Sea Shell Reveals A Song
trinet-contest entry6 total reviews
Comment from foxangie123
This is so uplifting and neat. Shells are so very Kool and I remember trying to listen to the ocean as I held them to my ear. This is a perfect write and read.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
  |
This is so uplifting and neat. Shells are so very Kool and I remember trying to listen to the ocean as I held them to my ear. This is a perfect write and read.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
-
Thank you
Comment from Hayley Solomon
The sea shell that sings. I like that. I have obviously got very similar memories to you in respect of seashells! Both as a mother and as a daughter. Thank you for a very enjoyable read. You might just want to add commas here and there, they quite often enhance flow and meaning.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
 |
The sea shell that sings. I like that. I have obviously got very similar memories to you in respect of seashells! Both as a mother and as a daughter. Thank you for a very enjoyable read. You might just want to add commas here and there, they quite often enhance flow and meaning.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
Thank you for your review
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I don't think you've lived if you haven't had a sea shell that you can hear the waves in. The best part is that someone told me I could hear the waves in it so I probably just heard them, like a placebo thing, but it's fun to make memories like that. Great job
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
|
I don't think you've lived if you haven't had a sea shell that you can hear the waves in. The best part is that someone told me I could hear the waves in it so I probably just heard them, like a placebo thing, but it's fun to make memories like that. Great job
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
Thank you for your review
Comment from cumulus365
The writing prompt is trinet which is repeat this pattern 2 more times, for a total of three stanzas, if centered correctly it looks like three crosses-- you have a total of four stanzas. Should there be four stanzas? I don't know how restrictive the prompt is. Your format is exemplary. Your poem meets the syllabic counts. The content is wonderfully organized. I like the way your poem begins with the moonlight then the sunrise, then the beach goers early in the morning picking up the seashell, the story is just flow nicely. The presentation of the sea shore is clean and just refreshing by looking at it. The words are short, simple, yet the meaning of the poem is rich (on the beach, mother and son, barefoot on soft sand,collect sea shells they like). The illustration of the poem is exemplary. Best regards.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
The writing prompt is trinet which is repeat this pattern 2 more times, for a total of three stanzas, if centered correctly it looks like three crosses-- you have a total of four stanzas. Should there be four stanzas? I don't know how restrictive the prompt is. Your format is exemplary. Your poem meets the syllabic counts. The content is wonderfully organized. I like the way your poem begins with the moonlight then the sunrise, then the beach goers early in the morning picking up the seashell, the story is just flow nicely. The presentation of the sea shore is clean and just refreshing by looking at it. The words are short, simple, yet the meaning of the poem is rich (on the beach, mother and son, barefoot on soft sand,collect sea shells they like). The illustration of the poem is exemplary. Best regards.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
Thank you for your review and pointing out how many stanzas are allowed. Caught up with syllable count for some reason. I have edited and I have deleted a paragraph.
-
You are welcome. Good luck in the contest. Best.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a lovely write about mother and son collecting shells at sunrise, listening to the ocean fantasy, however, on checking the criteria for a trinet poem it stipulates 2 words 6 words not syllables. You may need to check that out for the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
This is a lovely write about mother and son collecting shells at sunrise, listening to the ocean fantasy, however, on checking the criteria for a trinet poem it stipulates 2 words 6 words not syllables. You may need to check that out for the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
Thank you for your review and pointing out how many stanzas are allowed. Caught up with syllable count for some reason. I have edited and I have deleted a paragraph
Comment from Nika2016
I love this little poem! It sings of the sea and dolphins and whales..a discarded shell that sings the tale to the child of the sonnets and songs of the past.
Great work.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
I love this little poem! It sings of the sea and dolphins and whales..a discarded shell that sings the tale to the child of the sonnets and songs of the past.
Great work.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
Thank you for your review- I have edited to have only 3 stanzas
