To Last Forever
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "America"Poems by Michael
28 total reviews
Comment from bokeh
Apparently, your theme is "harmony." Clever word selection but lacks substance. You present neither one side nor both sides of the argument. Well-intentioned but not well expressed.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2016
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Apparently, your theme is "harmony." Clever word selection but lacks substance. You present neither one side nor both sides of the argument. Well-intentioned but not well expressed.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2016
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apparently not...-smile-
no nope when I wrote maybe Providence took out King Martin Luther's dream and Rome not being eaten from the outside in....or or even wondering if Justice was served with JFK's last shot...no these were obvious signs of "disharmony" can you dig it...? as the first and last stanzas plainly state..."harmony's gone" bye-
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I?ve reread (several times) and apologize for missing the point on the first go-around. Your examples are certainly representative of ?disharmony.?
But I also think disharmony is more a result of the lust for power and dominance-driven behavior that is, unfortunately, innate in humans.
Thanks,
jon
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you would think history's lessons would take innate and curb that suicidal nature...
Comment from c_lucas
History took our worthies, young and our old. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good Job.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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History took our worthies, young and our old. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good Job.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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Hey charlie...-smile-
thank you Sir...glad you enjoyed. love Michael
Comment from lancellot
Him, very deep. It makes the reader really take moment and think about what we think we know is going on today. We are responsible for the state of the world. Us, not some vast conspiracy.
Thought provoking stuff.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Him, very deep. It makes the reader really take moment and think about what we think we know is going on today. We are responsible for the state of the world. Us, not some vast conspiracy.
Thought provoking stuff.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Hey Lance...-smile-
was this the first time you read this...?
I've changed it some...not sure I'm feeling it like I was. I'd had put it to bed already...I'm not there anymore...cant tell. did you find this offensive...? I suppose it was meant to be somewhat....but just as a "what are we thinking" type thing...see...? anyway....hope you're well man. love Michael
Comment from Javed05
this poem is really good about America I found it engaging for the reader and it flows smoothly .language used is great that creates good imagery in the reader's mind thanks for sharing with us .....
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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this poem is really good about America I found it engaging for the reader and it flows smoothly .language used is great that creates good imagery in the reader's mind thanks for sharing with us .....
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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Hello...-smile-
why thank you...I did too. love Michael
Comment from Slythytove2
I knew enough to take my time with this one. Going over it I get the feeling you think we're just going through the steps now without the dedication of purpose and fulfillment. You're right. You know- I think you could have gotten away with "...just deserts... which is still in your style. At any rate, I took it both ways anyway. Good one.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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I knew enough to take my time with this one. Going over it I get the feeling you think we're just going through the steps now without the dedication of purpose and fulfillment. You're right. You know- I think you could have gotten away with "...just deserts... which is still in your style. At any rate, I took it both ways anyway. Good one.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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well...new school and all, thats to be expected....-smile-
yep everybody's marching out of step ...in shit cant wait to get it off your shoe. alright...glad you enjoyed. love Michael
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You're most welcome
Comment from Leineco
so much dust
thrown up
........ mud to roll in
yet memory lingers
in Camelot idyll. . .
bright shining city rose-colored glasses
add spears of light to
willful denial
or homegrown insistence
on blinders persistence
it's never been pretty
this American mess of competing objectives
to be led
yet be left
........ completely autonomous
our music reflects it;
de Tocqueville told us
"The health
of a democratic society
may be measured
by the quality
of functions performed by private
citizens."
have we grown
too big for our britches,
or simply been left with
misdirected kvetches steeped in the tea
of honed and revised
history?
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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so much dust
thrown up
........ mud to roll in
yet memory lingers
in Camelot idyll. . .
bright shining city rose-colored glasses
add spears of light to
willful denial
or homegrown insistence
on blinders persistence
it's never been pretty
this American mess of competing objectives
to be led
yet be left
........ completely autonomous
our music reflects it;
de Tocqueville told us
"The health
of a democratic society
may be measured
by the quality
of functions performed by private
citizens."
have we grown
too big for our britches,
or simply been left with
misdirected kvetches steeped in the tea
of honed and revised
history?
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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man you're an expensive date Leinko...lets see
"kvtches" as we both know
grow do to stress related issues
brought about by bitches in too tight britches
who evil as they are
wish all felt the squeeze.
no Lienko as well you know, if I were to grow any taller...I would have to employ angels for us to continue to communicate.
now give me a kiss while I'm down here...-smile-...love Michael
No, silly boy, kvetches grow from a sense
of helplessness. "It is what it is and bitchn's
all I can do about it."
If the heartbeat of American Spirit can be
waylaid by longing for romanticized yesterdays -
then it wasn't ingrained deeply enough. But the
truth is - it's antipathy that has mis-measured
the beat. That, and our own success at success.
