Reviews from

Herman and Tootsie

Budding Romance

33 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I felt really sad for Herman when Tootsie told him she was married. But, she got her divorce and the got married and lived happily ever after. Bless them!! It was a lovely story about two people who others thought were strange and they found each other. Well done, and good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much, SandraMitchel, for taking time to read my story. It just goes to show us that attractiveness has little to do with our size and features. There is someone for all of us. We just have to find them, which isn't always easy. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I'm glad you like it. :-)
Comment from Saramac
Excellent
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This is one of the few truly humourous stories in the contest.
The charming (and funny) story of two of natures freaks getting together, a bit of heartbreak and a happy ending. What more do you need in a story.

Just a few points I made while reading, ignore anything you don't like :)

I'd take out the paragraph below, you describe Herman to us fully in the next para, and I might not be the only reader who has no idea who any of the people you mention are.
"It's hard to say whom Herman resembled..... Andy Griffith show."

one-hundred thirty pounds of puny --- very funny! He sounds a real dork.

I'd take out the reference to Donald Trump - I know he's on the minds of every American in the world, but it doesn't add anything to the story and slows the pace down.

the server took Tootsie's tray to her designated seat at a tiny two-person table, - I couldn't wait to read how Tootsie was going to sit in this

A brilliant read, good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much, Saramac, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated. And yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly about the Donald Trump line, and the comparisons with Urkel and Don Knotts, as being a distraction. They definitely are just that. Of course, I put those in there for my own amusement, knowing that I can remove them any time, since the Donald Trump line won't be relevant very soon. Thanks again for the fine review! :-)
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
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Nice is a humorous story of love being found, never know where or with who you'll find it with. Nicely written, with a happy ending. Good luck on this and have a good day.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much, William Ross, for taking time to read my story. It's always nice to hear from you. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I'm glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

Humorous stories are notoriously difficult to get right what with humour being so subjective, but you did a good job with this one. Some great phrases in there and a nice tone.

slapping as if he were trying to swat flies."
- delete speech marks from the end here.


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Yes, I was afraid I might be bombarded by bad reviews because I referred to Tootsie as fat and ugly. But so far only one of those. I tried to explain that it wasn't my opinion, it was the front desk lady who was saying those mean things. But of course, I'm sure it didn't work. What they would never know is that the most attractive person I've ever known was overweight and not much to look at outside. I wasn't trying to be discourteous to anyone. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story, and catching my slip up. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Mabaker
Excellent
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That was lovely. I like a happy ending. I don't care if you drive an eighteen-wheeler or ride a bike do it with flare and who knows what you might meet around the next aisle, it could be Tootsie. Regards Mabaker.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much, Mabaker, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Yes, our weight and one person's opinion have nothing to do if we're attractive or not. I'm do glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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Laurel and Hardy revisited.

shook with the ferocity of an electrocuted cat.

I laughed so hard. I cried. You really do a great job of describing these two >anyone who has shopped at Walmart knows them.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Yes, these are two strange characters. I was traveling up interstate 75 and pulled into a truck stop for some gas and quick bite. I don't know if they were actually a couple but these two were there. I got so tickled watching them that I almost choked on my tongue. Like a little kid, the girlfriend sent me to the car so they wouldn't see me and think I was cackling about them. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Glad it made you laugh. :-)
reply by Thomas Bowling on 25-Aug-2016
    SNL used to do a segment they called, Lowered expectations. These two could be the poster children.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Fun story. You never know by looking how a couple will feel and what they might do. Herman's broken heart healed quickly, and they lived happily ever after. :)

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It just goes to show that a person's looks doesn't make them any less attractive or special inside. I'm glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from gramalot8
Excellent
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Well, isn't this just the cutest love story ever. What a pair of misfits, which makes it all the better that they do fit. I briefly felt so bad for Herman at the end, but, somehow, I figured you'd make it work out, and you did. Great fun to read and good luck in the contest. Gramalot

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It just goes to show you that a person's looks doesn't make them any less attractive or special inside. I'm glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Herman almost jumped out of his skin. Trembling, he shook with the ferocity of an electrocuted cat.
... Good analogy, Anonymous Author...

It's hard to say whom Herman resembled most. Steve Urkel, the star of Family Matter's television show, or Barney Fife from way back in the stone-ages of Mayberry on the Andy Griffith show. ... Well, I wouldn't exactly call The Andy Griffith Show the stone ages, Author. It was just 1960-'65, when Barney (Don Knotts) left the show ...

Fine quality feminine apparel for women on the go, she only bought the best--but, let us face the facts, folks--Tootsie was butt ugly, big butt UGG-U-G-L-Y! ... Poor Tootsie. I'll bet she was a delightful woman with a heart of gold. I sure hope so for her sake at least. Heh-heh-heh...

Herman Hollingsworth...Tootsie Tuttle. It seems that the old "Meet & Greet" truck stop caters to those with very alliterative names, LOL...

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Herman. I just couldn't help myself. I mean, like, here you are a teacher of chemistry, having lunch with me, and . . . I can't even spell chemistry."

Flushed, Herman's rosy cheeks broke into a smile. Although, he still didn't understand what was so damn funny.
... Well, one thing's for sure. Old Double "H", Herman Hollingsworth, didn't possess much of a sense of humor, that's fer shore...

"Someone called the bartender a jackass. A friend sitting at the bar asked the bartender if he had heard what the fellow had called him, and the barkeep said, 'He-all, he-all, he-always calls me that.'"... First time I heard that joke, it was told by Gary Busey in the film adaption of Stephen King's novella, Cycle of the Werewolf. It was changed to Silver Bullet for the movie...

Now . . . they travel the roads together, him as her co-driver. At home, when they aren't eighteen wheelin' across the highways, she is his snuggle buddy, and they are the Hollingsworths. ... Snuggle buddy? A one-hundred and thirty pound man beneath a woman tipping the scales at just over three-hundred pounds isn't a "cuddle buddy". It's more like grapes in a wine press, hahahahah!

Great story, author, and it just goes to prove one thing.
There is someone for everyone out there...somewhere...

Just like Rustoleum Paint, I saw no runs, no drips, and no errors.

Best wishes to you in the contest.
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 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    I can't even reply I'm laughing so hard! "It's more like grapes in a wine press, ..." Your line is funnier than anything in my story! I've already received one bad review because I should be able to make a fat chick elegant. I did everything I could with the nice clothes. Thank you so much for taking time to read my silly story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I don't feel real lucky with this one, but I sure am glad you liked it! :-)
reply by Dean Kuch on 24-Aug-2016
    I did enjoy it, very much. I thought it was an excellent story, and funny.
    Some people just ain't got no sense of humor, LOL.
    You can count on my vote. ;)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    I appreciate you! I learned so much from reading your work. :-)
reply by Dean Kuch on 24-Aug-2016
    You're far too kind, but I do appreciate your kindness.
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Comment from oliver818
Excellent
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That really made me laugh. Well done. I loved the way you really brought your characters to life. I could really get a very clear picture of them sitting there holding hands. The comparison with famous Tv stars also helped but your descriptions were great.
I also really liked your ending. It was a surprise twist as I thought poor Herman was going to spend the rest of his life alone.
A great read!

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-) I'm so glad you liked it! :-)