Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

I like the way you have fashioned your words together here. I can find no fault within the poetic styling of this piece of poetic art. I enjoyed reading this excellent piece of poetic art... John

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

Comment from Ginger Banks

Excellent

You are very creative to create such a poem about the subject of murder, with a happy ending no less! This is intuitive and has developed interesting pictures in the mind of your reader, thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

Comment from fionageorge

Excellent

What a great entry to this Trinet Poetry contest. Beautifully structured, great subject matter, with a surprise ending. It meets the criteria and I wish you well in the contest. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016

I'm pleased to meet you, Marijke! It's very rewarding to know that you appreciated my poem. Thank you so much for your terrific compliments!
Ogden (aka Don)

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Guilty conscience will get you a hell of a lot quicker than a foil ever will. But like you stated it's a slow and painful death. Great imagery in this. I like the dream Ike state. The relief found upon waking up. I've had dreams like that. Lol. Great job. Gretchen

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016

Thanks for the compliments, Gretchen. I'm glad you liked the poem!

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Well written poem that once again indeed proves that lies can be some of the most damaging things known to exist and destroy everything they touch.

Probably would have been stronger, for me any way, if the last stanza was not a dream but further illustrated the consequences of lies.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016

I agree, Brett. If I was allowed a fourth stanza, I could have made the liar pay for her calumny. The third would have been needed to set that up. Thanks! I appreciate your comments and positive review.
Ogden (aka Don)

Comment from CEO2020

Exceptional

Exceptional presentation and delivery! Very well written and impact full. A dream he wished was real. Excellent story in poem form with strong imagery.

If you have time, I would like your review of my short story called The Verdict.

Thanks

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016

Actually, the dream was so realistic, he believed he had killed his friend.

CEO, thank you so very much for your generous six-star rating! I appreciate it more than I can say.

I hope you won't think I'm ungrateful, but I am so far behind on personal matters and FanStory obligations and correspondence, I just can't take on reviewing your story. I've even been having to pass on a lot of my own writing I wanted to do.

I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, and I wish you good luck with The Verdict!

Don

reply by CEO2020 on 27-Jun-2016

It's ok. Thanks

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I didn't reference the specifications of the trinet, but I detect a consistent pattern, here. Not to mention a story with a happy ending, the waking up.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016

Thank you, LIJ Red, for what you said. Yes, the trinet does have a required pattern, and it's an interesting challenge.

Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Hi

Lovely poem. Yep, there is always consequences for your actions and truth will eventually come out and sometimes the punishment from a lie will out do, what would have been if you told the truth to begin with.

Great job

Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016

Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem, Galactia. Much appreciated!

Ogden (aka Don)

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

Oh, my goodness. I have the most terrible nightmares and when I get up and often not sure if they are real or not. I hope yours is a fictional story, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016

Pleased to meet you, Debbie! I'm happy to say it is a fictional story.

Comment from maryvellef

Excellent

Very well-composed poem with a smooth flow of words, stressed with excitement just at the right places and of course, the not-so-many lines tell a very interesting story. So it was all just a conscience-stricken dream?

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016

Yes, only a bad dream. Thank you for your very flattering review, Mary. it really means a lot to me!
Ogden (aka Don)