Note in a Pot
We are all clay vessels.80 total reviews
Comment from JW
The pot is beautiful - the poem, as well.
In reading this, it reminded me how some day when it is my time to go, how I would like to be cremates. And for my ashes to be spread in the wind.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
  |
The pot is beautiful - the poem, as well.
In reading this, it reminded me how some day when it is my time to go, how I would like to be cremates. And for my ashes to be spread in the wind.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, JW, my poem has resonated with many people who have scattered the ashes of loved ones or who are opting to be cremated themselves. I am glad you found the pot and poem beautiful. Thank you for your review.
Comment from innerworlds
What a touching and personal message you have shared. We are invited to walk with you as you travel through a journey of loss. But instead of pain and emptiness, this journey is filled loving memories.
First, we learn of your father's death, but also learn that the pot chosen to carry his ashes was one that he had personally made. a loving gift to a child which was honored in turn as the child carries the loved one' ashes in that vessel..
Next, mother nature accepts the gift, reminding us that our bodies are only a part of our human existence. But when our physical existence ends, what remains?
The imagery in the third stanza is a beautifully poetic and joyful explanation of those possibilities. This stanza also contains my favorite line in this work: Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly on the bottom of Pandora's Box after the world's evils escaped. What a wonderful comparison between the evils we deal with in this The final stanza helps us to understand the insight and love with which the father lived his life.... and was instilled in his child.
And last, the photo with the note leaves an image a love that carries beyond death. I once wrote to a family who lost their child, " Life is not so far from death that love cannot connect them." And I believe it.
Thank you for this uplifting work. Wishing you the best in the contest.
innerworlds
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
 |
What a touching and personal message you have shared. We are invited to walk with you as you travel through a journey of loss. But instead of pain and emptiness, this journey is filled loving memories.
First, we learn of your father's death, but also learn that the pot chosen to carry his ashes was one that he had personally made. a loving gift to a child which was honored in turn as the child carries the loved one' ashes in that vessel..
Next, mother nature accepts the gift, reminding us that our bodies are only a part of our human existence. But when our physical existence ends, what remains?
The imagery in the third stanza is a beautifully poetic and joyful explanation of those possibilities. This stanza also contains my favorite line in this work: Perhaps hope trembles like a butterfly on the bottom of Pandora's Box after the world's evils escaped. What a wonderful comparison between the evils we deal with in this The final stanza helps us to understand the insight and love with which the father lived his life.... and was instilled in his child.
And last, the photo with the note leaves an image a love that carries beyond death. I once wrote to a family who lost their child, " Life is not so far from death that love cannot connect them." And I believe it.
Thank you for this uplifting work. Wishing you the best in the contest.
innerworlds
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, innerworlds, for your complete review and analysis of my poem. I am thrilled at the third stanza, too. The poem was originally thrice as long but I decided to focus on the parts that resonated with me the most. I love your quote, "Life is not so far from death that love cannot connect them." That describes my experience.
Thank you for your generous, six star review of my "uplifting work." Thank you also for wishing me success in the contest.
-
You are most welcome. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
Comment from enitsalemap
I love this poem and the story that it tells. Your father and his ashes, the love note in the clay pot are both wonderful connections to him and his own work as a potter and a poet. Great gifts are given in this life and these were gifts to you from him.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
I love this poem and the story that it tells. Your father and his ashes, the love note in the clay pot are both wonderful connections to him and his own work as a potter and a poet. Great gifts are given in this life and these were gifts to you from him.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Yes, enitsalemap, "Great gifts are given in this life and these were gifts to you from him." I am pleased that I told a story in poetry about my father and his pottery. I am glad his love note in a pot provides a connection to him. Thank you for your review.
-
you are welcome
Comment from roseworker
I loved the tight writing, beautiful imagery and entire sentiment of this poem! Bravo!! It's especially meaningful to me as I'm currently awaiting just the right moment to add my late partner's ashes to the earth in our greenhouse - a very special place we both loved so much. Kitty/roseworker
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
I loved the tight writing, beautiful imagery and entire sentiment of this poem! Bravo!! It's especially meaningful to me as I'm currently awaiting just the right moment to add my late partner's ashes to the earth in our greenhouse - a very special place we both loved so much. Kitty/roseworker
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, Kitty, for noting my tight writing. My poem was originally thrice as long, but I cut out the beginning and end to focus on the part I loved best in the middle. What I learned from this free verse poem was knowing when to start and stop it. I am glad you approved of the results.
