Suffering
Writer follows all the rules11 total reviews
Comment from WalkerMan
Writing (and indeed all art) must reach the reader emotionally as well as intellectually to succeed and be deemed of lasting value. Readers know what they like and do not, just as listeners know their preferences in music. As Ella Wheeler wrote in "Art and Heart" in 1883 (a year before marrying Marius Wilcox), it is the heartbeat sensed beneath the words, notes, or image that makes the difference. Passion shows, and so does lack of it. The waitress could not write Mr. King's novels, but she did know what she liked in them. This story may be fiction, but it is believable as well as well written in itself.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Writing (and indeed all art) must reach the reader emotionally as well as intellectually to succeed and be deemed of lasting value. Readers know what they like and do not, just as listeners know their preferences in music. As Ella Wheeler wrote in "Art and Heart" in 1883 (a year before marrying Marius Wilcox), it is the heartbeat sensed beneath the words, notes, or image that makes the difference. Passion shows, and so does lack of it. The waitress could not write Mr. King's novels, but she did know what she liked in them. This story may be fiction, but it is believable as well as well written in itself.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the awesome review and the six. Gretchen
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You're welcome, Gretchen, and you earned it. All aspiring writers should read this brief story as early as possible in their careers. -- Mike
Comment from Teri7
This is a very cute write you have done for the contest. Very good wording and good dialog. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Teri
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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This is a very cute write you have done for the contest. Very good wording and good dialog. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Teri
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Liberty Justice
Five stars. Congrats! Good luck! Your story very interesting and amusing because writer runs into people who don't believe writer can write. This annoys writer wh I continues to try to be the best. View mine also. liberty justice
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Five stars. Congrats! Good luck! Your story very interesting and amusing because writer runs into people who don't believe writer can write. This annoys writer wh I continues to try to be the best. View mine also. liberty justice
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your wonderful review. Gretchen
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Check more mine and
good luck contest
today.
Comment from JLC EmeraldRiver
This is a very insightful narrative regarding what it means to be a writer, and your perspective is spot on. Writing is something that comes naturally from the mind to the page, and is unique to each writer. It is not something that's forced or approached with lack of creativity, and if it is we would indeed be suffering. I also admired how you conveyed a meaning not only regarding writers, but readers as well. Just as the perspective of a fellow novelist can be helpful, so can the one of a reader, for they know well enough what makes a good story good.
While I did notice a few grammatical errors (namely a run on sentence and a slight switch in verb tense near the beginning of the story), I wasn't disconcerted by these. Nobody's perfect, and you could probably recognize these minor mistakes yourself.
I enjoyed this story to a great extent and I valued the message you convey. This is an expressive narrative that's also encouraging, as it reminds us writers what it means to put pen to paper.
- Jillian
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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This is a very insightful narrative regarding what it means to be a writer, and your perspective is spot on. Writing is something that comes naturally from the mind to the page, and is unique to each writer. It is not something that's forced or approached with lack of creativity, and if it is we would indeed be suffering. I also admired how you conveyed a meaning not only regarding writers, but readers as well. Just as the perspective of a fellow novelist can be helpful, so can the one of a reader, for they know well enough what makes a good story good.
While I did notice a few grammatical errors (namely a run on sentence and a slight switch in verb tense near the beginning of the story), I wasn't disconcerted by these. Nobody's perfect, and you could probably recognize these minor mistakes yourself.
I enjoyed this story to a great extent and I valued the message you convey. This is an expressive narrative that's also encouraging, as it reminds us writers what it means to put pen to paper.
- Jillian
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thank you very much for your nice review.
Comment from LIJ Red
And suffering leads to Misery, and with umpty million wannabe writers
flogging a few thousand plotlines to tatters, what do ya do? Had an uncle, school drop-out but avid reader, with a most discerning eye about prose.
Excellent and to prompt.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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And suffering leads to Misery, and with umpty million wannabe writers
flogging a few thousand plotlines to tatters, what do ya do? Had an uncle, school drop-out but avid reader, with a most discerning eye about prose.
Excellent and to prompt.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Love the connection to misery. Thank you so much for the awesome review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I really liked this piece. It's sly, funny, and very clever. The waitresses speech is a corker in the middle there too. The wannabe writer is an 'superior' arse.
This was handled so well. Great stuff
GMG
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Hi there,
I really liked this piece. It's sly, funny, and very clever. The waitresses speech is a corker in the middle there too. The wannabe writer is an 'superior' arse.
