Unwilling Prey
Flash Fiction-Potlatch Practice28 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice work, Mikey! I enjoyed this little flash piece. Dogbert Balderfinfarm is great name. Where did you come up with that?
I only have one suggestion. Combine your first two sentences together as the second lacks a verb.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Nice work, Mikey! I enjoyed this little flash piece. Dogbert Balderfinfarm is great name. Where did you come up with that?
I only have one suggestion. Combine your first two sentences together as the second lacks a verb.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 26-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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The names just occur to me. I don't know exactly. I think about them and have some kind of thought process at the time, but after the fact I seldom recall what led me to them.
Good catch on the first two sentences. We just toss these out unedited, so any editing help is appreciated. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from l.raven
Hi Michael, Bravo Laura...don't let the son-of-a-beach get away....in real life...to many do...I love your story told my friend...you never let on who he was...a great Flash Fiction you...very well written...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Hi Michael, Bravo Laura...don't let the son-of-a-beach get away....in real life...to many do...I love your story told my friend...you never let on who he was...a great Flash Fiction you...very well written...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Wow. Sorry to be so late responding. What an awesome review. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this. I'm a big fan of the underdog especially when they take out a bully or a creep like this fool.
Thanks a billion Queen Of Sweetness From Sweetopia. mikey xxoo
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OTFLMAO...where do you come up with these titles...I love them...like you I can't stand a bully...was like that in school...thank you Michael...and you are so very welcome...xxoo Linda
Comment from Gloria ....
Wonderful flash fiction story, Mav. It's David and Goliath all over again and we do so love it when the smaller takes out the much bigger bully or in this case horrible awful Redwood Rapist.
I'd say you are right ready for this Sunday's Prose Potlatch.
Exceptional job with this.
Ange.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Wonderful flash fiction story, Mav. It's David and Goliath all over again and we do so love it when the smaller takes out the much bigger bully or in this case horrible awful Redwood Rapist.
I'd say you are right ready for this Sunday's Prose Potlatch.
Exceptional job with this.
Ange.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Big bullies are just itching to be dropped like the punks they are. Most people just don't realize it. Yep, Ange, she took this fool out. Glad you liked.
Mav
Comment from Ima L. Ami
Great FlashFiction with a super cool twist at the end. The title is perfect for this story. You had me feeling sorry for "The Dogster" in the beginning! Do you think the anger from having his dreams stolen may have driven him to become an abuser? Even knowing he is a predator doesn't take away the feeling of sympathy for his loss. Good thing Laura's a bad ass bitch!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Great FlashFiction with a super cool twist at the end. The title is perfect for this story. You had me feeling sorry for "The Dogster" in the beginning! Do you think the anger from having his dreams stolen may have driven him to become an abuser? Even knowing he is a predator doesn't take away the feeling of sympathy for his loss. Good thing Laura's a bad ass bitch!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Yep, Laura wasn't about to be a victim to that asshole. She took him out. Love chicks like that. :))
I received your book by the way. It is most cool and I'm enjoying it totally. Love that your from the swamps and bayous. Wow.
How's it doing? It's got a great cover and looks super.
Glad you liked this. I've been sick, so I'm waaaaaay behind. mikey
Comment from LIJ Red
Would be nice to know how the little lady managed to hamstring ol' Dogbert. Looks like a very appropriate practice run at the 500 word flash.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Would be nice to know how the little lady managed to hamstring ol' Dogbert. Looks like a very appropriate practice run at the 500 word flash.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Grabbed his knife and cut his Achilles tendon. LOL
Not bad for a practice and as it turns out, way better than the real thing. mikey
Comment from Pearl Edwards
She now looked only to reunite with Dogbert. That sentence had me fooled, didn't think of him as being her attacker. Good ending mikey. Yea for Laura,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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She now looked only to reunite with Dogbert. That sentence had me fooled, didn't think of him as being her attacker. Good ending mikey. Yea for Laura,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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I'm so behind. Jeesh. Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed. mikey
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Mike,
Awesome Flash Fiction for -Potlatch Practice. In a few words you managed to deliver a complete, well thought out plot and characters. You are Amazing, young man.
Unwilling Prey is a fast pacing, suspenseful, well-written piece. I know you are going to nail this challenge.
I was confused about, Dogbert and Laura's relationship. I thought they were lovers and at the end...Wham!!! It's a fucking rapist!
I was an advocate of raped victims for two years and I appreciate your story and happy ending.
Well done, brother Mike, I love you, you snicky flasher, you. LoL
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Hello, Mike,
Awesome Flash Fiction for -Potlatch Practice. In a few words you managed to deliver a complete, well thought out plot and characters. You are Amazing, young man.
Unwilling Prey is a fast pacing, suspenseful, well-written piece. I know you are going to nail this challenge.
I was confused about, Dogbert and Laura's relationship. I thought they were lovers and at the end...Wham!!! It's a fucking rapist!
I was an advocate of raped victims for two years and I appreciate your story and happy ending.
Well done, brother Mike, I love you, you snicky flasher, you. LoL
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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It is a happy ending. I loved her taking it to that bastard. YES!!! Glad you enjoyed. Still catching up. mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! I like this a lot. As soon as you mention a brutal attack, I knew Laura had caused his injuries... glad to know he really deserved it all. Petite Power! Yessss!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Bravo! I like this a lot. As soon as you mention a brutal attack, I knew Laura had caused his injuries... glad to know he really deserved it all. Petite Power! Yessss!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Oh yes, small rules. I figured you'd catch on right away. Yep, she took the fool out. LOL mikey
Comment from Ric Myworld
"What a difference a day makes," in all of our lives. One simple mistake or bad choice can change our lives for ever, or end it in seconds. Not every celebrity or sports star is a good person, and of course it should go without saying that, they all aren't rapist or murderers. Unfortunately, we never know until it's too late. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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"What a difference a day makes," in all of our lives. One simple mistake or bad choice can change our lives for ever, or end it in seconds. Not every celebrity or sports star is a good person, and of course it should go without saying that, they all aren't rapist or murderers. Unfortunately, we never know until it's too late. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Wow. Thanks for all the stars. So pleased you liked this one. Thanks a million. All true what you say. mikey
Comment from MTF1955
That was very interesting and I like the twist at the end. I'm thinking she's concerned for his safety never realizing he was the one who did the unspeakable. Nicley done. Mary
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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That was very interesting and I like the twist at the end. I'm thinking she's concerned for his safety never realizing he was the one who did the unspeakable. Nicley done. Mary
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Perfect. I wanted it to be a surprise at the end. Glad you liked it, Mary. Thanks a bunch, mikey