Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 139 "The Boat Rental"Personal poems
12 total reviews
Comment from Nottoway
Marvelous.
What a grandfather/grandson adventure told with such beautiful imagery. Any readers can place themselves on the adventure with you and see the worry in grandson's face at the onset and yet know their is joy with grandpa.
Then, as you are about to be tossed the rope of rescue, you appreciate the pretty woman tossing the rope!
And in the end it was quite an adventure! For 40 bucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2016
  |
Marvelous.
What a grandfather/grandson adventure told with such beautiful imagery. Any readers can place themselves on the adventure with you and see the worry in grandson's face at the onset and yet know their is joy with grandpa.
Then, as you are about to be tossed the rope of rescue, you appreciate the pretty woman tossing the rope!
And in the end it was quite an adventure! For 40 bucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Nottoway. See what amazing adventures can await you. I really liked your review, and love the stars.
Comment from His Grayness
This work deserves six stars for overall perfection of style and delivery. The story is captivating and holds interest all the way through so the pace is well patterned. The overall work is very good and I cannot offer anything to improve it ...except the sixth star so well deserved, which is not at hand at this late date. Thanks to the author for a fine read! HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
 |
This work deserves six stars for overall perfection of style and delivery. The story is captivating and holds interest all the way through so the pace is well patterned. The overall work is very good and I cannot offer anything to improve it ...except the sixth star so well deserved, which is not at hand at this late date. Thanks to the author for a fine read! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Vance. I appreciate the accolades as much as a six.
Comment from Just2Write
Your first clue should have been with the condition of the campsites. There's usually no diamonds hidden in with broken glass. Good thing that it all turned out well. Often, this is how tragedy strikes. It malevolently waits for an opportunity for some nice folks to make a mistake and then it sweeps in.
Fortunately, there was help within ear-shot. Providence divine.
I went to one campsite where the pool was so filthy you couldn't see bottom. There's a ton of cruddy places out there - and in my neck of the woods - campgrounds are disappearing due to new subdivision development projects. The crappy campggrounds stay in business only because there's so few choices left.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you're still here to tell it.
Rose.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
|
Your first clue should have been with the condition of the campsites. There's usually no diamonds hidden in with broken glass. Good thing that it all turned out well. Often, this is how tragedy strikes. It malevolently waits for an opportunity for some nice folks to make a mistake and then it sweeps in.
Fortunately, there was help within ear-shot. Providence divine.
I went to one campsite where the pool was so filthy you couldn't see bottom. There's a ton of cruddy places out there - and in my neck of the woods - campgrounds are disappearing due to new subdivision development projects. The crappy campggrounds stay in business only because there's so few choices left.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you're still here to tell it.
Rose.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Rose. Your words speak volumes in this review. I never felt in danger, but my grandson sure did.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Trischel,
This is an excellent poetic description of a hard luck day. Usually best to look a gift horse in the mouth. Excellent rhyme and rhyme pattern. Flows well and carries the story along. Refrain rubs it in and is a good idea. Good figurative language "death defying clench" a fresh metaphor. I hope this day was not typical of your camping vacation.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
|
Hi, Trischel,
This is an excellent poetic description of a hard luck day. Usually best to look a gift horse in the mouth. Excellent rhyme and rhyme pattern. Flows well and carries the story along. Refrain rubs it in and is a good idea. Good figurative language "death defying clench" a fresh metaphor. I hope this day was not typical of your camping vacation.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Preston. Fortunately, it wasn't typical. Fishing was great from shore, and we were only at a bad campsite for 2 out of 7 days.
Comment from enitsalemap
This is a wonderful little memoir piece that is universal in its theme of grandparents and grandchild on an adventure. The rhyme scheme is well done, as is the mixed pentameter. I love the repetition of the "Only 40 bucks a day, hurray," that underscored the irony .
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
|
This is a wonderful little memoir piece that is universal in its theme of grandparents and grandchild on an adventure. The rhyme scheme is well done, as is the mixed pentameter. I love the repetition of the "Only 40 bucks a day, hurray," that underscored the irony .
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you enitsalemap. I am pleased that you enjoyed my adventure, and elated with the six stars.
-
you are welcome and I always enjoy reading your work. I learn something new every time I do.
Comment from Pantygynt
A remarkable piece of narrative verse. I so glad you got your money back and it was lucky you managed to get help. Sounds like dirty fuel to me. The refrain at various points along the way was most apposite.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
|
A remarkable piece of narrative verse. I so glad you got your money back and it was lucky you managed to get help. Sounds like dirty fuel to me. The refrain at various points along the way was most apposite.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Pantygynt, yes, they said it was likely water in the gas. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Susan Chetcuti
A very interesting tale. I could almost feel your exitement the whole way through the poem. A good flow and rhyming throughout.
Well written.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
|
A very interesting tale. I could almost feel your exitement the whole way through the poem. A good flow and rhyming throughout.
Well written.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Chetcuti.
Comment from Joan E.
You are making up for lost time with this second post, and it also explains your recent absence! I enjoyed your rhymed, story poem about those "lasting memories" along with the repeats for emphasis. I'm very glad you got your money back. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
|
You are making up for lost time with this second post, and it also explains your recent absence! I enjoyed your rhymed, story poem about those "lasting memories" along with the repeats for emphasis. I'm very glad you got your money back. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Joan. Yup, it may be a while before I get my grandson in a boat again.
-
He's no dummy! lol -Joan
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
That was not a good experience, I am sure, but definitely one to remember for a lifetime. I am grateful that you and Jeremy make it safely through the ordeal.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
|
That was not a good experience, I am sure, but definitely one to remember for a lifetime. I am grateful that you and Jeremy make it safely through the ordeal.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Sandra. We probably laugh about it years from now.
Comment from patcelaw
Quite an adventure story told in your great poetic style. I enjoyed the read and I agree $40 for all day what a deal Glad you and grandson were brought back to shore and you got your money back. Patricia
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
|
Quite an adventure story told in your great poetic style. I enjoyed the read and I agree $40 for all day what a deal Glad you and grandson were brought back to shore and you got your money back. Patricia
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
-
Thank you Patricia. Definitely the worst boat ride I ever took.