Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

Confusing. Making us think he was being hounded by a pedophile. When he had to have seen the uniform.
Bad Mom for allowing a 5 year old to be on his own.
I like you Mr. Ric, but I found this story confusing.
Sorry pal. I owe you 20. Karen

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Nope the officer was just a security cop. But the kid, like most of us, had been told to be afraid of strangers, which he was. And like most kids left alone too long in a store, we wander off. Which he did. This is a simple story, but sometimes us adults try to read more into it than there is. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 18-Oct-2023

We were never left alone and we always traveled in pairs. Ever read ransome of red chief?

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

I believe this is the shortest story I've ever read by you. You share every parent's worst nightmare and a happy ending in just 500 words. I'm going to congratulate you on the win, even though this is seven years ago:-)

 Comment Written 24-May-2023

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reply by the author on 24-May-2023

Thanks for taking time out to go back and read some of my older stuff. I like to think I've improved my craft a little in all this time, but sometimes the subject matter alone is key, and little kids usually touch us best. I always appreciate those who I read and enjoy regularly going back to read my old posts that offer no reward for your time. Thanks again!

Comment from AJ McCall

Excellent

Wow. I thought it was just some creepy old guy. That was a great surprising ending. But I definitely understand the fear of Tommy. When I was younger I was afraid to get lost all the time, even on field trips and I had to use the restroom. I would hurry up because I was scared they'd leave me and I'd be lost! (I'm still kinda like that. But I pay attention to landmarks, street signs, and memorize addresses... while listening to music. :) I can't help it! I love your posts!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020

Thank you so much, AJ, for another outstanding review and encouraging comments. It's true that we all have phobias. Some people are scared of the dark, afraid of getting lost, being alone, and I can go on for hours. All of us have them . . . of course, many like me never admit them. I got lost one time at Coney Island when I was about three. And although, you wouldn't think I could still remember it, there are things that bring back that panic and shortness of breath. Luckily, the more we face our fears, the stronger we get. I'm glad you like my posts, but I'm sure I enjoy and appreciate you reading them more. Thanks a million!

reply by AJ McCall on 03-Jul-2020

You're welcome! Actually I was scared to get lost at the Brooklyn Zoo one time. That's my city!

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020

So, you're a born and raised New Yorker? I used to spend a lot of time in New York. Mostly up in Garden City or over in Rockville Center. Sometimes I stayed at the Carlyle Hotel in the city. I breed and raced thoroughbred horses. I had friends from Brooklyn. It's a terrible thing to be afraid of being lost. I hope it is getting easier for you?

reply by AJ McCall on 04-Jul-2020

Yeah... born in the heart of Brooklyn. You breed horses? I love horses!! I rode a pony when I was smaller, then a horse a little while later. But I always wanted to ride horses!

Comment from hvysmker

Excellent

That must have been quite an experience.

Reminds me of (heeaare we go again) a short period when I was in junior high (now called middle-school). I fell into a group of shoplifters. I was proud of my prowess, eventually showing off to them by stealing small items from the five-and-dime stores only when a clerk was looking in my direction.

I was only stopped once. Even then it was without stolen merchandise, but that huge security guard scared me enough to quit.

Charlie

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017

Hey, Charlie, thanks for taking time to read one of my older stories. I guess all kids have stolen things when they were young. Of course, I didn't. directly. I paid about twenty kids from the neighborhood to steal and then I sold it all after school. A real entrepreneur. I had two huge closets full of clothes, record albums, jewelry, fishing equipment, and about anything else you could think of. I even got so big I had to rent a storage building. Then, I got people working inside stores to sell me stuff right out of the stores for pennies on the dollar. I finally had people selling me houses full of home furnishings by the truck loads. But when they got caught, and my butt was so afraid they would snitch that, I sold off everything and never did it again. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)

reply by hvysmker on 06-Jun-2017

He-he. I told you about my brief attempt at smuggling smokes.

