Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

I was really moved by your poem, Ricky. Having lost the last of my sisters just three months ago, I am lost without her special love and spirit. I hope that this poem brings you a measure of peace, and thank you for sharing.

WFD

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks so much for your review and kind thoughts of My Son Jason and sorry for your loss.,
Ricky 1024

reply by Writingfundimension on 03-Jul-2016

You'e very welcome, Ricky. I appreciate your kind words.

Comment from rccantu

Needs Improvement

I could feel the pain and joy in the writing. It was very heartfelt. There were some grammatical errors and a few lines could use a rewrite to clarify the thoughts.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks so much for your review and kind thoughts of My Son Jason.
It is edited and completed now..
Ricky 1024

Comment from cterp

Excellent

Very sorry about your son. Not sure why you have open quote marks on each line without close quote marks at the end, or why each line ends with an ellipsis. There are a few typos you probably want to fix.
Line 1: silently
Line 6: since
Line 8: know (also: cor??)
Line 9: You're
Line 13: To Touch
Line 15: Spirit
Line 17: thrice

chris

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks so much for your review and kind thoughts of My Son Jason .
I was wruyying this on a bus with too much light. It is compltedup up and lengthened.
Ricky 1024.