On some levels we have forgotten that fighting
is part of the program. We used to know everyone
was needed, and nothing comes without a cost.
But we've grown fat and sassy, lost our muscle
memory :-( Just want it fixed while we go off and
do our own thing.
We've forgotten our own elbow grease was as
important as our declarations. And forgotten that
compromise was the cornerstone of continued
progress.
And since I didn't say it in my original review -
I really like this poem a lot! You speak a language
many resonate with, quite nicely. (I just happen
to be a born counter-puncher. . . LOL. . .come
to fruition in the sixties, who believes in the power
of the people when they are pushed far enough).
:-)
(I'll pick up the tab this time - see you next time you're slumming down here ;-)
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-smile-....I like you Lienko...-smile-
I wanted to write a William Wallace declaration...and I tried but failed in I'm tired of feeling something that no else seems to...let's tell the truth epiphany.....I havent given up...just trying my way to wake up....did I tell you like you I really like you Lienko...-smile-
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Love the addition of "in school of thought" and the maybe after c'mon :-)
Poetry wise, I really like the "equalizing" of the stanza lengths too :-)
For my money - good editing :-)
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but.... what...?
listen if youre gonna owe me...we need to be honest Lienko. you still want "got got"...?
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Nope!
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The way you laid it out doesn't need the colloquialism :-)
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shwww thats good...I'm pretty sure colloquialism killed a couple people anyway....who loves you baby...-smile-
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only the ones with good taste ;-)
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well one of em's me...-smile- thanks caring...please keep-
Comment from judiverse
Excellent and profound work here. I too am dismayed that our country seems to have lost the ideals upon which it was founded. What used to be unacceptable is now accepted, and if you don't agree, too bad. Excellent comments about Martin Luther King and JFK. We have lost our Camelot, our ideals. Harmony has now gone, ironically more so under the administration of the One who was supposed to unite the country, The tone is definitely in keeping with your subject. It's cynical, and with good reason. judi
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Excellent and profound work here. I too am dismayed that our country seems to have lost the ideals upon which it was founded. What used to be unacceptable is now accepted, and if you don't agree, too bad. Excellent comments about Martin Luther King and JFK. We have lost our Camelot, our ideals. Harmony has now gone, ironically more so under the administration of the One who was supposed to unite the country, The tone is definitely in keeping with your subject. It's cynical, and with good reason. judi
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thanks Judi...-smile-
yes Maam...that we have. I believe "programmed" to abandon them.
from our nightly news, to Hollywood movies, from our politicians mouths, to our hero's transformation from Kennedy and King too rock stars and actors who pretend....when and if we ever get back to a place called paradise our hero's will be real and deserving again. love Michael
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You're very welcome. The future isn't looking too good right now. Sense of responsibility is lacking. judi
Comment from Bill Schott
This profound poem, America, says to me that none of the ideals I have expected will be forth coming. The things we encourage and back, become the very things used to bring us down. Wow!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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This profound poem, America, says to me that none of the ideals I have expected will be forth coming. The things we encourage and back, become the very things used to bring us down. Wow!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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did you ostriches dont really "stick their heads in the sand"
just saying someone made up...-headtilt-...wonder why. what they do do...is when confronted with overwhelming fear, they just fall to the ground and play possum. strange isn't it...as big as they are...for birds anyway.
I wrote a different one first more what I've seen bright shining ...gradually dull in a slow fade...more a defiant cry out to defend what I want and wish were still relevant and within reach. In my truthful opinion Bill...unless some miracle happens and "We" collectively come to "one" mind and understanding, that nothing changes unless "We" make it. instead we fight each other, look for reasons. How are things to change otherwise...? nobody represents the reality of us Bill...who...? Anyway....I'm not a ostrich...and I havent given up...Jesus I just want us to understand whats really going on. love michael
Comment from misscookie
I found your poem to be an interesting read. Maybe one day
This is what I call a food for thought poem.... naming after you read it you will go mm.
thank you for sharing.
Maybe one day the scale of justice will be balance.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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I found your poem to be an interesting read. Maybe one day
This is what I call a food for thought poem.... naming after you read it you will go mm.
thank you for sharing.
Maybe one day the scale of justice will be balance.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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Hello Misscookie...-smile-
yes Maam I'm known for hmmmm...
its my designer line...-smile-...thank you Dear. love Michael
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You made my day, you have a blessed one.
Cookie
Comment from johngie
Reconciled,
Interesting point of view. Your poem hits many touchy subjects in our society, past, present and future. Many can relate. Quite well done. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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Reconciled,
Interesting point of view. Your poem hits many touchy subjects in our society, past, present and future. Many can relate. Quite well done. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
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yes...oh...Hey John...yes indeed interesting in a terrifying way
that whatever can be trusted "they" kill. thanks man...love Michael
