Remorse
A lie has tragic consequences.36 total reviews
Comment from Lisa Deverick
A lie has tragic consequences indeed...Your short poem tells quite a story. Great wordage used throughout. Much enjoyed :)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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A lie has tragic consequences indeed...Your short poem tells quite a story. Great wordage used throughout. Much enjoyed :)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thanks for another complimentary review, Lisa. Your comments are always very appreciated!
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment from c_lucas
It is good when a nightmare can be categorize as a dream. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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It is good when a nightmare can be categorize as a dream. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the terrific review, C! I really appreciate your compliments!
Ogden (aka Don)
Comment from johnwilson
I really liked this piece from the very first line. I didn't know where you were going with it (part of the fun of poetry) and I liked the ending. This poem must have been difficult to write with the restrictions given; however, it works and I wouldn't change anything!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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I really liked this piece from the very first line. I didn't know where you were going with it (part of the fun of poetry) and I liked the ending. This poem must have been difficult to write with the restrictions given; however, it works and I wouldn't change anything!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Sincere thanks for your obviously sincere comments, John! It's very rewarding to know that you read and enjoyed what I wrote. Unfortunately, too often reviewers have no interest in the work they're reviewing, or even the reviews they write.
I tried to "nominate" you, which I don't do very often, and was surprised to find that I already have used the quota. That's never happened before.
Don (aka Ogden)
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People are people; some good, some bad, some nothing more than scammers....However, I've been here since May & have finally weeded out the positive from the nothings...
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Wow, a TRIPLE trinet! Each one conforms with 2-2-6-6-2-2-2 word format. An entertaining write with a nice surprise ending. Thank goodness it was just a dream! :)
Best wishes for the contest!
Connie
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Wow, a TRIPLE trinet! Each one conforms with 2-2-6-6-2-2-2 word format. An entertaining write with a nice surprise ending. Thank goodness it was just a dream! :)
Best wishes for the contest!
Connie
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thanks for your generous compliments and wishes, girl!
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
I am glad that this duel didn't take place because you are still a free man. You still have your friends and life goes on. Well done,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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I am glad that this duel didn't take place because you are still a free man. You still have your friends and life goes on. Well done,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your empathy, Jim, but the poem is fictional. You have a kind heart!
Ogden
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Ogden, this is a very good entry into the Trinet Poetry contest! Should fare very well. The story in the words has universal appeal and unfolds very clearly and directly. Nice alliteration in line four of second verse with the "c". I truly enjoyed this writing. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
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Ogden, this is a very good entry into the Trinet Poetry contest! Should fare very well. The story in the words has universal appeal and unfolds very clearly and directly. Nice alliteration in line four of second verse with the "c". I truly enjoyed this writing. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
Comment from rjuselius
This is a fine trinet dear Ogden! Slightly a cliche waking up on a nightmare. But it works. The alliteration is sincerely good.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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This is a fine trinet dear Ogden! Slightly a cliche waking up on a nightmare. But it works. The alliteration is sincerely good.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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You're absolutely right about the cliched ending, rjuselius. The idea is dependent on it, so it was one of those compromises we make most of the time we write. Thanks for your complimentary review!
Ogden (aka Don)
Comment from Zue65
The hypocrisy of a duel, during the age of nobility, where friends and brothers may kill each other and fight to death in the name of honor. It is just a euphemism for murder. It is good that it is just a dream. LOL. Good job.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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The hypocrisy of a duel, during the age of nobility, where friends and brothers may kill each other and fight to death in the name of honor. It is just a euphemism for murder. It is good that it is just a dream. LOL. Good job.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the compliment, Nassus. Much appreciated!.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Your trinets were perfectly executed with the 2-2-6-6-2-2-2 word counts, and told the story with flawless rhythm. Thank goodness it turned out to be a dream, and he hadn't killed his friend. Well done, and good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
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Your trinets were perfectly executed with the 2-2-6-6-2-2-2 word counts, and told the story with flawless rhythm. Thank goodness it turned out to be a dream, and he hadn't killed his friend. Well done, and good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
Comment from Pantygynt
Strange things happen in dreams. The unexplained but hinted accusations and denials result in an unlikely duel with training weapons which nevertheless prove lethal and a friend is killed but it is all a dream. The three crosses effect hasn't worked paricularly well here because although the word count is correct the six word cross lines have slipped ont a second line in the second stanza. You may have been let down by Evil Eddie here.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Strange things happen in dreams. The unexplained but hinted accusations and denials result in an unlikely duel with training weapons which nevertheless prove lethal and a friend is killed but it is all a dream. The three crosses effect hasn't worked paricularly well here because although the word count is correct the six word cross lines have slipped ont a second line in the second stanza. You may have been let down by Evil Eddie here.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your very insightful review, Pantygynt!
