed very well. You had great use of rhyme. I especially liked the last stanza. Very moving, reminding us what an impact we can have for Christ.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016

Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments and I am glad you received the serious part of this poem as well. Blessings.....................POrtia

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Well, I could certainly see why you were able to finish in first place in this contest, Portia. I read all of the other entries and this is definitely one of the best I've read.
The sporadic use of punctuation seemed a bit off-putting to me.
Still, it worked well, obviously.
Absent from the body; present with the Lord.

Well done!
~Dean :}

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016

Dean,
Thanks so much for your very kind comments. Yeah, I need to work on the punctuation issue and meter, but I'll get there. Your review as always is greatly appreciated my friend. Blessings..................Portia

reply by Dean Kuch on 07-Oct-2016

It is always my great pleasure to read your spiritually uplifting verse, Portia.
You're more than welcome.

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Well written and a very worthy contest winner I have read a couple of funeral poems of late in the same theme Now i know why its a contest!

dip

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Thanks so much my friend for your review and very kind comments. They are greatly appreciated. Blessings................Portia

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Portia,

You did a great job with the prompt. Your words describe a scene so real. Good job on the rhyme & smooth flowing lines. I liked the lines about some of the people who were at the funeral. Many so true.

What is awesome though is the message at the end. How great your words show that he was saved before it was too late. Now, he is at peace with God.

Good job, congratulations on your win, & thank you for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Jan,

I am so glad you enjoyed the humor in this poem as well as the spiritual message at the end. Your review and support means a great deal to me. Thanks for the congratulations on the win, I never thought I would win first place. Blessings and Lots of love.............Portia

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

OMG I see why it won and congratulations.
I can see sis running down the aisle begging 'wait'.
This is very funny and yet very descriptive.
So nicely done

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Barb,

Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. I am glad you enjoyed the read. Blessings...........Portia

Comment from simmonska

Good

Great story with a sense of humor and the skill of a poet all woven into meeting the challenge of a writing prompt!
I gave four stars for b/c (at least to me) the 3rd line of fourth stanza: "the dead-looking man was about to close" is missing something...was about to close what? What was the guy in the casket about to do?
Also, while I enjoyed the final stanza, I think the poem would be fine ending with stanza #6.
Thank you for sharing your creation!
Best,
K

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Thanks so much for your review, I am sorry your didn't get the meaning in the fourth stanza the "dead-looking" man is the undertaker who was about to close the casket. In the first line of this same stanza we are talking about closing the casket. I am glad you gave this a review and it is greatly appreciated. Blessings.....Portia

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

This poem is perfect for the contest. I like the story you tell and how you explain what happened. Poor guy! Murdered by his wife no less...
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016

Thanks so much for your very kind review. Blessings.........................

Comment from Slythytove2

Excellent

Humorous and in good taste, and not beseechingly morbid or morose. I was intrigued by the prompt myself and made a small entry, but I wish you luck and a long life to enjoy it in.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016

Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and best wishes. The very to you in the contest as well my friend. Blessings.......................

reply by Slythytove2 on 08-Oct-2016

Congratulations on you win

reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016

Thanks so much for the congratulations. Blessings my friend.....Portia