The Bullies
This is a children's story about the effect of kindness.17 total reviews
Comment from Leann DS
This is a great children's story! Superbly written with brilliant visual descriptions! I wish I could draw so we could do a book together and I could create the illustrations I see in my mind. But I can't, so... Forget that. Ha ha
This reminds me of something that happened when my daughter was in first grade. She is now 32 years old. A boy was annoying her. I told her to be nice to him because he might just be trying to make a friend and didn't know how. She took my advice, and they became friends. In junior high and high school, they dated for many years. They are still friends today. Bullies really can be changed with kindness.
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This is a great children's story! Superbly written with brilliant visual descriptions! I wish I could draw so we could do a book together and I could create the illustrations I see in my mind. But I can't, so... Forget that. Ha ha
This reminds me of something that happened when my daughter was in first grade. She is now 32 years old. A boy was annoying her. I told her to be nice to him because he might just be trying to make a friend and didn't know how. She took my advice, and they became friends. In junior high and high school, they dated for many years. They are still friends today. Bullies really can be changed with kindness.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2020
Comment from littlebit69
Very nice story. Just a knock on the door and, a smile from the delivery boy calm the whole family down. Just show you what kindness will do.
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Very nice story. Just a knock on the door and, a smile from the delivery boy calm the whole family down. Just show you what kindness will do.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2020
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello Mary,
This is a delightful story. I like the way an "accidental" act of kindness allowed you to make your point. Wouldn't it be grand if life really worked this way?
Based on your Bio, you obviously know what you're doing, but I had to wonder at the lack of the apostrophe in "Bullys." It just looks off, and I see that you did use the apostrophe, here: No one has ever knocked on the Bully's door before.
I enjoyed this tender tale.
Thanks for sharing,
Lana
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Hello Mary,
This is a delightful story. I like the way an "accidental" act of kindness allowed you to make your point. Wouldn't it be grand if life really worked this way?
Based on your Bio, you obviously know what you're doing, but I had to wonder at the lack of the apostrophe in "Bullys." It just looks off, and I see that you did use the apostrophe, here: No one has ever knocked on the Bully's door before.
I enjoyed this tender tale.
Thanks for sharing,
Lana
Comment Written 07-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the positive comments. I struggled with Bully, Bullys, Bullies, Bully's. I thought I corrected all the inconsistencies but I may have missed something. Thanks for the heads up. I'll look again.
Comment from mfowler
As a teacher I know my students would love your story, especially the direct contrast you create between the Bully's and the Tucker's. They'd love the frown straightening and the hurly burly of being a Bully, while the Tuckers would remind just how their parents might want their families to be. The happy ending is always a winner with kids.
As a writer I'd say you utilize the strength of repetition in kids books to great effect. Throughout you use familiar actions and motifs to tell the story. If I had one criticism it would be the resolution when the act of kindness is employed, came about far too quickly. Although we know it's a kids story, it needs to feel right to overcome our disbelief and convince us miracles do happen,
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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As a teacher I know my students would love your story, especially the direct contrast you create between the Bully's and the Tucker's. They'd love the frown straightening and the hurly burly of being a Bully, while the Tuckers would remind just how their parents might want their families to be. The happy ending is always a winner with kids.
As a writer I'd say you utilize the strength of repetition in kids books to great effect. Throughout you use familiar actions and motifs to tell the story. If I had one criticism it would be the resolution when the act of kindness is employed, came about far too quickly. Although we know it's a kids story, it needs to feel right to overcome our disbelief and convince us miracles do happen,
Comment Written 06-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your knowledgeable comments. I did have some other material leading up to the end but took it out. Maybe I should look at it again.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Marykelly
glad I stopped by and read you bully story about the Bully family
You indeed have a good message for children to remember
Acts of kindness are not hard to do and often make an impact that we have no way of measuring
Gert
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Hello Marykelly
glad I stopped by and read you bully story about the Bully family
You indeed have a good message for children to remember
Acts of kindness are not hard to do and often make an impact that we have no way of measuring
Gert
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your wonderful review and extra star. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.
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smiles Marykelly,
you are welcome
Gert
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed your story. Your writing was excellent and illustrated beautifully the premise. Your theme can also be widely express to adults as well.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed your story. Your writing was excellent and illustrated beautifully the premise. Your theme can also be widely express to adults as well.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the positive feedback and encouragement.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
An act of kindness can indeed go a long way as this well written story depicts.
Some times it is the children that demonstrate to adults how to "pay it forward!"
Seems the delivery boy knew exactly what he was doing and how his act would impact others around him.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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An act of kindness can indeed go a long way as this well written story depicts.
Some times it is the children that demonstrate to adults how to "pay it forward!"
Seems the delivery boy knew exactly what he was doing and how his act would impact others around him.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the very nice comments and observant review.
Comment from Mabaker
I liked this story. I'm not sure modern children would like it but I did. I say this because the modern kid is so fed jealously, hate, greed, the very air they breath is full of bully dust and every bully try's to outdo his brother bully, which is a great shame, because there is always a box of cookies waiting to be delivered even if by default. Regards Mabaker.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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I liked this story. I'm not sure modern children would like it but I did. I say this because the modern kid is so fed jealously, hate, greed, the very air they breath is full of bully dust and every bully try's to outdo his brother bully, which is a great shame, because there is always a box of cookies waiting to be delivered even if by default. Regards Mabaker.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the nice review and I hope the message reaches kids of today too.
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was a charming and skillfully constructed story. I liked your slightly mesmeric use of repetition which younger children enjoy.
'He calls his delivery boy and helps [the delivery boy] *him* strap the box of cookies to his bicycle' (I appreciate that repetitition is an essential and important feature of this story. But I would respectfully suggest that this one is a repetition-too-far).
Adrian
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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I thought this was a charming and skillfully constructed story. I liked your slightly mesmeric use of repetition which younger children enjoy.
'He calls his delivery boy and helps [the delivery boy] *him* strap the box of cookies to his bicycle' (I appreciate that repetitition is an essential and important feature of this story. But I would respectfully suggest that this one is a repetition-too-far).
Adrian
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much for your very positive review. I'll look again at the delivery boy and thank you for the extra star. I'm thrilled by it.
Comment from Unspoken94
Even when an act of kindness is not accepted, don't quit.
This is a wonderful short story Mary and it's a story that
both youth and adults can read and appreciate. One quick
anecdote. I like to look through fellow fan portfolios to see
if there are any pieces needing one more review to be given a
higher level of recognition. However one person the other day
chewed me out for doing it and felt insulted that I would review
something of his for that reason. I apologized but gifts, to be
received need some humility and grace. Not all of us possess
those traits. Great story, Mary. -Bill
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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Even when an act of kindness is not accepted, don't quit.
This is a wonderful short story Mary and it's a story that
both youth and adults can read and appreciate. One quick
anecdote. I like to look through fellow fan portfolios to see
if there are any pieces needing one more review to be given a
higher level of recognition. However one person the other day
chewed me out for doing it and felt insulted that I would review
something of his for that reason. I apologized but gifts, to be
received need some humility and grace. Not all of us possess
those traits. Great story, Mary. -Bill
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
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I love it when my portfolio is examined especially when the intention is to be helpful. As far as I am concerned, read away and thank you for the interest. Also thank you for the complimentary review and as I have indicated in my reviews of your work I admire your writing skills and the messages behind the postings.