Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Extremely powerful piece. THe reader is pulled in and feels surrounded by pain and loss. It hurts... we want out... but then we realize YOU can never get out. Only God can help now. Very well done.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts on this amazing poem and sorry for any descretions previously.
RICKY1024

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi Ricky,

I have to say that I find your work not easy to review. It is always brimming with emotion and feeling. This can frequently overpower the structure and format of your work. it is entirely understandable and if writing is about making people feel something then you achieve this wholeheartedly.

I think at some point you may wish to step back from the work (not the emotions and feelings) and appraise the writing. there are powerful messages and meanings which don't always come through or reach people due to the framework of the words.

You also say this is a poem but have promoted it in the prose section (people get a bit funny about that!)

Just something to think about.
I wish you all the very best
GMG

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts on this amazing poem and your interest in it's structure.
RICKY1024

Comment from Bobbi22

Excellent

Very well written and emotional prologue that entices the reader to know more. I am sorry for your pain and suffering and hope that writing has helped you through it.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts on my Son Jason and I am excited to see the Light of day and to share my gifts.
RICKY1024

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Ricky,
" Prologue 2016" is an excellent remembrance of your son, Jason. Rhyme and figurative language are excellent (Darkened skies of dread dance now in my sickened head) a fresh metaphors an good alliteration. I understand that writing poetry about him helps swage your grief but you have to let go sometime. I hope that I am not being too nosey.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016

March 30rh,2003at 9:00PM.I,YELLED HIS NAME WITH NO RESPOSE...
SEVENTEEN HOURS LATER AS VIAL AFTER VIAL.
I said theses words...
"I know You can here me...
"Your job here is almost done...
"About ten hours later..
Around midnight on the first..
They hooked Jason up to machines and started with the lesser..
After another unknown period of time...
Jason Richard Smrkovsky passed away from injuries sustained by numerous irregularities..
Today?
Three live on.


RICKY1024

Comment from Susanne M. Psyris

Excellent

Ricky1024...I am hoping this is not how you literally feel right now. I know you have so much sadness to deal with in your life, but nothing makes it right to commit suicide. It is a sin against God and man. That being said, I think this poem is extremely sensitive and exposes a very depressed man asking God's guidance in making his decision about committing suicide. And, in the end, decides for himself, exercising his free will given by God to go ahead and do it. It's very sad and moving and well-written. Great write. God bless and hugs, Susanne

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts on my poetry.
Call 911 if you or you know anyone contemplating the thoughts of Suicde.
RICKY1024

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Ricky. Another powerfu piece mate that would tear at anyones heart strings

"!?"This Frozen Heart in Me!"?! " (Some marks that need to be removed)

""Contiplated(Contemplated) taking my Life... "

"Attempt again and do what I must d(o) ?"

Well done.

Cheers Fez
...

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts on poetry.
RICKY1024