Failure
I Just Didn't Know43 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Ulla, you have to write a follow up, let them find him and the two wives and Charlotte have him in a deep dungeon and sort him out!! That was excellent, Ulla, and a really good contest entry. That happens a lot to older more vulnerable widows. The story was so well written, and honestly leaves itself to a continuation. Good luck in the contest, my friend. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Oh, Ulla, you have to write a follow up, let them find him and the two wives and Charlotte have him in a deep dungeon and sort him out!! That was excellent, Ulla, and a really good contest entry. That happens a lot to older more vulnerable widows. The story was so well written, and honestly leaves itself to a continuation. Good luck in the contest, my friend. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Hi Sandra, first thanks for your great review, and I'm so happy that you like the story. I think I will write a continuation. It lends itself to it I think. Thanks for encouraging me to do that. I hope you are fine and I'm so looking forward to read the continuation of your great story. Just spoke to Alexis yesterday. Ulla xxx
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I am so pleased you are doing a sequel, it really begs for it! My first half of the last part is on now, and the second part, which will be the absolute last part will be on here on Tuesday. Does that sound right? LOL xx
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That sounds great. I'm going to read now. xxx
Comment from P1
a sad little story and it gives a note
of caution ... do not take people at face value
so many scams now, your story was a good
read very real and emotional at the end.
thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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a sad little story and it gives a note
of caution ... do not take people at face value
so many scams now, your story was a good
read very real and emotional at the end.
thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so very much for the great review. I'm glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hola, bonita,
What a horrible jerk! I know, Martin's type of men. They are despicable and sooner or later they all get caught. Karma is a bitch.
I can't wait to see what kind of revenge, Charlotte And Karen have in mind. Good job, sweetie pie.
Tu amiga, la gitana
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hola, bonita,
What a horrible jerk! I know, Martin's type of men. They are despicable and sooner or later they all get caught. Karma is a bitch.
I can't wait to see what kind of revenge, Charlotte And Karen have in mind. Good job, sweetie pie.
Tu amiga, la gitana
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hola Gitana, I'm so glad you liked it. Un abrazo y un besito de tu amiga, Ulla:))
Comment from ciliverde
Nice job on this, how awful that feeling is to be deceived. One ends up feeling foolish, lovesick, and in this case, divested of a lot of money! I wonder what plans Karen will make? She's got something in mind!
Well done,
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Nice job on this, how awful that feeling is to be deceived. One ends up feeling foolish, lovesick, and in this case, divested of a lot of money! I wonder what plans Karen will make? She's got something in mind!
Well done,
Carol
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much, Carol, much appreciated. I'm glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from robina1978
Lovely artwork that complements your interesting story very well. You wrote extremely well about two friends, after one of them got conned in her relationship. Good entry for this contest. I just did not know. Best wishes for it.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Lovely artwork that complements your interesting story very well. You wrote extremely well about two friends, after one of them got conned in her relationship. Good entry for this contest. I just did not know. Best wishes for it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hi Ine, Thanks so very much. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Kooky Clown
a clever and well written piece of work although it did not hold enough mystery to me as what was to happen in the end it was somehow guessable that Charlotte was either pregnant or had been conned. However a good read.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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a clever and well written piece of work although it did not hold enough mystery to me as what was to happen in the end it was somehow guessable that Charlotte was either pregnant or had been conned. However a good read.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks very much for the review. If read to end it's pretty obvious she'd been conned. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from MelB
A very good contest entry, Ulla. Those rebound relationships can really be a nightmare. I really like the ending line of dinner's on me!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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A very good contest entry, Ulla. Those rebound relationships can really be a nightmare. I really like the ending line of dinner's on me!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot Melissa for the this great review. All the best. Ulla:)))
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My pleasure, Ulla.
Comment from CEO2020
You clearly have what it takes to write a book. The challenge is carrying a story from beginning to end. I feel that you like to change directions when you write so short stories might suit you best.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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You clearly have what it takes to write a book. The challenge is carrying a story from beginning to end. I feel that you like to change directions when you write so short stories might suit you best.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks so very much. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from mfowler
'Dinner's on me.' Great closing line. How ironic after the con trick Charlotte had fallen for.
Your story is told in hindsight via this conversation between two friends. It's a clever structure if you handle it well, and you certainly did. By inserting the drinking, the food and the questioner, in the form of Karen, your story of Charlotte's fall is told in a most natural of ways. It also allow characters the benefit of hindsight, relief in the form of 'well, it's over and she survived, and the room to move in re telling long detailed sections without having to write pages eg the detective investigation. Imagine writing that all in real time from a first person or third person point of view. 3,000 words, maybe? The whole plot is very plausible and your characters, especially Charlotte's, well drawn via her comments and experiences. A really good interpretation of the prompt. I wish you well with the voters.
In Paragraph 2, I'd remove the end word 'though' from the second sentence as it does nothing except complicate the grammar unnecessarily.
One suggestion:
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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'Dinner's on me.' Great closing line. How ironic after the con trick Charlotte had fallen for.
Your story is told in hindsight via this conversation between two friends. It's a clever structure if you handle it well, and you certainly did. By inserting the drinking, the food and the questioner, in the form of Karen, your story of Charlotte's fall is told in a most natural of ways. It also allow characters the benefit of hindsight, relief in the form of 'well, it's over and she survived, and the room to move in re telling long detailed sections without having to write pages eg the detective investigation. Imagine writing that all in real time from a first person or third person point of view. 3,000 words, maybe? The whole plot is very plausible and your characters, especially Charlotte's, well drawn via her comments and experiences. A really good interpretation of the prompt. I wish you well with the voters.
In Paragraph 2, I'd remove the end word 'though' from the second sentence as it does nothing except complicate the grammar unnecessarily.
One suggestion:
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hi Mark, again a great review. I'm sorry to be so late in answering, but been busy of late.Have looked at your suggestion. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Ulla,
It's an interesting piece of General Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple i.e. easy to understand as well as impressive.
Smooth, spontaneous and captivating flow, especially from 'Karen snapped out of her reverie when Charlotte said, "Would you like another coffee?' And onward up to the end.
Entertaining and Educative, having a moral 'We should not be too hasty in believing others.'
A good story, and nicely narrated!
Wish you Best of Luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Hello Ulla,
It's an interesting piece of General Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple i.e. easy to understand as well as impressive.
Smooth, spontaneous and captivating flow, especially from 'Karen snapped out of her reverie when Charlotte said, "Would you like another coffee?' And onward up to the end.
Entertaining and Educative, having a moral 'We should not be too hasty in believing others.'
A good story, and nicely narrated!
Wish you Best of Luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the praise and the lovely stars. You've again made my day. I so appreciate it. Thanks so much for all your support. All the best. Ulla:))