My poem has resonated with people, such as you, who had scattered or are about to scatter the ashes of loved ones.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
This is truly a stunning work. The words leave your father a legacy of greatness and wisdom. The picture is just lovely. The piece is quite emotive and requires the reader to think about its content. I loved it. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
This is truly a stunning work. The words leave your father a legacy of greatness and wisdom. The picture is just lovely. The piece is quite emotive and requires the reader to think about its content. I loved it. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, Susanne, I am glad you found my piece "quite emotive." When I saw the contest announcement for What is a Clay Vessel, I knew that I as the son of a potter and a poet had to write something that would match and celebrate my father's work. I am glad I have achieved that with my poem. Thank you for your review and for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from Slythytove2
Clay, to retain its shape must be" tested" with fire, perhaps this is the reason all human cultures are measured by it, and isn't it interesting to also note that when we want to express our understanding of someone's humanness we say "he had feet of clay". Your poem is a beautiful expression of how close our relationship to clay actually is in spite of our claims of omnipotence. A very nice piece.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
Clay, to retain its shape must be" tested" with fire, perhaps this is the reason all human cultures are measured by it, and isn't it interesting to also note that when we want to express our understanding of someone's humanness we say "he had feet of clay". Your poem is a beautiful expression of how close our relationship to clay actually is in spite of our claims of omnipotence. A very nice piece.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Yes, Slythytove2, it is amazing "how close our relationship to clay actually is." No one understood this more than my father who worked as a potter for sixty years. I am glad my poem resonated with you. Thank you for your review.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading this contest entry. There's a praise song; "You are the Potter, and I am the clay." I think it's very true. Your poem flowed nicely and gave a wonderful message. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
I really enjoyed reading this contest entry. There's a praise song; "You are the Potter, and I am the clay." I think it's very true. Your poem flowed nicely and gave a wonderful message. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, Barbara, I am glad you enjoyed my contest entry. Thank you for your review and for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from Neonewman
What a beautifully crafted piece you have entered for this particular writing prompt. I love the letter in the clay pot idea. Best of luck in the contest.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
What a beautifully crafted piece you have entered for this particular writing prompt. I love the letter in the clay pot idea. Best of luck in the contest.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, Steve, I am glad you enjoyed my "beautifully crafted piece." Thank you for your review and for wishing me success in the contest.
-
My pleasure!
Comment from nomi338
You should treasure this with your whole heart. I received hardly anything that I can hold onto of my father as we hardly knew each other. And yet as I speak to people who knew him well I find that he and I are so much alike it is almost like we were at each others side constantly. I know that he was on my mind often and maybe just maybe the same was true of him. The love and influence of a father is very different from the relationship with a mother. Each is vital and necessary to the child's development. To grow up without either is to feel incomplete in your development as an adult. I often wonder what I should know that my father never taught me.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
You should treasure this with your whole heart. I received hardly anything that I can hold onto of my father as we hardly knew each other. And yet as I speak to people who knew him well I find that he and I are so much alike it is almost like we were at each others side constantly. I know that he was on my mind often and maybe just maybe the same was true of him. The love and influence of a father is very different from the relationship with a mother. Each is vital and necessary to the child's development. To grow up without either is to feel incomplete in your development as an adult. I often wonder what I should know that my father never taught me.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Yes, nomi338, I often "what I should know that my father never taught me." My parent's divorced when I was four and I did not have a close relationship with my father. Only in the last decade of his life did we form a relationship. His note in a pot is a cherished treasure for me. Whenever I miss him, I read that note.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from djeckert
Wow, a very nice poem with some great educational supplementation. I always,lastsve reading this kind of info, very intriguing and inspiring. God Bless.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
|
Wow, a very nice poem with some great educational supplementation. I always,lastsve reading this kind of info, very intriguing and inspiring. God Bless.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2016
-
Thank you, djeckert, for your review. I am glad you found this to be "a very nice poem with some great educational supplementation." God bless you, too.