This was handled so well. Great stuff
GMG
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the awesome review and the six.
Comment from --Turtle.
A creative approach to having writing aspects being explained by a wise guru, who is overlooked because of her humble position as a waitress ... a reminder that stories are for readers, and readers can be anyone, and they know what they want. Entertaining; I like the expression of passion as being important to writing.
The only thing I want to suggest is
She stood there waiting. [Her jaw working](Her jaw worked) on a stubborn piece of Dentyne while I slipped my forearm across the yellow legal pad I was
These two sentences don't seem like they should be disconnected, as is. Maybe it is just the 'working' that I paused on. Maybe if you change that to 'worked' everything will fall into place with the two sentences. If you want to keep it as working... maybe connect the sentences together.
Something to consider. Enjoyed the tale... great balance of motion and dialogue, believable dialogue, even in the fantastical chances that the waitress was helping a great writer with his passion, it was made believable and my disbelief was suspended.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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A creative approach to having writing aspects being explained by a wise guru, who is overlooked because of her humble position as a waitress ... a reminder that stories are for readers, and readers can be anyone, and they know what they want. Entertaining; I like the expression of passion as being important to writing.
The only thing I want to suggest is
She stood there waiting. [Her jaw working](Her jaw worked) on a stubborn piece of Dentyne while I slipped my forearm across the yellow legal pad I was
These two sentences don't seem like they should be disconnected, as is. Maybe it is just the 'working' that I paused on. Maybe if you change that to 'worked' everything will fall into place with the two sentences. If you want to keep it as working... maybe connect the sentences together.
Something to consider. Enjoyed the tale... great balance of motion and dialogue, believable dialogue, even in the fantastical chances that the waitress was helping a great writer with his passion, it was made believable and my disbelief was suspended.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the suggestions and the awesome review.
Comment from enitsalemap
I enjoyed this well written story. I loved the twist at the end and the banter between waitress and the writer. I loved her monologue about the passion it takes to be a writer. She was a reader so she knew. Good entry in the WRITING contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed this well written story. I loved the twist at the end and the banter between waitress and the writer. I loved her monologue about the passion it takes to be a writer. She was a reader so she knew. Good entry in the WRITING contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Thank you very much.
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you are welcome
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you are welcome
Comment from Cindy Warren
Ohhh, that would hurt. That waitress was nasty. Mr. King might do her a favor if he told her not to be so narrow minded. Even the great Stephen King has made some collosal mistakes. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Ohhh, that would hurt. That waitress was nasty. Mr. King might do her a favor if he told her not to be so narrow minded. Even the great Stephen King has made some collosal mistakes. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for the read and review.
Comment from rmj09
The focus a writer who feels a waitress wouldn't understand her story.
The story line development: for days a writer would stop at a diner and work on her manuscript. She was of the belief the waitress wouldn't understand the premise of her story. The waitress asks what the story is about. So she tells her and the waitress tells her the ending. The bell on the door rings and she sees a man shuffles in sitting himself at the counter. As she goes to leave she hears the waitress ask how his new story was going. Having heard the name Mr. King she looks to see him hand her his manuscript. He looks at her and it's Stephen King who tells her you always know what to do. So you can't always tell a book by it's cover.
The dialog is very clear with a good understanding of the characters personalities.
The narration shows her surprise that the waitress could tell her the end to her story. Shows her amazement that Stephen King would let the waitress read his manuscript.
The emotion felt dismayed that someone would make judgement about a persons understanding of a book. Amused that she discovered even a well known author would depend on the waitresses help.
Good luck with the contest.
Keep on writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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The focus a writer who feels a waitress wouldn't understand her story.
The story line development: for days a writer would stop at a diner and work on her manuscript. She was of the belief the waitress wouldn't understand the premise of her story. The waitress asks what the story is about. So she tells her and the waitress tells her the ending. The bell on the door rings and she sees a man shuffles in sitting himself at the counter. As she goes to leave she hears the waitress ask how his new story was going. Having heard the name Mr. King she looks to see him hand her his manuscript. He looks at her and it's Stephen King who tells her you always know what to do. So you can't always tell a book by it's cover.
The dialog is very clear with a good understanding of the characters personalities.
The narration shows her surprise that the waitress could tell her the end to her story. Shows her amazement that Stephen King would let the waitress read his manuscript.
The emotion felt dismayed that someone would make judgement about a persons understanding of a book. Amused that she discovered even a well known author would depend on the waitresses help.
Good luck with the contest.
Keep on writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Thank you.:)