Charlie

Comment from GoodHearted Woman

Excellent

This story will never get a fair shake if it's read after Charlie Kemper laugh! But it was a cute story, well-described, and won
a contest after all. Your writing reads like it's done by an author to whom writing is second nature--kinda' like Bing sang. A pleasure to read and review.
GoodHearted Woman
Marcia

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017

Thank you so much, Marcia, for reading yet another of my silly, little stories. You couldn't have said anything that would have made me happier than my writing being second nature. In truth, three-years ago, I didn't know a noun from a verb, well a little more than that, but not much. I thought I was too smart to bother with school, and I since I planned to train thoroughbred horses like my grandfather, dad, five uncles, and as it turned out, me, four cousins, and one of my sons, there wasn't any sense in English. Something I would use every day of my ignorant life. I thought, I know how to work hard and make money, and since they had sent me to Duke University for special testing, saying I could skip about six grades of school anyway. So why bother with subjects I'll never need. Damn stupid kids! Then, I decided to write. It was terrible, not the stories, but the grammar and punctuation. Between some very kind and patient people from right here on this site, I've at least learned to get my points across without too much confusion. And wonderful, encouraging people like you have kept me thinking it's a possibility, which keeps trying. I can't thank you enough for another confidence building review. I hope you won't be offended, but I just can't help myself but give you a GREAT BIG ((HUG)). Thanks a million!

Comment from Nan Beeson

Exceptional

WOW!
My goodness, Ric....

WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE TOP TEN POETS?

WOW!

iI do not usually read stories, but you got me so hooked on this one,
I am going back and reviewing some more of them.

WOW!
Sincerely.....Nan:))

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017

Thank you so much, Nan, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. This is one of those reviews that gives an ol' boy the confidence and encouragement to keep pushing pens or pounding keyboards. I appreciate you! ((HUG)) :-)

reply by Nan Beeson on 01-Feb-2017

"Hi," ol boy, lol....

You deserve the six stars , Ric....and how nice to send me a hug....I send you one in return......Nan:))

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Congratulations on the win. I didnt get to vote. Was busy out of town. Great story and well deserved. Glad it was you too that wrote this great little tale.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016

Thank you so much, Frogbook, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)

Comment from Mary Wakeford

Excellent

Hi Ric, you had me going with this. All I could think of as the five year old in your story as he tried to evade the ogre, was the Adam Walsh story.

I was thankful for the happy ending! Excellent build up just before the happy ending. Well done!

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2016

Thank you so much, Mary Wakeford, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)

Comment from michaelcahill

Exceptional

Jeesh. I've been meaning to review this for a week. LOL
An awesome short story that totally deserved the win. What a killer ass ending. DID NOT SEE IT COMING. You didn't cheat a bit either. HAAAAAHAHAHA! I should've seen it, but you were too damn slick.
Great idea to use the POV of the kid. Thanks for the great reviews too. I WILL get to them THIS YEAR. :)) mikey

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016

Awwwww, thanks a million, Mikey! I'm so glad you liked it. I had a lot of fun with this one. I just wasn't real sure how I was going to make readers understand that the little boy was telling the story through himself when he was older. See, I'm even getting tongue tied trying to say that. Thanks so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. :-)

Comment from Gloria ....

Exceptional

Ha, this is a terrific story, Ric. I honestly didn't see the ending coming so a fabulous job of misdirection. Your build up of tension was perfectly timed and naturally the setting, Walmart couldn't have been better.

Exceptional writing my friend and congratulations on your win.

Gloria

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016

Thanks for taking time to read my story. Crowded supermarkets and department stores have become dangerous places for children. The idea for this story came from a little boy running wild in Walmart as his mother shopped, so self-absorbed that her child ran free doing whatever. Finally, he disappeared. Over the intercom at the information desk announced that the boy was missing and that the doors had been locked. Police stood at the entrance, combed store inside with us patrons, and the parking lot outside. It turned out the boy had fallen asleep in the women's fitting room, which tells you how long this went on. I just wanted to take the little fellow home with me, where someone could protect and teach him about the dangers of this old world. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated, and now that I have your comments, my hopes for this post are complete. I appreciate you! :-)