Remorse
A lie has tragic consequences.36 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good Trinet, Ogden, very expressive. You've also followed the form of the Trinet as required:
Line 1 - 2 words
Line 2 - 2 words
Line 3 - 6 words
Line 4 - 6 words
Line 5 - 2 words
Line 6 - 2 words
Line 7 - 2 words
You've repeated this pattern 2 more times, for a total of three stanzas, and centered all of the stanza correctly so that it looks like three crosses.
We can't ask for more than that out of this form of poetic expression, can we?
~Dean Kuch
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Good Trinet, Ogden, very expressive. You've also followed the form of the Trinet as required:
Line 1 - 2 words
Line 2 - 2 words
Line 3 - 6 words
Line 4 - 6 words
Line 5 - 2 words
Line 6 - 2 words
Line 7 - 2 words
You've repeated this pattern 2 more times, for a total of three stanzas, and centered all of the stanza correctly so that it looks like three crosses.
We can't ask for more than that out of this form of poetic expression, can we?
~Dean Kuch
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your favorable comments on my Trinet Contest entry, Dean.
Kuch appreciated!
Ogden (aka Don)
Comment from William Ross
very good, nice job on the trinet, good rhyming and a great read on remorse of trying to settle an argument only to find out it was only a dream.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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very good, nice job on the trinet, good rhyming and a great read on remorse of trying to settle an argument only to find out it was only a dream.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the excellent review and your continuing support, William!
Don
Comment from Domino 2
Nice random rhymes and touches of alliteration add interest to this excellent free verse with the metaphor of the tormenting 'duel' metaphor based on the reality of your deep regrets, Bill.
Cheers, Ray.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Nice random rhymes and touches of alliteration add interest to this excellent free verse with the metaphor of the tormenting 'duel' metaphor based on the reality of your deep regrets, Bill.
Cheers, Ray.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your much appreciated compliments, Ray!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Trinet poem. We have to accept the consequences of our actions. When w do the wrong thing we can't expect the right things to happen.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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A very well-written Trinet poem. We have to accept the consequences of our actions. When w do the wrong thing we can't expect the right things to happen.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks Sandra! I appreciate your support.
Ogden
Comment from Leineco
I absolutely loved this clever use of the Trinet form!
(not to mention, I was amazed at how fluidly and
captivatingly it read)
Technically perfect and definitely vote-worthy!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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I absolutely loved this clever use of the Trinet form!
(not to mention, I was amazed at how fluidly and
captivatingly it read)
Technically perfect and definitely vote-worthy!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Leinco, I appreciate your flattering comments more than I can express! And backing them up with a sixer was icing on my birthday cake! How did you know? My sincere thanks!
Ogden
Comment from sage17611
Wow, what a dream, one that you don't mind waking up from, more like a nightmare, lol. I have had many dreams that I awoke from thanking God that it was just a dream. I like the theme of your poem, which flows nicely and is well written. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Wow, what a dream, one that you don't mind waking up from, more like a nightmare, lol. I have had many dreams that I awoke from thanking God that it was just a dream. I like the theme of your poem, which flows nicely and is well written. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Thanks for another terrific review, Sage! They are always very much appreciated!
Ogden
Comment from ciliverde
What an interesting form! Never heard of it before - I'll have to investigate further. I like your poem a lot. It's terse and very to the point (sorry), telling a rather grim story. But then you awake, to find that it's only a dream, but a damnable dream! Any shreds of truth to it?
We'll never know :)
Carol
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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What an interesting form! Never heard of it before - I'll have to investigate further. I like your poem a lot. It's terse and very to the point (sorry), telling a rather grim story. But then you awake, to find that it's only a dream, but a damnable dream! Any shreds of truth to it?
We'll never know :)
Carol
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Thanks for your compliments, ciliverde! I appreciate them a lot!
(I certainly hope I have no shreds lurking somewhere where such shreds lurk.)
Ogden
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I don't know much about the committee that passes the pieces for contest, but I don't see the three crosses. I love the pieces and the count is perfect. A story in a poem and well executed into a dream
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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I don't know much about the committee that passes the pieces for contest, but I don't see the three crosses. I love the pieces and the count is perfect. A story in a poem and well executed into a dream
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks for your compliments, Barb! It's rewarding to hear you enjoyed my poem. I think the way the simulated crosses look depend on the size of your screen. I noticed they look more cross-like on my computer than my laptop.
Ogden (aka Don)
Comment from hhalapin19
This was definitely a thrilling read! Such a short poem but I was intrigued nonetheless. I felt myself wondering what would happen, being intrigued by the idea of what was next. A truly fantastic piece. Very well-written and it creates such vivid images! Great entry. God Bless.
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This was definitely a thrilling read! Such a short poem but I was intrigued nonetheless. I felt myself wondering what would happen, being intrigued by the idea of what was next. A truly fantastic piece. Very well-written and it creates such vivid images! Great entry. God Bless.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
Comment from royowen
I think I come across a new form of poetry every day, and Lo and behold another one that I haven't seen before. It obviously must be based on stanza count not line count, with no specific line syllable count. Extremely interesting theme, seems like it's based on a dream. The narrative is well written with a good style staccato meter, to aptly harshen the narrative, articulate and a good image making descriptive text, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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I think I come across a new form of poetry every day, and Lo and behold another one that I haven't seen before. It obviously must be based on stanza count not line count, with no specific line syllable count. Extremely interesting theme, seems like it's based on a dream. The narrative is well written with a good style staccato meter, to aptly harshen the narrative, articulate and a good image making descriptive text, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Count words, not syllables. 2-2-6-6-6-2-2-2 words a line, 3 stanzas. Lots of fun to noodle on..
Thank you for your generous compliments, wishes and blessings!
Prediction: You will win the next Trinet contest, Roy
Ogden
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Most welcome
